Finally, Timely Room Service
If you're anything like us, you've found that in-room hotel dining is intolerably tedious. In the time that it takes for the Filet to reach our penthouse suite, we've usually changed our mind completely, requiring us to send our hapless hotel attendant back to the kitchen for some cold shrimp or what have you. Thankfully, it seems that Cornell, well admired for its top flight Hotel Management school, has produced some athletes of appropriate speed and stamina to meet our rigorous demands.
While most of you were at home masturbating to patriotic music videos on YouTube this 4th of July weekend, some Cornellians were running very quickly in races, with the apparent goal of competing in the Olympics. While you couldn't pay me to travel to Red China, these kids put in an exceptional effort at the US and Canadian Olympic Trials. Morgan Uceny, Cornell ’07, finished a close fourth in the 1500 meter run, Muhammad Halim of the class of ’08 managed 10th in the triple jump, and Adam Seabrook, also ’08, was fifth in the 400 hurdles. Seabrook is Canadian, however, and should therefore be ignored.
While none of these speed-gifted young people actually qualified for the Olympics (Cornell never really wins, does it?) we salute their shiny shorts nonetheless. All that running will come in handy, after all, when the elevator at the St. Regis is broken and we need that 2 a.m. bottle of Cristal now.
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July 7th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Oh, interesting. Some Cornell students didn’t make it to the Olympics.
Of course there’s Dartmouth’s Jarrod Shoemaker ‘04 and Craig Henderson ‘09 in the triathlon and soccer, or the five Princeton alumns on the rowing roster
July 7th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
There are handfuls of kids from each school that participated in the most recent running and swimming trials and didn’t make it, not to mention, as SOccum pointed out, some who actually did. If you’re going to bring candy to class, bring enough for everyone.
July 7th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
And I thought the guest editors last week were bad…This is just an irrelevant news story (Cornell people did well but not well enough) paired with an unfunny and pretentious view of Cornell (a school that never wins that is best known for its hotel management school - a loaded thing to bring up given that many ivy-types, the types this site should be poking fun of, look down on Cornell because of the school). Please don’t bring any more candy whatsoever.
July 7th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
not terrible. more blogging, please.
July 7th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
glad to see two Lawrenceville Alums writing for Ivy Gate (Andrew Martin and Charleton Lamb)!
July 7th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
fantastic. andrew you are a poet