It must be a slow week at Not Penn State because an opinion blogger for The Daily Pennsylvanian decided to devote an entire post on the "Best places to kill yourself on campus". To his credit, the writer provides a hyperlinked disclaimer in the second paragraph:

...stop reading somewhere around HERE if you get all uppity with sensitive things. My editor would like me to link to ponies and rainbows at this point in the post.

One link is to Penn's Reach-A-Peer Helpline, and the other is to Ponystars, an online game created for five-year-old girls. We get it: the post is not meant to be serious. But is poking fun at suicidal college students ever acceptable? And where's the editor in all this, the voice of reason that should have shot this down before it saw the light of day? The only conclusion I could draw is that the editor is probably too busy tending to his or her ponies on Ponystar to really care. More quotes from Will Steinberger's not-so-funny post after the jump.

The windows in the high rises have been engineered so that they are physically impossible to fit through. Most academic buildings are set at a height that would severely injure, though not kill. (No fun!) Science departments and the Medical and Dental schools monitor their hazardous waste with alarming care. And dammit, Allied-Barton is everywhere... So what is a would-be saddo to do here at Penn? Cries for help only go so far, people! And lord knows eating disorders are way played out.

He then lists a few places one could commit suicide in style, including:

College Hall — “Ahhhhh! There are so many crazy ideas whirling around my head right now! I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know who I am or why I’m here. Make it all stop!!!” Bonus points if you impale yourself on the large statue of Mr. Franklin in front of the building. (In fact, impalement on any of our many likenesses of Mr. Kite is a decently respectable way to go out.)

And:

Radian — Thank God for the newest addition to Penn’s messy architectural identity. This lovely piece of Communist architecture is definitely tall enough and sure makes the perfect anti-21st Century statement. (“What does the future hold for us as a people? NOTHING! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!”) The building has a ton of potential jump-off points, but for best results, the top is probably your safest bet.

It's obvious that the author was trying to be facetious, but the blog he posted on is affiliated with The Daily Pennsylvanian. One would expect an "award-winning college rag" to monitor its staff more closely, no?