Bastion of Elitism Confronts Citadel of Homophobia
In which the Future of the Military Hazes the Shit Out of the Future of Wall Street
This past Saturday the Princeton football team + marching band traveled to Charleston for a game with the Citadel, the military college of South Carolina most famous for the institutionalized sadism of its hazing process.
Things took a terrifying turn for the surreal, however, when the Princeton University Band (PUB), which apparently had not been instructed that certain parts of the Citadel campus were considered sacred ground, unwittingly traipsed down the Avenue of Remembrance, setting off a round of physical attacks as well as vicious homophobic taunting.
The Prince has the story (with, like, 500 comments): parts of it simply have to be read to be believed. One cadet yelled at students, "‘Cut your hair, long-haired faggots’ and ‘You go have fun in college, I’ll go fight the war," while another shattered a bandmember's clarinet. Mayor Daley's thugs Citadel cadets proceeded to spit on the Yippies scramble-bandies, shove them against trees, and generally conduct themselves like typical Southern gentlemen.
Some, however, fault the Princeton University Band for its provocative antics in the Citadel's conservative atmosphere. Reports abound of band-members "humping" each other as part of their half-time performance. (Them's fightin' pantomime!) Pig-headed belligerent Ken Burger opines for the Charleston Post and Courierier that the "the entire Corps of Cadets should be given a medal for standing up for their school." And Underside points out that the most prominent members of the Band, some of whom were directly involved in the weekend's altercation, have a history of eye-catching agitprop and radical affiliation.
Yet others explain the conflict as a clash of cultures. Perhaps the most intriguing entry in the chattering commentariat belongs to Chin Gou (P' GS), who writes in regard to the maelstrom of deranged comments from Citadel alumni which accompanied the Prince's original article:
"The comments represented three distinct viewpoints: anti-Princeton and pro-Citadel, pro-Princeton and anti-Citadel, and finally, the circumspect "they're both to blame" category. While this campus is generally regarded as the least liberal Ivy, posters in the first group depicted a Princeton full of effete, hippie, gay-loving, draft-dodging, anti-American pseudo-intellectuals. To the second group, Citadel cadets and their apologists were war-mongering rednecks lacking a sense of humor and worst of all, ignoramuses who could never gain admission to Old Nassau."
As both a South Carolinian and Princetonian, let me assure everyone that the third viewpoint is undoubtedly correct. Both the PUB and the Citadel are embarrassments to Princeton and South Carolina respectively, but here's the important difference: one of them is embarrassing like your funny uncle, and the other is embarrassing like Abu Ghraib.
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September 25th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Damn. Wish I could’ve been there.
September 25th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I remember the Princeton band did the same thing at dartmouth – marching down webster at 9 in the morning. They deserve everything they got – fucking douchebags.
September 25th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Princeton kids are fucking pricks. They deserved it.
(Nice architecture though.)
September 25th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
The Citadel is not like going to Army, Navy, or Air Force. Hell, it’s below going to the Merchant Marine Academy or Coast Guard. It’s for the dumbasses who couldn’t get in any of those places and wanted to be thugs, so of course the military was for them (I’m not saying that, but it’s a common mentality).
I come from a family with a military history and many of the current generation serving (prayers are with them all over the globe!), and this is disgraceful. When someone disrespects you, you don’t just physically attack them. Period.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
Comment on the YouTube video: ‘WTF is an amniotic ice pick, i guess that is code word for penis, no one legitmately forms a fucking amniotic ice pick. You can pull the wool over an old man’s eyes, but not mine. JUST WATCH THE GUYS RUN IN CIRCLES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE AMNIOTIC ICE PICK, LOOKS LIKE AN AMNIOTIC ICE DICK!!!!’ o rly!
Comment from Princetonian article: ‘2. As for homosexuality issues: I don’t care if you support gays or not. “Humping” objects or others in public is offensive. The military will never accept homesexuality as it brings disunity and breaks down the integrity of a unit. So at The Citadel, especially us Christians, we hate homosexuality. Yes, gays have rights, but we have a right to hate them and what they stand for.’
Yay!
September 26th, 2008 at 12:13 am
To Band.
Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….Ok.
September 26th, 2008 at 7:13 am
Yeah, Citadel and VMI are not true service academies, they are state-run pseudo-military schools. The “general” who runs either of them is usually a “general” in the local militia, not the U.S. Army. Not even the National Guard. Just the South Carolina Honorary Would You Like More Gold Braid? Platoon.
