The final edition of 02138 came out yesterday wrapped in cyber-cellophane only. The digital magazine format, once regarded as the way of the future, looks like the still-bleeding scars of the failed elitist revolution. Now, pretentious readers across the world must once again retreat to the “Class Notes and Obituaries” section of that other alumni magazine for updates on the cronies.

As promised, the third and penultimate edition of the Harvard 100 List occupies the cover spot. Though we’ve been (very) quick to hate this list in the past, this year’s 100 gleams with an appropriately oak-paneled, vintage facelift from the art department. And actually, it looks pretty suave. If there’s anything better than old men’s magazine ads for polyester pants, it’s a classic rendering of Mark Zuckerberg as Narfle the Garthok.

For any 02138 faithfuls who feared that the editors might go rogue and deviate from the generic self-congratulatory tone of years past by actually getting creative with the list, don’t worry. They didn’t. Barack Obama is number one—up three spots. Bill Gates is number eight—down three spots. 02138 did manage to thank Hulu founder Jason Killar for destroying students’ finals period productivity for the foreseeable future—he’s number 100. Don’t forget to gape at the pretty ironic and frankly tasteless sidebar gawking at former listers who’ve died (pg. 54, after the jump).

[Ed: The flowchart on page 64, demonstrating how a shadowy cabal of Harvard Men brokered and perpetuate the Iraq War is of note, too. —Maureen]

Join the 02138 staff for some good old-fashioned Ivy League self-pity after the jump.

Editor-in-Chief David Blum seems like he’s been a good sport about the whole failure business, keeping his chin up and nose high. Taking ranks among the plebes, he writes:

We’re laid off as of tomorrow, the victims of an economic crisis that has put thousands of Americans out of work—most of them far needier than us. But for the next few minutes, we’re going to wallow in a brief moment of self-pity as we say goodbye to a magazine we barely knew.

He continues:

If there are things you don’t like, writers you’d prefer us to replace, ideas you’d like us to pursue, be sure to—oh wait, never mind.

Actually, David, we do have an addendum or two to your farewell. Wash away your tears with vintage Spanish port and stay tuned for the IvyGate update.  Meantime, cheers for the Mad-Men-analia, which fill the space where 02138's actual ads would go, if 02138 were still a profitable enterprise, and companies were still paying for overdesigned spots in their layout: