A Streetcar Named Unprecedented Intoxication
As today's Ragtime notes, last summer in Rhode Island a man named Stanley Kubierowski was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving. What does this have to do with the Ivy League? Well, the man happened to be Brown President Ruth Simmons' "former part-time house chef."
But that's not important in the least. What's important is Kubierowski's BAC at the time of arrest, as confirmed by multiple tests administered by those trained in such things: .49. Let me repeat that number, this time in italics, spelled out for dramatic effect, with ellipses all over the place, and capped by an exclamation point: his BAC was point...four....nine...!
This is simply unbelievable. Forget charging Kubierowski with any sort of crime. Give that man a medal for his Rasputin-like tolerance. According to some chart I found on Wikipedia, the only consequences listed for having a BAC over .4 are "Unconsciousness" and "Death."
Of course, we shouldn't get too caught up in the boozy-boosterism side of the story. There's definitely a potentially tragic aspect here: God only knows what might have happened if Kubierowski had attempted to make Ruth Simmons a Caesar salad in that condition. Salmonella? You bet.
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