Fun with Facebook: Meet the Class of 2012, the Douchiest Class in History
Certain things: death, taxes, pre-frosh baring their innermost secrets on Faceook, never seem to get old. Remember back when the now-esteemed Class of 2011 discussed their favorite drinks with the world (consensus: beer is gross, but foreign beer is like okay)?
Well, members of the Class of 2012 are not so different than their intrepid predecessors: they still like to talk about how much they love mojitos and margaritas and that “jager = good taste” (!!!!) and that they hate beer because it “smells funny and looks kind of funny too.“
Indeed, worried that Princeton is for squares, Mary-Jane Smith (what a clever pseudonym!) writes in:
I made a fake ID (ok, the name’s really lame… whatever) Do a lot of people smoke weed? And since the 17- 19 preview is near 420, will there be a lot of smoking? Because personally I smoke at least once a week and I was wondering if anyone else at Princeton did the same…
Still the vast majority of the 2012’s have moved on to a more important subject: themselves. They want to answer the most burning of questions: in this, the most competitive of all college seasons, how did they get in? We’ll let them tell you themselves:
You guys think you have tough choices! Ha! Listen to this… I got into Harvard, UPenn, Yale, Brown, CalTech, Stanford, MIT, and Dartmouth. Unfortunately, I somehow got denied from Cornell, which I really liked, but I was in all likelihood overqualified. This was unfortunate.
One Yalie on how “funny” life can be:
After the jump: the academic records you never wanted to see.
The Columbia kids seem obsessed with throwing around their academic records for the world to see:
Hey watsup….Well ur really smart for askin around….i maintained a 4.1 throughout highschool… and i took about 5 AP classes and many honors classes…. i am ranked 32 iin my class….my SAT score was alrite it twas like a 1650… and my ACT was a 25….. Neither was extremely impressive….but i am invlved in many extracurricular activities… i have many leadership positions and have started several clubs.. i am highly involved in my community as well… they take everything into consideration… i kno kids who are brilliant and have like 4.6’s and perfect test scores and got denied or deferred…. the school looks for a well rounded individual who has great leadership potential…
hey, like the others have said, Columbia is not all about grades, but they do matter. I don’t know the average GPA or SAT’s, but personally I did the full IB and ended up with 40 points and a GPA of 3.89, an SAT of 2140 and my SAT 2’s added up to 2180. but what really counts is that you are a well rounded or unusual person and that you can bring and contribute something to Columbia.
I don’t know if my response is valid because i’m playing a varsity sport but i got a SAT 2220, ACT 33, and two SATIIs that combined to 1550. What i want to know is how all you guys did on your AP or IB tests because it’s SO HARD to get credit for them at Columbia XP
More 2012 antics to come!
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April 22nd, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Its amazing that nobody will give a shit about high school once college starts. I’ll give them 5 months from today that they’ll stop caring entirely
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:36 pm
This is awesome.
“I somehow got denied from Cornell, which I really liked, but I was in all likelihood overqualified. This was unfortunate.”
Overqualified, eh? Is Cornell that bad??
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:00 pm
lmfao the overqualified kid is great.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:18 pm
So, how did someone get into Columbia with a 1650? Seriously.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Ugh, competitive kids. I hate it when people feel the need to broadcast their achievements. It just makes them look insecure and annoying… which they probably are. Hopefully they’ll grow out of it. As fast as possible.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:26 pm
It’s all a crapshoot anyway. There are more qualified kids than there are spaces, and (if my suspicions are right) a lot of kind of/vaguely qualified kids applying alongside the legit ones. Barring legacies, you can’t really predict where you’re going to get in or not get in.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:30 pm
so when do we start mocking each other’s schools?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I love the moment when these kids realize that there are tons of people at their respective schools who can do everything and do it better than they ever could.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Meh. Replace SAT scores with signing bonuses and leadership positions with i-banking internships and those quotes are essentially the same douchebaggery you’ll hear walking through the hallowed halls of this bastion of privilege on any given Tuesday. The Ivy League is full of self-obsessed little shits. These kids just haven’t had the innocence keg-standed/date raped out of them yet.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:52 pm
there are totally more qualified kids then spaces.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Fucking classic.
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:36 pm
@Penn ‘08
Perfect. Anyone here who denies that Ivy Leaguers are a bunch of pricks has looked around lately.
