Attention, Princeton! Last Chance to Vote in Your Latest Hideously Corrupt, Collossally Embarrassing Student Election
Today marks the final general voting day for Princeton’s Undergraduate Student Government elections, where an alleged criminal runs unopposed for President, upholding Princeton’s proud tradition of choosing the most offensively unfit humans possible for USG office. Soon-to-be-President Conor Diemand-Yauman stands accused of serving alcohol to minors, which, in the closed circuit of college life, is actually a campaign boon. In fact, it’s his platform! The Prince explains,
As USG president his first priority will be to address the discrepancy between the two policies [statutory vs. university-wide drinking regulations] and general lack of clarity as to the consequences for students who decide to seek medical attention for friends in need. … “If the way the Borough reacted to my situation is their typical response for all students, there is a definite problem, and I want to discuss this problem with them along with Princeton administrators to prevent possible consequences,” he said.
On the VP front, a shitstorm of 1AM emails and public call-outs have so thoroughly mucked the results that a re-vote has already been scheduled for later this week. It all started when, in a 1AM email to the entire student body, outgoing president Josh “Not Blackface” Weinstein endorsed his frat brother, Mike Weinberg, for VP. [ Pictured above: The brothers AEPi ] In the email, Weinstein said Weinberg was Diemand-Yauman’s fav candidate, too. But then Die-Y sends an email saying he would never endorse Weinberg, which means Weinstein is a lying liar! So Weinstein sends another email apologizing, but Die-Y says it’s not good enough, and then stuff gets really confusing, because everyone has the same two or three names. (Did you know the current VP’s name is Mike W., too?)
Back to the Prince‘s coverage:
The e-mail began with congratulations for unopposed USG presidential candidate Connor Diemand-Yauman ’10. Weinstein then said that “Connor initially asked Mike to be on a ticket with him, but has decided to remain impartial publicly, because he is unopposed” and commended the combined strength of a potential Diemand-Yauman-Weinberg administration.
In a statement to The Daily Princetonian, Diemand-Yauman said he “was extremely disappointed after reading Josh’s email. I have not endorsed Mike Weinberg, nor do I intend to. Josh’s email was sent without my consultation or my approval. To be clear — I do not endorse Mike Weinberg and I decided not to run on a ticket long before I found out I was running unopposed.”
“I had no idea that he would use my name in the e-mail or mislead the student body in regards to why I decided not to run on a ticket,” he said in an interview.
PUSG then sends a thousand emails and has a bunch of hearings. Diemand-Yauman accuses Weinstein of abusing his presidential powers and of being a flippant jerk:
Diemand-Yauman… said at last night’s USG meeting that Weinstein’s apology e-mail came across as “vague, indirect and borderline sarcastic.”
“This apology is essentially worthless because he is trying to justify his implication,” Diemand-Yauman said. “It’s analogous to someone saying ‘I apologize that I am implying because you are drinking in the morning, afternoon and evening — you are an alcoholic.’ ”
Um, should the guy with pending alcohol violations really be using alcoholism in his hypotheticals?