September 26th, 2008 at 7:18 am
I went to Princeton, and if things are the same as they were when I was there, our band sure is a bunch of funny-looking individuals. Not that that ought to invite abuse, but they kind of look like different species of Comic Book Guy.
September 26th, 2008 at 11:29 am
“paramilitary school”, just so you know, that is not true. The presidents at both schools had long military careers. General Rosa (citadel) was a career Air Force pilot who went on to be superintendant at the Air Force Academy, and retired to Citadel. Superintendant of VMI was a four star Army general, who was career infantry.
September 26th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
War is Hell…on clarinets.
September 26th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
It’s alright, Princeton Band Geeks. These rednecks are going to be beating their wives, making measly wages, and still angerin bout them faggots twenty years down the road. A study came out some time ago which proposed that those who present constant homophobia and resentment toward homosexuality actually harbor homosexual feelings themselves (or have had some kind of homosexual contact during their youth, consensual or not) — which isn’t very surprising because it takes a great deal of passion and psychological abnegation to vehemently hate people who have no involvement or effect on your life. Most insane fundies are an exception to this rule though because they hate on just about everyone.
September 27th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
wait, so you describe those who have had non-consensual advances made against them as children as hating people who have had “no effect” on their life?
September 27th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Anonymous-George-Anonymous-Anonymous,
One of the great innovations of the little cartoon avatars is that every IP address has a constant one…basically; we can see when the same person posts 4 times in a row?
September 27th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Or actually scratch that….Guess my theory was wrong. Mah bad.
September 27th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
These cartoons are fucking stupid
September 28th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Shut the fuck up.
September 28th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
The band deserved everything they got. Served them right for mincing around in their little uniforms. On the other hand, the Citadel punks are losers, which of course they know.
September 29th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
The thing is, the Citadel isn’t even any good at producing soldiers:
Notable princeton Warriors:
Rumsfeld 2x SecDef
Carlucci SecDef
J Baker SecState
George Schultz SecState
Lighthorse harry Lee
Gen David Petraeus
Adm William Crowe, Chairman Joint Chiefs
Citadel: i did not recodnize a single military graduate;
princeton Makes Generals and Admirals, Citadel makes cannon fodder…..
September 29th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
The only thing the Citadel is famous for is not letting women attend. Something all the real military academies have done for years. Yeah, Citadel is pretty much for losers who can’t get into West Point (or any of the others for that matter) or losers who are too scared to leave their home state.
September 30th, 2008 at 12:31 am
Screw the band, what about that byline?
October 14th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Like RATM and other metal bands?
You can find all kinds of bands that hate authority here, links, reviews and interviews to bands. Everything is so screwed up these days with the economy and the bailout, how about a little free entertainment to ease your worries?
http://musicblognetwork.blogspot.com/
October 26th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
I dont get how this whole thing became how the citadel is homophobic. That is not even a part of it. people were calling them a ton of names, some biased writer just picked out the word faggot and all of a sudden every cadet is a homophobe. That is stupid, nobody spit on female band members and nobody generaly thought yall were gay. It was a straight up fight because the Princeton band doesnt work like a normal band. And all the other schools who act that way get into huge fights. Referance past Citadel-VMI games. Theres allways little scuffles when people act that way. But just because this one was a beat down, it is treated differently. It wasnt about homophobia, it was about adrenaline and ignorance of both schools cultures.
September 8th, 2009 at 2:50 am
I know this posting is way too late. I just felt the urge to clarify a few misunderstandings.
Both sides were wrong in the manner they approached and interacted with each other. The Cadets should have acted with restraint and PUB with decorum.
I believe the gentleman that calls The Citadel a pseudo military college is obviously suffering from a case of cranial/rectal inversion. Being a graduate of The Citadel and currently serving as a paratrooper in the US Army gives me insight into both. I would like to assure him that this seemingly retrograde institution is producing competent soldiers/leaders.
I would like to thank all those that accuse The Citadel of attracting nothing more than academic detritus/bottom feeders. I just think it’s awesome to insult those who want to serve their country.
Well, then again, we don’t want to give weapons and military training to those that could only qualify for a tenth tier school.
Don’t worry, I have a solution. Unlike Rumsfeld (Princeton), I have a plan. Why not just shut The Citadel down and for good measure, VMI also. We can then make up the difference in graduating officers by simply selecting the most qualified Princeton graduates instead. This way we can assure that the military receives the most competent, non homophobic, top notch officers it deserves.