On our Days On Campus (CU admitted student stuff) a few weeks ago I was carrying a 30 of Keystone across campus to my suite for no reason other than we had no beer in our fridge. A pre-frosh and his freshman escort scoffed and loudly exclaimed how they couldn’t understand how anyone could enjoy cheap, garbage beer.
Of course having my taste in alcohol mocked by two 18 year-olds was too much for me so I went home crying. Crying that these kids are/will be part of Columbia that is.
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:59 pm
I’ve never been more proud of Cornell than I am right now.
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:31 pm
The only thing worse than being a douchebag pre-frosh is being a college student who joins other Facebook groups (in which they do not “belong”) just so they can write a half-ass article and put others down.
Suck it.
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:33 pm
The only thing worse than being a douchebag pre-frosh is being a college student who joins other Facebook groups (in which they do not “belong”) just so they can write a half-ass article and put others down.
Suck it.
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:39 pm
The Full IB kid wouldn’t know his score yet, so he’s relying on his predicted score (bullshit) or just lying.
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:43 pm
i guarantee that that 1650 is a minority
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Oh fuck that noise, my little brother and his friends have those douchebag high school “bro” parties all the time. I hate all of those incoming freshman bastards.
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:57 pm
NO the blackwater turd squeezed into his team eric prince sodomy t-shirt takes the prize as douchebag of the day, D.O. D. hey like my book title. I mentioned they dropped c.s. gas on their own troops and he went ” bellyistic “, it’s a cross between ballistic, bellicose and big belly couldn’t move fast if his life depended on it, bellyistic. How are you satan worshippers today ? Did you take your usual daily satanic run by the obstetrical ward and look over particularly vulnerable and innocent babies to vet for torture ? extraordinary rendition ?
Apophis, Apophis, Apophis boo !
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Nope, he’s a white kid who appears to be “tough”, or at least his facebook profile picture wants us to think so.
But honestly – a 25 and into Columbia? What is the world coming to?
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:39 pm
So you can get into Columbia with a 1650? Jesus, looks like my little cousin does have a chance, I guess I can stop telling her to seriously consider Barnard.
…Although I don’t know who’s smarter the person who gets into Barnard and has a life or the person who kills themself for the sake of having CC in their diploma.
Anyway keep up the entertainment
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Cornellians are too busy figuring out who they are gonna get it on with once they get to Ithaca to worry about SAT Penis Size contests.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:36 pm
A 25/1650 combo is even better. It makes it crystal clear that the performance was neither the test nor a ‘bad day’. Either the kid’s a way underrepresented minority (gay black eskimo?) or the family gave big bucks recently/bigger bucks historically. You can’t chug enough cock to get in with those scores — except at Duke.
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Well, he might be gay and black:
http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v222/1332/77/n579911931_9525.jpg
April 22nd, 2008 at 10:28 pm
So, so true CU2010…in college all that shit doesn’t really matter unless your IB 6 or 7’s or AP 4 or 5’s get you out of foreign lang. requirement, advanced standing, or into higher level classes. And to the especially douchey Columbia kids: 5 APs?! Hahaha…I know it was three yrs ago, but I did 9 APs over three yrs in h.s. with the full IB program with HL Math and History bitches! (Count ‘em-17 exams total, not to mention all the SATII bullshit). Seriously kids, get over yourselves…your college will tear you a new one either way. Just be thankful you don’t have to deal with grade deflation like us here at Pton.
April 22nd, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Sorry peeps, but my above post had to be said to make the little Columbia ‘12 shits understand most everyone is qualified to get into the Ivy if they’re not smug bastards..and for the record I take offense to the minority remarks. I’m African American and don’t think race figures into the acceptance equation as heavily as we all like to think…I dunno
April 22nd, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Yeah… AP exams were useful for me so I didn’t have to take a lot of freshman bullshit. It lightened the course load so that I could take one less class in a really hard semester. But that shit is all on the margin. And if you’re a marginal intellect, such as I am, then that shit is helpful in terms of making your life a little easier. If you’re a genius then this shit is all irrelevant. None of these kids on face book probably fall into the genius category which is why you get this dick measuring contest, the inane flailing of the insecure mind trying to come to terms with the fact the hand of providence has temporarily lifted them from the rubbish heap of history.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Yeah, stupid prefrosh shits. Can’t believe they’d brag about scores and APs and stuff, especially in comparison to others- that’s TOTALLY a douchebag move. 17 exams? BITCHIN, dude.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Nobody cares where you go to college. It’s a bachelor’s degree, fer chrissakes. Also, corporate recruitment is like a bad, high-maintenance girlfriend. They’ll take anybody with a pulse who’s stupid enough and has low enough self-esteem to be willingly overworked 80 hours a week and then dumped after a year.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:51 pm
wow, props to Cornell for rejecting that little douche. if only all of our admissions offices had been so wise
April 23rd, 2008 at 12:48 am
several points. one, this entire thing looks ridiculous. two, all these kids are assholes. three, they put up those posts months ago, and there is no indication they did or did not get in. third, speculating about all these scores and grades and making fun of cornell once again highlights the fact that ivy league schools have no filter for arrogance, ignorance, or generally douchery.
