I have a nose for trends, among other things. In January of 2007, I predicted that the troop surge would bring about an immediate end to the war in Iraq. A year and a half later, I’m still collecting money from people who bet against me. Last summer, mere days after it came out, I accurately predicted that Spiderman 3 would be a huge hit. Lo and behold, I was right again.

I am confident, therefore, that I am in a pretty safe place in predicting the biggest, sexiest rivalry of the summer: Sheehan v. Sununu. Big Red John v. Little Blue Jeanne. He puts the “nu” in New Hampshire; she puts the “eehan” in “Katee, hand me that map of New Hampshire from the glove compartment.”

Seriously: Democrat Jeanne Sheehan is trying to unseat Republican John Sununu from his Senate seat in New Hampshire, and yesterday she gave a speech about science at Dartmouth. What better place to pick a fight about the importance of science in New Hampshire than venerable Dartmouth College? What better place in New Hampshire at all, really (besides this place)?

After the jump, the sordid details…

Following a speech at Dartmouth on the need for increased funding for scientific research, Sheehan invoked the dreaded “grandmother” argument familiar to many a guilt-ridden Armenian boy.

Though she always has supported relaxing Bush’s limits on embryonic stem cell research, Shaheen said the issue has become personal since her 8-year-old granddaughter was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes last fall.

“As a grandmother and as an American, I am angry that we have lost seven years of promising research because of President Bush’s restrictions on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research,” she said.

Tough stuff, but Sununu has a response. He’s an engineer, not a grandmother dammit. And if you want to do stem cell research, you better be willing to do lots of offshore drilling. Because… science.

“As the only engineer in the U.S. Senate, I have been proud to fight to protect funding for the National Science Foundation from political manipulation, supported funding for stem cell research and co-sponsored legislation establishing tough emissions standards for carbon dioxide, mercury and sulfur,” he said. “With oil at $140 a barrel, Jeanne Shaheen continues to toe the extreme liberal line, ignoring technological improvements that allow us to produce new energy deep offshore while providing better protection of the environment than ever before.”

Where others might see a conventional, even dry policy debate, I see a near future of “Team Grandma” and “Team Engineer” T-shirts in the windows of the St. Mark’s shops, right next to the “New York Fucking City” butt shorts and wicked sweet glass. Pick a side, man. This shit’s gonna be bigger than Speed Racer.