Daphne Oz Still Thinks You Are Fat
Remember Daphne Oz, Princeton's diet queen and author of The Dorm Room Diet? No? Well, it appears that she also made a related workout video featuring her sister Arabella and ex-boyfriend Sam Dodson, Princeton '08. We have acquired exclusive (okay, not exclusive, but magnificent nonetheless) footage just for you.
Buy your very own copy on Amazon! Bonus: it can be used as a coaster for all the bowls of delicious, delicious carbohydrates that you will never give up.
More Daphne Oz after the jump.
If that video didn't convince you of the wisdom and dignity behind Daphne Oz's dorm room regimen, maybe we should consult the original source, the book that Ross Urken in the Nassau Weekly called "a brilliant literary pastiche of epic prose, nimble poesy, and cathartic advice" in the spirit of "Princeton’s literary tradition" that includes such luminaries as Eugene O’Neill and F. Scott Fitzgerald. Perhaps this totally not fake anecdote will prove persuasive:
[A] woman in my dorm, Lydia, says her roommates like to wrap up long nights of studying with a trip to the university store for a pint of gourmet ice cream—each. Unfortunately, long nights are fairly coxmmon [sic] in college, so she was eating ice cream at least three times a week after midnight. Because the event had become a tradition, she felt awkward saying that she didn’t want to partake. Lydia knew she wasn’t eating because she was hungry; it was a way to socialize and she didn’t want to feel like a party pooper. She dealt with the issue by getting a low-fat frozen yogurt or a frozen fruit bar instead of ice cream; this way she could still be with her friends and enjoy their company without all the extra calories. They teased her the first time, of course, but after a few trips many of them were choosing the healthier option, too. They didn’t lose their tradition; they just adjusted it."
How convenient for Daphne Oz that Lydia, the very person that can demonstrate the steel bonds of friendship made possible only by overeating, lives in her dorm!
Still not convinced? Allow Daphne Oz to break it down to the basics:
"You just cram it in and think nothing of it—until it creeps up onto your butt." (Um, that's what she said?)
So true. But Daphne Oz will still have to pry the Phish Food out of our cold, dead hands.
Dorm Room Diet Workout [Amazon]
The Dorm Room Diet by Daphne Oz [Dorm Room Diet]
A Kaavya Viswanathan for the Self Help Set. Just Without All the Plagiarism and Stuff. [Gawker]
You're the One For Me, Fatty [Gawker]
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June 26th, 2008 at 4:04 am
[...] [...]
June 26th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
It’s a shame that Daphne’s fat. And that her dad goes on TV to talk about poo and middle aged women who can’t orgasm.
July 1st, 2008 at 7:16 am
[...] her sister Arabella and ex-boyfriend Sam Dodson, Princeton ???08. We have acquired exclusive okay, nhttp://www.ivygateblog.com/2008/06/daphne-oz-still-thinks-you-are-fat/Impacts of Crop Placement Changes in New Flexible Variety Registration System SeedQuestA complete [...]
May 1st, 2009 at 6:02 pm
She said that her Dad SQUOZED an artery on the Tyra show today. She is an IDIOT. I will not buy her book
May 12th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
leave the girl alone alreday! why do you hate on her like this? you all are just jealous. and get over this ivy stuff already. you don’t have to go to an ivy league school to be smart (e.g., bush) or to be successful (e.g., oprah).