Once upon a time Andrew Lahde was a hedge fund whiz kid famous for turning the subprime housing crisis into 1000% gains for his investors. Last week he confirmed everyone’s fear of a rapidly approaching Hedge Fund Apocalypse (or species-wide bankruptcy of the soul, at least) by sending out the most glorious 2AM break-up letter of our time, a two-page “I quit” rant to his associates and investors. It includes damning words about privileged fools whose trust funds now line his wallet:
I was in this game for the money. The low hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale, and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking. These people who were (often) truly not wothy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government. All of this behavior supporting the Aristocracy, only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America.
Contemplation on the nature of capitalism, advice for government reform, and a paean to marijuana (which explains a lot):
Ah, the female. The evil female plant — marijuana. It gets you high, it makes you laugh, it does not produce a hangover. Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating. So why is this innocuous plant illegal? [...] This policy is ludicrous. It has surely contributed to our dependency on foreign energy sources.
Basically, this is the clearest signal possible that everyone with wealth and/or employment in hedge funds should bail immediately. Choice blogsphere commentary and The Complete and Unabridged Andrew Lahde Goodbye Letter, after the jump.
Lahde closed by arguing for the legalization of hemp and marijuana. He called hemp “an alternative food and energy source” and labeled marijuana laws “ludicrous.”
“My only conclusion as to why it is illegal is that Corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other . . . drugs than allow you to grow a plant in your home without some of the profits going into their coffers.”
In other words: Put all that in your pipe and smoke it.
Andrew Lahde will never again get a table at Dorsia.