Will the Cavalcade of Oversexed, Social Climbing Ivy Leaguers Never End?
This week, New York Magazine strengthens its iron grip on the sexual narratives of upwardly mobile Ivy League females in New York. That's right, the people who brought you "The Overserved Ivy Banker Chick" would now like you to meet "The Single College Girl Obsessed With a Yale Law Student":
7:30 p.m.: Best friend gets a call from an acquaintance inviting us to a party at her older brother's apartment. He goes to Yale Law School — we'll be there.
11:05 p.m.: Party is okay. Talk to some fellow Ivy Leaguers who spurt intellectual justifications as to why they're using their education to make exorbitant amounts of money for themselves rather than bettering society.
11:37 p.m.: Introduced to acquaintance's older brother. He mentions something about opera, and I feign interest because he's pretty cute. He then proceeds to quiz me about some esoteric English composer in order to make me sound and feel like a total idiot. Determine that he probably wants in my pants.
12:42 a.m.: Suspicion confirmed when he challenges me to a game of darts. Just as I'm about to shoot my first dart, I feel his arms wrap around my waist and he whispers in my ear, "How's your concentration now?" I'm immediately aroused.
Yale Law sounds like a total douche. College Girl, save yourself for someone better! Like your hospital co-worker who sexually harasses you in all the right ways:
11 a.m.: Standard morning at the hospital. Hot med student approaches while I'm at the copy machine doing bitch work. He makes a sexist joke about me getting him a coffee and filing some of his paperwork. Don't really mind because I'm hoping this means he finds me sexy and wants to fuck me.
College Girl's sad tale of thwarted horniness and misdirected love includes brainstorming "what boys' and girls' names go with [Law Student's] last name" and internet dating. Given that College Girl appears to be a rising sophomore at her undisclosed Ivy League university, this is, um, a little bit sad. But then, what college romances aren't?
Which university does College Girl attend? I actually can't find any decent clues, other than a reference to sleeping over at her boyfriend's place during freshman year, which at first made me think it was Penn or Columbia (large populations of students living off-campus) but then I remembered that lovestruck frosh will do anything for a sleepover, including splitting a microscopic twin bed in a nasty-ass dorm.
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September 30th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
StephanyHerRoyalHighness, perhaps?
September 30th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
This isn’t a little bit sad; it’s straight-up depressing. Challenged to darts? Sweet god.
September 30th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
“Which university does College Girl attend? I actually can’t find any decent clues, other than a reference to sleeping over at her boyfriend’s place during freshman year, which at first made me think it was Penn or Columbia (large populations of students living off-campus)”
Unless you’re joking, you missed a pretty big clue with:
“I haven’t had anything serious since, but I’m living in New York City — just about the only thing I’ve ever wanted more than a boyfriend, and there’s a whole city around me filled with possibilities.”
Followed shortly by references to the Met and Upper East Side boys. Of course, I also suspect the anon author is actually NYU feigning Ivy, because it says she lives in the East Village, and not many CU students seem to live that far off campus, especially not as underclassmen.
September 30th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
I don’t know who I hate more in this….the guy who flirts with a girl by trying to make her feel intellectually inferior than him and teaching her a skill a 4-year can master……or the big heaping bag of daddy issues on who it works.
I mean Jesus Fuck! This lends credence to the whole “Women like to be treated like crap” idea we guys here all over the place.
He should have punched her in the ovaries while he was at it: Might have gotten to third base.
September 30th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
‘Unless you’re joking, you missed a pretty big clue with…’
You’ve missed a pretty big clue that she’s writing about the summer with:
‘…working as a summer associate at a serious law firm…’
She could be at any Ivy…or not…
September 30th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
I’d say it more likely NYU than Columbia. A Columbia girl would go on and on about how Yale isn’t that good (she got rejected, so she’s bitter towards the whole university) rather than drool over it.
Barnard, however, seems very likely as well.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
An associate anything (banker, lawyer, consultant) in NYC means that you’re probably putting 60-80hrs a week. There just isn’t a lot of time to do stuff, especially play head games with supposed “booty calls” who leave you hanging with blue balls. She’s lucky that she even got an escort to the cab, I would have just kicked her out right away for this BS.
This is why I like hard-working successful ladies with the same intense schedules. They actually value their time and they usually want to get right down to it if you know what I mean.
p.s. On her blue ball strategy to get a “call back”, if a girl gives good head, she WILL get a call back. If a guy doesn’t call back, get an effin clue.