Daily Penn Endorses Hillary for President; IvyGate Endorses Penn State to Take Penn’s Place in Ivy League
What's this? A college newspaper endorsing Hillary Clinton? Over-educated youth voters that don't want Barack Obama to be their new bicycle? Did they not see the video of the hot girl jiggling her breasts at the Illinois senator? Did they miss the memo about Will.I.Am? As upwardly-mobile 18- to 22-year-olds, Penn, it is your utmost stereotypic duty to endorse the handsome Columbia grad with the baritone voice, not the angry Wellesley lady with the funny-uncle husband!
Clinton's camp was so excited to have the support of a single person under the age of 60, they penned a "MUST READ" press release about it. DP's ed board writes,
Obama's charisma far outshines Hillary's... But choosing the president of the United States is too important a decision to make based on hope alone. After finishing his term in the Senate and better showing us what he can do for the American people, Obama could one day be a remarkable president.
Is this a "pay your dues" argument? The whole point of being an entitled 21C Ivy Leaguer is not paying your dues: You either invent a website and make a billion bucks in a week, or you shuffle lazily through uninspiring office jobs and whine about underutilization. Don't worry, it's nothing that can't be cured with a little Ritalin.
Clinging to their guns in economically depressed North West Philly, it is not surprising that Penn has grown bitter. Nonetheless, they have broken the sacred covenant of Ivory Tower Elitism, and for that, Penn is hereby voted off Ivy Island. We endorse Penn State to take their place. When you squint, the names are almost the same, and outsiders are always mixing the two up, anyway. It'll be just like "The Parent Trap," but with elaborate mascots and no Lindsay Lohan remake.
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April 17th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Maureen, I am beginning to thin that you hate our generation.
April 17th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
it is actually west philly
April 17th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Wow…I can’t believe that we just did this; some great quotes in the post though. And, yes I know that I’m a lowly prefrosh, so I am fully prepared for the zillions of comments about that coming next…
April 17th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Maureen…I don’t even understand what you’re mad about.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
The DP endorsed hillary just because the Penn Dems endorsed Obama, and Penn For Hillary threw a bitch fit. Besides, the DP is not taken seriously on campus, as they get their facts wrong 85% of the time. Not that any of this will matter when McCain is elected in November…
April 17th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I love our generation! I happen to be very talented at lazy shuffling. I’m also not mad. It’s not my fault I have a naturally pissed-off typing voice.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
WTF? Penn is in West Philly, not North Philly. Get it right, Moe.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Penn State? That would mean another rural university in the league. No, we need a secular, private, urban university in a sketchy part of town. But this time we’ll do it right: one that doesn’t produce Wharton-like asshats. That eliminates Georgetown, Annapolis (USNA), and Duke leaving only Johns Hopkins. And: the two Penns can merge, ending the confusion.
April 18th, 2008 at 2:20 am
Imagine that! A group of well-educated youngsters endorsing, out of the two candidates with essentially identical voting records, the one whose campaigning has tirelessly focused on the minutia of policy rather than overblown, hollow speeches about abstract concepts of hope and change. It’s almost as if rather than relying on popular sentiment and general affability, the DP based their judgment on a reasoned and deliberative consideration of political histories and agendas.
And penn’12, prefrosh or not, “we” didn’t do anything. We–as in the actual staff of the DP–are independent from your future university, and unless you work for us and attend our painfully long endorsement meetings, our decisions don’t personally reflect on you in any way.
April 18th, 2008 at 3:59 am
Must read: Joke of a newspaper endorses joke of a candidate.
April 18th, 2008 at 8:30 am
HAhaha, awesome.
@Penn08 what why do we need another secular, private, urban university in a sketchy part of town? Yale and Columbia aren’t enough for you?
Hopkins isnt even in PA. MD is clearly too small a state to handle an Ivy (witness the disaster that is Brown). I suggest a nice suburban entry like Lehigh.
April 18th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Lehigh!? Yuck.
How about McGill?
April 18th, 2008 at 10:04 am
NO CANADIANS!
April 18th, 2008 at 11:27 am
If you’ve ever actually been to Columbia, you’d know it’s far from a sketchy part of town.
