Harvard’s Very Own Hugh Hefner, if Hef Devoted His Magazine to Pictures of His Own Penis
We know that it’s been scientifically proven (thanks Radar!) that, except for Lena Chen, Harvard students don’t have sex. Ever. Fortunately for us, however, that sense of propriety doesn’t extend to the number one Harvard pastime: starting new and marginally useful publications. We were all a little scared of H-Bomb, which at least tried to be artistic in its display of bookish nerds baring their pasty white flesh. But who could have prepared for Harvard’s newest sex “journalist,” who drops all of the pretense and is just straight-up porn fit for your 13 year old little brother.
Matt DiPasquale (pictured) made some waves last year when he returned from an AVN Adult Industry Expo with the humble dream of creating Diamond, a porn magazine that Harvard could finally be proud of. And then he had the balls to speak about it at a conference on feminism!
Seven months later, the first issue of Diamond is here, and it’s...interesting. (The Crimson on Diamond's launch) It looks like it was designed using only Microsoft Paint and ClipArt, but that’s not the worst part! The editorial content is mostly a a look ahead at some of Summer 2008’s potential biggest blockbusters (This Dark Knight flick looks like it might be pretty good!) but that’s not the worst part, either!
In spite of sending several creepy emails over open lists looking for “sexy models” to pose for him, it looks like Matt could only find two volunteers for the first issue. One of them is himself. The other is a beautiful young woman. Only one of them gets naked. (Are you worried yet?)
After the jump: some very nauseating, very NSFW pages from the first issue of Diamond. Be forewarned: there is an excessive amount of body hair, and one flaccid dong, billowing in the wind in a public park in Cambridge.
See the whole magazine here, but we've already shown you the best (worst?) parts.
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Read more: diamond, h-bomb, Harvard, matt dipasquale, nudity, Sex
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September 16th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Uh. That’s…that’s fantastic, Harvard.
September 16th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I just can’t stop laughing.
September 16th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
our president got a 40% raise over the summer/ our rankings dropped/ and no one cares?11
September 16th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
what an ugly little publication. it looks like something that came out of penn.
September 16th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
What. The. FUCK.
September 16th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Unfortunately, this does indeed look like something that came from Penn; In fact, it looks very similar to the Spring 05 edition of Quake Magazine, penn’s own (now defunct) porno mag.
September 16th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
it’s difficult not to make a penis joke.
September 16th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Well at least he’s aware of the mother issues at play here.
September 16th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
He’s a nice kid. Cut him some slack.
September 17th, 2008 at 2:00 am
Here’s a funny commentary on the magazine in case you don’t have the stomach to actually sift through the atrocity:
http://harrisoncomedy.blogspot.com/2008/09/craziest-thing-you-will-ever-see.html
September 17th, 2008 at 7:45 am
I felt embarrassed for my fine institution for having spawned Alexey Vayner, but hey, Harvard’s always there to help when you need it.
September 17th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Bold! Congrats! Good for you, Matt! And you look great! I can’t wait to see your next issue!
September 17th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
all i tried to do was leave a snarky comment and ended up seeing some dude’s small dick.
ewwwww
September 17th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
He has good points in the text — he’s just doing what he wants and putting it all out there. And why not have to pose for your magazine if you want to make magazines?
September 17th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
That’s an excessive amount of body hair?
Jesus, you kids have to stop watching so much porn.
Srsly.
September 18th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Not only does this prove that Harvard kids don’t have sex, it also proves that Harvard kids don’t have friends! there is no way someone with even one good buddy would commit to making such a colossal fool of himself. Where were his friends to stop him???
September 18th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
That looks like an 8th grader made that magazine using Hyperstudio and Microsoft Word. He needs to hire some layout artists pronto
September 21st, 2008 at 4:06 pm
I love the fact that we also see Matt’s toes in the pictures. I just shot a load looking at him!
November 9th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
that penis is to short and ugley its nasty looking. who woud want that nasty looking thing. yuck
December 27th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Something even weirder than the penis exposure?
The fact that he thinks a list of AP classes taken in high school is interesting to readers! I’m going to hope that Harvard students don’t actually talk about things like that when they meet one another…
June 25th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Very handsome guy, beautiful body, love the intact body hair but hate the trimmed pubes.
June 25th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
SHEILD. MY. EYES. I’m with some of the other people. What the hell was this? lmao
July 21st, 2009 at 6:40 pm
I was so frustrated beacuse I couldn`t resolve this issue. Then I found your site in google and problem is solved. Thanks!