April 23rd, 2008 at 12:58 am
@CC11:
Oh no, the Ivy League schools definitely do have a filter for arrogance, ignorance, and douchebaggery. Actually, it’s more of a “funnel” than a “filter”
April 23rd, 2008 at 1:38 am
Wow, am I the only one who has no idea what these SAT scores mean? :-p Like, I know they replaced the 1600 scale with a 2400 one, but I have no context for these scores whatsoever. I have no idea what’s a good score anymore.
April 23rd, 2008 at 1:46 am
A 1650 in the new scale is generally equivalent to getting 550 on each part of the exam. Each individual section is still graded out of 800, so a 550 is… not really up to what I thought Ivy League standards were. We can give the kid the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s good in one/two subjects and sucks in another, perhaps, or that he just sucks at test taking in general, but it’s still not a very good score.
April 23rd, 2008 at 2:02 am
A simple application of % of total possible score would also suffice as an evaluation criteria. Though lord only knows how they grade the essays on that thing.
April 23rd, 2008 at 2:04 am
A simple application of % of total possible score would also suffice as an evaluation criteria. Though lord only knows how they grade the essays on that thing. Lets just assume he had some great recommendations and essays about how he wants to be President of the World Bank and eliminate poverty or some such nonsense.
April 23rd, 2008 at 4:19 am
Columbia has extremely fucked up admissions. There is a ridiculous amount of clearly under-qualified students here, simply because they fit into a weird niche.
April 23rd, 2008 at 4:43 am
ivygate, you made me love you again. i live for these posts. and thank god none of them are future cornellians.
April 23rd, 2008 at 7:10 am
Yes, there *is* a number of ridiculously under qualified students at Columbia
April 23rd, 2008 at 9:46 am
Do any 2012s want to smear period blood on a canvas with me? I will probably be repeating my senior year at this point…
April 23rd, 2008 at 9:53 am
Could someone explain this new SAT scoring system to me? When I first read “1650″ in that garbage post I thought the kid was being funny, since the test used to be out of 1650. But judging by the rest of that kid’s “achievements,” and by the horrific grammar, I’m thinking that’s gotta be a pretty low score?
April 23rd, 2008 at 9:57 am
And by out of 1650, I meant out of 1600.
April 23rd, 2008 at 9:59 am
And by out of 1650, I meant out of 1600.
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:04 am
Do any 2012s want to smear period blood on a canvas with me? I will probably be repeating my senior year at this point…
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:09 am
It’s out of 2400. 800 for each part. Writing, Verbal and Math. Writing is essentially the old writing SAT II. They switched it my year, so… that would be 2005-2006.
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:09 am
I find your grammatical constructions intriguing.
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:15 am
That’s ok, these kids will be the ones holed up in the weenie bins (study carrels) all the time, so y’all wont see them anyway…
April 23rd, 2008 at 11:35 am
Sorry if the “gay black eskimo” offended. You are right: 1650 and a 25 are WAY out there. He must have serious family cash or cachet to have gotten in. Maybe he’ll be President someday.
@CC11: Thank you for defending my dear Cornell, but no worries. Cornell looks smart for rejecting an asshat whose qualifications were not mitigating enough. Nobody here seems to think otherwise.
April 23rd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
are we being a little harsh here? a very small percentage of all the kids in the group are posting their scores. also, its a topic of common ground among people who have nothing in common except that they’re off to the same school.
April 23rd, 2008 at 3:55 pm
are we being a little harsh here? a very small percentage of all the kids in the group are posting their scores. also, its a topic of common ground among people who have nothing in common except that they’re off to the same school.
