Liveblogging Newman’s Day: Pissing with Pikes (UPDATED 11:57 PM)
Princeton’s dukes of drunk, Mike and Will, continue the 24-beer Newman’s Day challenge, with live and increasingly messily typed updates after the jump. For the morning liveblog click here. For an explanation as to why anyone would ever do such a thing, click here.
4:50PM: Pikes by the Pool
Mike: With Will in class, I’ve been looking for someone else to talk to about Newman’s Day. Luckily, I ran into a friend who told me Princeton’s Pikes were set up outside a dorm with a kiddie pool, grilling, and shagging golf balls down between the other residence halls.
I stopped by to talk to a few of them between beer 13 and 14. They were in generally good spirits, and one of them, who wasn’t doing Newman’s Day because his Junior Paper was due (but was still drunk anyway), gave me a few words about his ideas. For those of you who think Will and I aren’t getting drunk fast enough, my Pike friend would also offer some advice.
“Newman’s Day [the holiday in which one drinks 24 beers in as many hours] isn’t about getting drunk,” he said, “it’s about hanging out. When you’re a Freshman it seems really hard, but I’ve got friends who are doing 36 or 48 beers. Whatever. It’s not really about the holiday, either. One sports team that has to be dry tonight is doing it next week.”
While this was going on, Pikes were taking turns pissing in a grate that covered a basement window. Oh, they were wrestling, too.
Anyhow, Will and I are stepping it up. We’ve got dodgeball coming up, classes are over, and then the Street will open.
- Mike: Beers: 14, BAC: 0.02
- Will: Beers: 13, BAC: 0.08 (I am now unable to drive in most states. Thank god I don’t have a license.)
….
8:31 PM
We would like to highlight at this point the difficulty of Newman’s Day. It is not the fact of drinking 24 beers, but rather the rules that one must follow in order to drink those beers. Namely, not falling asleep and having to go to class, where one cannot look drunk. All over campus, Newman’s Day participants are slumped in lawn chairs, or on couches, hoping that the end comes soon. The urge to shut one’s eyes is overpowering, and similar is the desire to pick up a Red Bull, even though that means the intake of another diuretic. At the end of the day, sure, there will be a burst of energy, but right now we’re in the doldrums. The only way to make it stop is to drink the remaining beers…
Also, we found that there may soon be a Saint Newman. Alright!
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article3807272.ece
Tallys:
Mike: Beers: 19, BAC: 0.05
Will: Beers: 19, BAC: 0.08
….
10:28PM: Mike Takes Victory Lap, Sober Enough to Drive Car. Apparently 25 Beers Is OK For Operating a Motor Vehicle?
Mike is finally finished. After 16 hours, 30 minutes, and 24 beers, Mike pulled ahead of Will while helping some late-coming dude-bros looking to stash some brews in a secret location. He snagged a Cream Ale for it, as a celebratory number 25.
Will is MIA. The duo will reunite for dodgeball soon and then for the Street. Stay tuned…
Tally
Mike: Beers: 24, BAC: 0.06
Will: MIA
….
11:42PM: Will’s Grand Return, and a Shot of Reality from an Old Person
Will returns from an embarrassingly early elimination from the dodgeball tournament and shotguns his last two beers. Maureen types because Will is not entirely stable due to an unfortunate run-in with a half-gallon of milk at dinner. He blows a 0.15 on the alcohol iPod. He claims this cannot be true; clearly, the alcohol iPod is miscalibrated; perhaps he needs to wash it down with some water; is God and/or soon-to-be-beatified Cardinal Newman intervening?!
Final tally:
Will: Beers: 24, Other liquids: Ugh, stomach turning, BAC: 0.15
Mike: Dodging rubber balls. Evening plans unclear, but we kind of doubt he’s going out.
The dukes of drunk retire for the evening, slightly ashamed to not have blown beyond 0.15, but seriously, steady drunkenness for an entire day? Tiring. A reality check comes in the form of an email from Maureen’s mother:
cant believe it. the two guys are not falling down drunk yet! actually, they are providing valuable info on the alcohol drinking and processing. ha!
Nothing like an old person to remind you that, yes, this is the kind of behavior that is only acceptable on a college campus. Ivy as we may be, we’re still just a bunch of asshole college kids who dream big and fall down prematurely drunk every time.
Think you can do better? Tell us about your college’s drinking traditions. Graduation, reunions, and senior weeks are coming up — let the liveblog of lush-ery live on!