And Ezra, I don’t know what Annapolis you went to, but it is far from a urban. JH is a good school that is in a city almost as down-trodden as New Haven, so I like the choice.
April 18th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I don’t think JHU would want to become Division I. Asides from their lax team, Barnard girls are more athletic than the JHU student body.
And athletics is really the only reason why any of us are talking to each other. You think I want to voluntarily associate myself with pompous Yalie assholes?
April 18th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
think about it… when you say “michigan,” you thing u of michigan, not michigan state. when you say “florida,” you think u of florida, not florida state. when you say “arizona,” you think u of arizona, not arizona state. so why the fuck do all these dumb-asses think penn state when someone says, “penn?” penn = u of pennsylvania. why can’t they wrap their brains around the simple pattern?
April 18th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
and before anyone else says,”you’re the dumb-ass,” i see the spelling error.
April 18th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Uh… because the only other private university named after the state it is located in is the similarly over-rated NYU? Whereas tons of public universities are named after the state they are located in?
On the flip side of things, most people probably think Rutgers and Clemson are private schools.
April 18th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Someone from Cornell calling Penn (and NYU) overrated?
Hah!
April 18th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Not to start THIS debate up again, but Yale is in a very good part of New Haven (aka downtown). Every city has its shitty portions, and if you want to compare those in New York to those in New Haven… well, you lose. If you’ve visited in the last couple of years, you’d know that. If not, you’re buying into an old stereotype that was very applicable in the 90s- but no longer.
April 18th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
New Haven is a dangerous shit-hole. Downtown is prowled by bums and infested with street crime. Not as bad as surrounding nabes, but fuck, it’s worse than East New York, let alone Morningside Heights. And safety in New Haven has deteriorated since the 90s
April 18th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
@New Haven
That’s just false. I love New Haven, and safety has gotten much better here. You really really don’t know what you are talking about.
April 19th, 2008 at 1:32 am
Nobody hearts New Haven.
Or Milhouse.
April 19th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Oh, come on! Everyone has that I Heart New Haven t-shirt they got on the city tour during orientation!
April 19th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Penn outside of Wharton is no better than Dartmouth, Brown, Northwestern, Duke, Chicago, and yes, Cornell.
And Wharton is just an over-glorified trade school full of wankers.
April 19th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
I know USNA is not urban; same for Dook IMHO. Hence their elimination. Definitely no Canadians. And who cares how well sports teams play? Are many Ivy teams D-I on merit? No. So JHU it is. Penn: Pack up your shit and move out, pronto. And take all those Wharton assholes with you!
April 19th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Ezra, what did Canadians ever do to you?
April 20th, 2008 at 1:01 am
New Haven County (i.e. East Haven, Guilford etc.) improved in the 90s then deteriorated in 2000s. Metro New Haven remains a dangerous shit-hole:
Some quotes:
AP “In New Haven, Conn., there were 23 homicides as of Tuesday, compared with 15 in 2004 and in 2005. Police Chief Francisco Ortiz said that about half of this year’s killings involve young people settling disputes with guns instead of fists.” That’s from 2006… In 2007 there were 41 reported…
Crime Stats
ersonal crime risk
(100 is nat’l average; lower is better) 324
Property crime risk
(100 is nat’l average; lower is better) 256
Personal crime incidents (per 100,000) 275
Property crime incidents (per 100,000) 3,105
YDN – There were 408 burglaries between January and March of this year, compared to just 311 during that same period last year — a 31 percent increase. (April 6, 2008)
April 20th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Penn WITH Wharton is no better than Dartmouth, Brown, Northwestern, Duke, Chicago, and yes, Cornell.
Penn without Wharton is just… sad.
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
You all just wish you went to school in Hanover, NH. hah!! People drive for hours just to see the amount of natural beauty a Dartmouth student sees while squinting!
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
You all just wish you went to school in Hanover, NH. hah!! People drive for hours just to see the amount of natural beauty a Dartmouth student sees while squinting!
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Ivy Gate is just bitter that they couldn’t figure out who was headlining Fling, even though it was the worst kept secret on campus.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Penn was ranked 5th in the most recent US News poll. It was placed above most other Ivies
March 22nd, 2009 at 3:02 pm
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