April 23rd, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Are you implying that the “is” is incorrect? “Amount” is a singular noun. Therefore, the “is” is correct. Perhaps your confusion arose from the fact that “amount” is a collective noun. However, I am willing to forgive your ignorance.
April 23rd, 2008 at 5:50 pm
shut the fuck up, stop prating about syntax and understand that asterisks are often used to emphasize words on the internets, n00b.
April 23rd, 2008 at 6:43 pm
nobody straight guy uses the word “n00b”, you virgin dipshit.
April 23rd, 2008 at 7:06 pm
does ‘nobody straight guy’ have it trademarked, grammar geek?
April 23rd, 2008 at 7:14 pm
“nobody straight guy” also has the phrase “grammar geek” trademark
April 23rd, 2008 at 8:13 pm
If only you could appreciate the beauty of grammar, I am sure you would be less angry.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
I promise, we Ivy prefrosh are not all total asshats.
Although I’ll admit I didn’t pick up on Yalies’ propensity towards douchebaggery until BDD. I was a little disappointed and disenchanted, but once I found the nerdy and passionate (read: not name-whores) kids, I was all set.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
prefrosh…who were you hanging out w/ at BDD lol? I know very very few name-whores here…they all go to Harvard :-)
April 26th, 2008 at 1:50 am
man, fuck high school…i’m still amazed that i actually hear people in my classes complaining about B+’s on papers. as far as i’m concerned, the bullshit doesn’t end once you get here. your methods of measuring the bullshit just change from sat scores to unrealistically high expectations on papers and exams. honestly, are we gonna squirt some over a B+ at one of the most competitive schools in the country? i’m sure it’s the same at the other ivies too. i say we’re all just fortunate to be here, you know?
April 30th, 2008 at 9:02 am
It’s funny hearing you college pukes making fun of high school students bragging about their accomplishments while doing the same. In 10 years, no one is going to give a crap about your grades, let alone your degree. Once you realize this, you can go cry into a bag of your parents’ money.
May 2nd, 2008 at 8:05 pm
You’re absolutely right ! Ivygate is like a freaking intellectual ghetto !
May 3rd, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Yeah, pre-froshers aren’t mitigating the terrible douchebag reputation. Notice the “I chose yale over…” thread? There was this one girl on the Yale admits site who was “insulted that Harvard waitlisted her.”
Andddd this is why BDD sucked.
May 3rd, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Yeah, pre-froshers aren’t mitigating the terrible douchebag reputation. Notice the “I chose yale over…” thread? There was this one girl on the Yale admits site who was “insulted that Harvard waitlisted her.”
Andddd this is why BDD sucked.
May 3rd, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Yeah, pre-froshers aren’t mitigating the terrible douchebag reputation. Notice the “I chose yale over…” thread? There was this one girl on the Yale admits site who was “insulted that Harvard waitlisted her.”
Andddd this is why BDD sucked.
May 3rd, 2008 at 7:29 pm
No. BDD sucked because the university has been cracking down on alcohol use during it–my year, pre-new CT drinking laws and pre-semi-aggressive admin, it was one giant shit show.
May 3rd, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Yeah, pre-froshers aren’t mitigating the terrible douchebag reputation. Notice the “I chose yale over…” thread? There was this one girl on the Yale admits site who was “insulted that Harvard waitlisted her.”
Andddd this is why BDD sucked.
May 6th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
HAHAHAHA! This is the funniest post ever. God, I am NEVER having kids.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
The author of this article conveniently forgot to mention that the person who commented on beer’s weird taste and appearence was explaining that she doesn’t really enjoy drinking in general, and that “overqualified for cornell” was subsequently lambasted and called a wanker, which seemed to be the general consensus in the group. It seems rediculous to condemn ivy prefrosh as being obnoxious on the basis of several of thousands of posts.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
The author of this article conveniently forgot to mention that the person who commented on beer’s weird taste and appearence was explaining that she doesn’t really enjoy drinking in general, and that “overqualified for cornell” was subsequently lambasted and called a wanker, which seemed to be the general consensus in the group. It seems rediculous to condemn ivy prefrosh as being obnoxious on the basis of several of thousands of posts.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
The author of this article conveniently forgot to mention that the person who commented on beer’s weird taste and appearence was explaining that she doesn’t really enjoy drinking in general, and that “overqualified for cornell” was subsequently lambasted and called a wanker, which seemed to be the general consensus in the group. It seems rediculous to condemn ivy prefrosh as being obnoxious on the basis of several of thousands of posts.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
You cannot spell the words “appearance” and “ridiculous”. Your first sentence is an insane run-on. Your prose is bloated too.
