Remember the time Jacob and I said Facebook isn’t actually destroying humanity, because people are intelligent and increasingly sophisticated at interpreting the internet? Well, a funny thing happens when you write a pro-Facebook editorial. First, you get a zillion friend requests from editors, bloggers, etc. You feel like you have to accept them because you just said Facebook is cool, so you’d be a total hypocrite if you didn’t! But in your heart of hearts, you suspect people may not be quite as sophisticated as you hope; deep down, you know that “superpoke” and “business contact” are two concepts that ought never interact. Yes, our culture is evolving to keep up with the internet. But, um, we might not be all the way there, yet. We’re kind of cyber cro-magnon.

After unlocking his left-leaning profile to a Fox News producer, Jacob wasn’t allowed to go on the air. Then, a few days ago, this chick I had to email for my new job freaked when she saw “IvyGate” listed under “networks.” She got internet-pissed at me because IvyGate once made fun of this cute guy she knows, Cameron Winklevoss (or maybe his twin, I kind of can’t keep track) and caused a minor blog-world kerfuffle. She wrote me this nutty email where she called me an un-American alien, which I would call racist, but I can’t remember if I unlocked my pictures for her or not, so maybe she doesn’t know I’m Asian. After the jump, Rachelle’s email, including these sentences with regards to the Winklevoss twins:

In case you missed the memo, they are going to represent the United States, YOUR country, in Beijing this August. Your lack of support for our athletes and the Olympic spirit is a disgrace

Look, I love the Olympics as much as the next spandex junkie, but this chick needs to get a grip. It’s an athletic competition featuring teenage girls ribbon-dancing on floor mats, not a war zone.

from: Rachelle, editor of GuestOfAGuest.com
to: Maureen, “a.k.a. Citizen Shame”
date: Aug 4, 2008 at 11:12 AM
subject: Re: Winklebosses, for Nonsociety

Maureen

On second thought, I find it quite puzzling that you have asked me to ask the Winklevosses to guest blog as Olympians for Julia Allison and yourself, given that two days prior, ivygate (of which you are an editor) called them “spoiled bitches” and marginalized their Olympic pursuit as “taking off the past 4 years to paddle around the country.”

How do you even have the nerve to ask them to blog for you? What planet are you from?

On this note, do you have any idea how much work and effort goes into becoming an Olympian? In case you missed the memo, they are going to represent the United States, YOUR country, in Beijing this August. Your lack of support for our athletes and the Olympic spirit is a disgrace

I am not going to ask them for you or put you in contact, but I will probably be posting on the shamelessness and two-faced nature of your request shortly.

-Rachelle

The fire! The passion! The patriotism! The slow crescendo of an indignant blogger working herself into a frenzy of histrionic righteousness! She begins merely “puzzled,” then rolls through intergalactic rage, international brimstone, then that final maniacal cackle: Wait until you see this on the internet. Revenge, sweet revenge, it is mine!

So, in case anyone hasn’t figured it out, yet: During summer, IvyGate has guest editors who do all the writing and editing. They are a talented bunch, which is why we don’t vet their posts before they go up. And, yeah, it’s summer, and I just graduated, and maybe I’m not reading as carefully as I should. But the thing is, when I went back and re-read the offending Winklevoss post, I noticed this:

Tyler and Cameron desperately need the good press.

See? I was just trying to help! What better way to turn that Trojan horse of internet infamy around, than with space on NonSociety.com, a website known for its impeccably positive press? Besides, the antagonistic-editor/maligned-internet-personality thing is so very “now.” I have good role models for that, too.

Also? RACHELLE HRUSKA, YOU ARE SO DE-FRIENDED.