We Are the Change We’ve Been Waiting For

Good morning, idle Ivy League interns! I'm Mike, Brown ’10, and Jesus Christ is it a slow news month.

Seriously -- what the hell. Please, get out of your office, do something embarrassing and send us a video. Start a damaging rumor about someone you don't like.

Anything.

Many thanks to Nina and Charleton for holding down the fort. I am excited to take the reins at this esteemed blog for the next two weeks.

I will try to post some cheap, ethics-free entertainment when I am not at my day job interning at a newspaper in New York, where I pretend I am a serious journalist.

And now I'm happy to introduce the second guest editor:

Dear IvyGate Readers,

My name is Andrew Martin and I used to go to Columbia University in the city of New York. Unfortunately, I've had to move from the trendy bar district of Morningside Heights to the utterly desolate heart of the East Village. Some nights, I wake up screaming "Senior Night at the West End!" and realize that I have nowhere to go. But that's all right. I'm an intern at a very nice old magazine with downtown offices and I work with other people who attended Ivy League colleges, or foreign colleges that are even better than Ivy League colleges. I've moved up from getting rejected by Barnard girls to getting rejected by much prettier NYU girls. And I've got my Secret Ivy Ring now, which helps me get out of scrapes with the law on land and sea. My goal is to serve you. If something's not up to par, treat me as you would the help: with a swift kick to the shins.

****************************************************

True, it's another two weeks for you guys of hit-or-miss guest editors. But please, don't be too hard on us -- you almost had this instead. (Please, do click.)

--MIKE BECHEK AND ANDREW MARTIN

11 Responses to “We Are the Change We’ve Been Waiting For”

  1. Kurtz Says:

    Here’s a story: for the past month, all IvyGate entries were written by a Barnard girl.

  2. Hahvahd Says:

    Is Barnard even an Ivy?

  3. cec Says:

    oh great it’s andrew “fucking” martin, legend of stage and screen from columbia, lead singer of “campfire beacon,” america’s #1 vampire weekend cover band

    who let him on the internet, I thought it had taken out a restraining order against him after the “dimitri assface” brawl down in little odessa

  4. slpz Says:

    maybe you just get rejected by everyone because you’re a large bag of douche.

  5. rolled eyes Says:

    At Kurtz and Hahvahd. Seriously. Get over yourselves

  6. Tully Says:

    look. stop commenting about whether or not barnard is an ivy school. nick promised there would be open comments again once he figures out how to block you fuckers, or the blogging technology is sufficiently advanced so that it can build a robot, a robot who can read and delete these slanderous comments.

  7. crunknellian Says:

    Please, do go fuck yourselves.

  8. Tully Says:

    @crunknellian

    you still seem bitter that you didn’t get to be guest ivygate editor.

  9. Hahvahd Says:

    LOL I knew that questioning the ivy-ness of Barnard would set off a string of comments like the ones above… so fucking predictable…

  10. princeton09 Says:

    “LOL”? Are you serious?

  11. Gahhhh Says:

    What? Why are you making fun of Evan? He’s a great writer. I’m confused.

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