Here is your summer assignment, Squirtle: Read Hemingway. Note how he packs so much into so few words. Strive to do likewise, even in piffle blog comments.
And stay the fuck away from Faulkner. You can read him again after your writing tightens up.
May 7th, 2008 at 1:21 am
I apologize for my egregious prose and my inability to spell. I was under the mistaken impression that these comments were casual in nature, but I should have shown a higher level of respect for the English language.
May 7th, 2008 at 1:24 am
I apologize for my egregious prose and my inability to spell. I was under the mistaken impression that these comments were casual in nature, but I should have shown a higher level of respect for the English language.
May 7th, 2008 at 1:29 am
And I further apologize for my repeated posts. It appears that I’m not computer literate either. :-(.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
for the record columbia kids have always been tools…i know a girl going to columbia who said she got rejected from BC because they knew she wouldn’t go there anyway. i was ECSTATIC when i got denied by harvard, who the fuck wants to spend four miserable years with tools who think they are “overqualified” for cornell? tools.
May 9th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Pre-frosh totally suck. I’m sure I suck and suck too much to realize it.
The instant we realize that high school was just a drop in the pond and none of it really matters, we’ll be all set to be pre-professional douchebags in college too.
May 9th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
after reading this, i can’t understand why anyone would ever want to go to an ivy league given the attitudes of pre and post frosh. or how ivy leagues are ranked so highly in academic listings- surely the toxic social atmosphere would push these schools to the bottom of the list of places to spend -and even enjoy?- four years.
May 9th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Do you really think that these selected 5-10 are representative of the thousands of kids at these institutions? This author clearly chose a few posts to improve a point and ignored the fact that most students are not like that and how the few annoying people with these attitudes can be found at most schools. This article really is some trash and if it has any worth, it lies in the attempted humor. Not any aspect of truth.
May 10th, 2008 at 6:26 am
I’m a Princeton pre-frosh, and though there are some complete brats in the group on facebook, the majority of the people I have spoken to are friendly, enthusiastic, and not potheads.
May 10th, 2008 at 9:50 am
yeah, not only did the author select the worst facebook posts, but the kid who was talking about how he was overqualified was KIDDIING. HE WANTED TO SEE HOW PISSED OFF PEOPLE WOULD GET. And if you read the actual thread on the facebook page, you’ll see that he succeeded and is probably still laughing at how seriously people take themselves.
On that note, I do admit that some of the people in the Ivy league groups are full-blown retards. Socially, of course.
May 10th, 2008 at 9:53 am
yeah, not only did the author select the worst facebook posts, but the kid who was talking about how he was overqualified was KIDDIING. HE WANTED TO SEE HOW PISSED OFF PEOPLE WOULD GET. And if you read the actual thread on the facebook page, you’ll see that he succeeded and is probably still laughing at how seriously people take themselves.
On that note, I do admit that some of the people in the Ivy league groups are full-blown retards. Socially, of course.
May 10th, 2008 at 9:54 am
yeah, not only did the author select the worst facebook posts, but the kid who was talking about how he was overqualified was KIDDIING. HE WANTED TO SEE HOW PISSED OFF PEOPLE WOULD GET. And if you read the actual thread on the facebook page, you’ll see that he succeeded and is probably still laughing at how seriously people take themselves.
On that note, I do admit that some of the people in the Ivy league groups are full-blown retards. Socially, of course.
May 11th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
If anybody thinks for a second that the only douchebags that exist are in the Ivy Leagues, they are kidding themselves. Like ANY place else in the world, there are both wonderful and not so wonderful people in every college. If you are going to look at this post and say, “ALLL PREFROSH ARE DRUNKEN TARDS,” then you might want to visit an Ivy College yourself instead of believing everything a blog (and a funny blog! One that I don’t think takes itself too seriously!) says. Just to be fair, I have been accepted to an Ivy League and I don’t do drugs, I’m not promiscuous, I don’t even drink OR drive, and I’d like to think that I got into Brown University for more than my GPA or SAT scores (which I don’t even consider to be “Ivy League” scores anyway, whatever that means.) Sorry for sounding bitter, but I strongly dislike unfair overgeneralizations. Discrimation against race, age, sex, or SCHOOL is really immature…
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