Now introducing Craigslist of the Young and Restless, featuring the classified needs, desires, and no-fee-sublets of the Ivy League.

We always assumed Brown was the horniest Ivy, whatwith SexPowerGod and all that free-loving, unshaved hippie-crotch stuff. But Cornell — repressed frat boy of the Ivy League — is on the verge of claiming Brown’s Horndog Crown for itself, one anonymous Craigslist Casual Encounters listing at a time.

When we last saw Ithaca’s Casual Encounters, this chick was tirelessly trying to start an orgy, and the Sun was working a sting operation on pervy professors. This week, Orgy Girl is back and looking to found a “Sex Club”:

So Harvard has one, Yale too and Brown invented it….so why shouldn’t we have one too? So the idea is quite simply a club whose goal is the connect people who share the common interest of, well, sex and other delightful acts.

We’re pretty sure she has confused the LGBT Alliance with a swingers’ club. (Just because “homosexual” and “bisexual” have the word “sex” in them does not mean they’re interested in double-teaming you, O.G.) Even Converso Virium doesn’t claim to engage in anything more than titillating conversation. Then again, you never know when some boring inter-collegiate organization like the Ivy Council is going to flip the switch and turn into a key party.

After the jump: Cornell’s $300 foot fetishist alludes to Erica Jong, and a virgin seeks deflowering.

Now, it is entirely possible that this Orgy Girl is not the same person as the other one? But let’s look at the post:

• Given the intervening year, the age is right.
• Repeat use of Spencer Tunick pictures — yeah, he’s sort of a cliche, but seriously, how many orgy-organizing female fans of his attend Cornell and are 21? There really can’t be that many.
• Inter-Ivy competitiveness. Not that all Ivy Leaguers aren’t like that, but still.
• She may use fewer caps locks and emphatic letter repetitions (“incrediblyyyyyy“) but we attribute this to O.G.’s growing maturity, garnered perhaps from her first orgy-leadership position last year.
• “Students only” requirement suggests a pragmatism and seriousness of purpose… unless O.G. is an evil genius who routinely blackmails her sexually adventuresome peers?

Moving along. We now present the Adorable/Pathetic Virgin of the Week:

As far as anonymous internet sex goes, why, this is almost sweet! He’ll either get a tender “American Pie” one-off, or a hideous sexual sadist who will butterfly-knife his soul.

And finally, a look at Ithaca’s foot fetishists, starting with this relatively innocent one:

Big-footed athlete in flip-flops? This definitely reads “bullied by locker-room-jocks in high school… and secretly liked it.” On the other hand, this guy reads Erica Jong:

So those 300 reasons must mean the 300-or-so pages of Fear of Flying, right?

10 Comments To "Craigslist of the Young & Restless: Cornell Orgy-Planner Rebrands As “Sex Club,” Foot Fetishist Cites Erica Jong"

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