Lamest Wii Game Ever Is A Virtual Testament To Dartmouth’s Lamest Rule Ever
Never have I ever played a lame-ass drinking game with cups of water and had my college tell me that it was totes against the rules. But that's because I don't go to Dartmouth. A recent Time magazine article entitled "The War Against Beer Pong," describes the demise of Wii's upcoming Beer Pong game, part of their new line of "Frat Party Games" (what's next--Superman That Ho?). Apparently, haters took issue with the word "beer," and now the game is set to be released as Pong Toss, with party cups full of water instead of brewskis.
As ridiculous as this sounds, the banning of beer pong is not so far removed from our own ivy-covered buildings. The article cites Yale and the University of Pennsylvania as schools that now ban drinking games because, evidently, your R.A. will magically know when you and your roommate watch Ocean's Eleven and do a shot of Stoli every time Brad Pitt's character eats or drinks something.
I mean, I get it, drinking games are a way for people to get drunk, but if they really want to wake up the next morning with a pounding headache, won't students just...get drunk anyway?
But it isn't just Yale and UPenn that want you to sit quietly with your bottle of Maker's Mark and not keep score of shit. Dartmouth has gone a step further and actually banned water pong! I wonder if they'll ban the Pong Toss game by extension? What exactly is Dartmouth's reasoning here? Just that you can fatally overdose on good ol' Poland Spring. Well, if someone wants to get rushed to the ER because they've chugged too much water, they've either been the victim of Greek hazing gone awry, or they're too effing stupid to go to Dartmouth. I'm sorry, but it's true.
Per the article, Kristen Deal, a Dartmouth community director, reasons that, "I know that [water pong] seems like a good balance between the Dartmouth drinking culture and just trying to have fun, however, it can be just as dangerous, if not more so."
Oh, God, kill me now. First Scrabulous is taken away from us, and now, must we watch the Ivies topple one by one, swayed into some ridiculous war against drinking paraphernalia? Tell me it isn't true! And must our dear sweet Wii follow only steps behind? Shit, this is sobering stuff. I think we all need a drink. So do you want to bring the ping pong ball, or should I?
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August 2nd, 2008 at 10:13 am
First off, Yale never banned beer pong. They banned it at tailgates because it was creating a “fraternity” like feel to the event. BS. Secondly, Yale doesn’t have RA’s. Drinking at Yale is seen as a health issue, not a discipline issue, so the “RA’s,” which we call Freshman Counselors, don’t have disciplinary powers. Translation, the UPenn administration sucks, and Dartmouth is in real trouble, because beer pong was one of the really great things that it had going for it!
August 2nd, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I was always under the impression that when you played water pong, you threw the water out, unless you wanted to be a COMPLETE hardass…”Dude, I am so hydrated right now”
August 2nd, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Also, to get a sense of exactly how lame the administration is getting when it comes to pong, check this out.
http://www.dartblog.com/data/2008/07/007919.php
they canceled the Masters!
August 2nd, 2008 at 3:27 pm
That’s not why water pong was banned at Dartmouth. Students were bringing in pong stables to play in their dorm kitchens, common rooms, and basements, some of which were not carpeted. Whenever a cup was knocked over, water would spill all over the place and (since students are used to playing by frat basement rules meaning no one cleans up anything), puddles would form. Now, you’re playing a game that basically forces you to walk (and sometimes jog) around your half of the table and there’s water all over the floor. That sounds like a pretty dangerous situation to me. You can even take it a step further: what if someone is coming home plastered at 2 or 3 am and they can’t really see or notice the puddles that had innocently been left behind by a group of water pong players earlier. If that drunk person slips and falls, the administration becomes the responsible party. The administration is basically just trying to cover their butts so that when shit hits the fan, they come out smelling like a rose. I can’t blame them.
August 2nd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I would bet a lot of money that uhhuh above is a Dartmouth administration grunt. Possibly Kristen Deal.
August 2nd, 2008 at 10:56 pm
“Dartmouth is in real trouble, because beer pong was one of the really great things that it had going for it!”
yeah, i know, one administrator asking students to not play water pong in a dorm common room has caused a complete abandonment of pong in dorm rooms, or frats, or sororities, or off campus houses.
nobody rages anymore.
August 3rd, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Re: jackn123
Remember everyone, Yalies are too sophisticated to have RA’s!
August 3rd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
S’true, it’s the only way to get daddy’s coke into the dorms undetected.
August 3rd, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Why is this the first I’m hearing about this Masters thing? Seems post-worthy.
August 4th, 2008 at 9:45 am
Someone should point out that the Wii game imitates “beer pong,” not Pong. Pong, which is the game played at Dartmouth, is played with paddles, like table tennis. The Wii game is just about throwing the ball.
August 5th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Drinking games!
http://www.ucbcomedy.com/videos/play/918
August 7th, 2008 at 11:48 am
this is the first time i’ve heard anything about drinking games being banned at penn. i mean, they’re not encouraged, but as i understand it, if you get written up (hard to do unless you’re a freshman in the quad), it doesn’t matter what you were doing with the alcohol, just that it’s there. it’s not like you incur a special punishment if you were playing beirut with it as opposed to just sitting around and drinking it.
also, fix the rss feed. it exports like 10 posts at a time.
March 17th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
drinking games are definitely banned at penn. fraternities always have to hide pong tables because ofsa will fine them if they’re left visible.
March 20th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Yale has rules? Against drinking?
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:30 am
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