Columbia Sex Blogger Would Like You To Know He Is Hung Like a Horse
The world works in mysterious ways: Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes bad people are really pretty. And sometimes that guy who hits on all the girls at the bar, the one who uses phrases like "my mojo" and "the sweet spot" and "When it Rains, It Whores," actually has a big dick. Quoth Spec's sex blogger, The Big Bad Wolf:
I've always been told I have a huge cock. When I was 14, my first girlfriend to engage in heavy petting started a rumor that must have helped me to get quite a few handjobs in high school. She told everyone I was enormous.
A 14-year-old girl's expertise on male anatomy. Unassailable.
Wolfie is theoretically anonymous, but seeing how Commentariat's "author" pages use suffixes featuring the author's first initial and last name, and seeing how the Wolf's author page uses the suffix "/cchima," we're guessing the Big Bad Penis belongs to this guy. And if it doesn't, some poor kid named Chikodi is going to be pissed that the world now thinks he masturbates chronically.
More on The Big Bad Wolf's penis after the jump!
You might be wondering how big the Bad Wolf is, but I won't say. It's more than enough to make Red Riding Hood give a Li'l Bo Peep, but it's no Puff The Magic Dragon. In any case it's definitely an issue for me because so few sexual partners can't keep up with my libido without getting physically worn out. After one to two rounds, all but the most resilient and naturally-lubed lassies are sore and ready to give up. This weekend I told a young lady I could go two or three times more, but she put her clothes on after one round. If I had the patience and was willing to devote the necessary time to foreplay this issue might not arise. In New York City, who has that kind of time?
This is particularly poignant when juxtaposed with a column entitled "50 First Dates":
For the insatiably hot and horny, getting laid is as easy as shooting fish in a barrel: just keep lowering your standards until you end up in bed with somebody.
Should Wolf care to stake his reputation on his claim to a weapon of mass seduction, we propose sending Lena Chen on a fact-finding mission. We hear she and Jenna B. will be in New York this weekend. What better way to celebrate than an inter-Ivy dick-measuring contest? A literal one!
UPDATE: Whoa, touchy. Commentariat pulled everything we linked to, except the author page. (We try to back up sources, but seriously, every single post? No, I did not save them all.) Commentariat is a branch of the Spectator, which takes itself pretty seriously, so altering the record is a bold move.
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April 3rd, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Just printing his name in full so Google can do its magic…
Chikodi Chima
April 3rd, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Screw you, IvyGate. I celebrate Commentariat. Talk about a well-done college blog. I welcome this man and his giant donger.
April 3rd, 2008 at 8:42 pm
links are not working by the by
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:04 pm
There are other search engines besides Google:
For the chronic masturbation one:
[http://cc.msnscache.com/cache.aspx?q=72938131649867&mkt=en-US&lang=en-US&w=79de0026&FORM=CVRE2]
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:56 pm
i think commentariat might’ve dumped the ding-dong’s post… hopefully you saved the full copy
April 4th, 2008 at 1:02 am
The Commentariat deletes a shitload of posts. It’s not everyone — some of the admins are really awesome. But it only takes one to hit the delete button. It’s really annoying.
April 4th, 2008 at 3:28 am
Nice find, IvyGate! I’ve long suspected BBW was a creepy old GS guy, but it’s nice to have confirmation.
Commentariat, as a wing of Spec, carries that same “old media” bitterness. The haterade has been flowing at Broadway and 111th ever since they realized Bwog, and later IvyGate, could eat their lunch with impunity. Spec’s hands were tied by the rules of print journalism that they try to uphold, so their writing, particularly that of the higher-ups, tends to be infused with what Nietzsche called “the hatred of impotence.”
Commentariat is run by Armin Rosen, who is on record as a Bwog and IvyGate hater (he left Bwog for Commentariat). I’m betting he pulled the articles, and is foaming about getting bested by those darn interbloggers again.
April 4th, 2008 at 4:03 am
Ivygate, you are fucked up. it’s pretty sad that you so pander to the elitist awkward self-hating ivy league population that you feel the need to break down everyone instead of building a community by which we can all hate on our whack administrations but respect each other.
Good job outing someone who wasn’t hurting anyone with their anonymity– you should feel really proud!! Sleep easy.
April 4th, 2008 at 7:05 am
Microsoft is not evil:
[http://search.msn.com/results.aspx?q=site%3Aspecblogs.com+wolf&go=&form=QBRE]
April 4th, 2008 at 7:13 am
IvyGate Rules.
April 4th, 2008 at 9:57 am
CC09, shut your whiny face. You sleep easy thinking that ’someone’ matches up with ‘their’.
Ivygate, keep the haterade flowing!
April 4th, 2008 at 11:21 am
@Reader– I have no idea what goes on at 111th and Broadway, but at 112th, where Spectator is actually located, people are grown-up enough to recognize that blogs and print dailies are two different media with different strengths and weaknesses. Oh noes! Bwog is great– it’s speedy, incisive, and fun. Spec is great– is has in-depth coverage and professional relationships that are aided by community members’ trust in its “old world” standards. Ivygate doesn’t really enter the conversation, although the lolcat!Niko was pretty funny.
April 4th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
I just want to say, I love bwog.
April 4th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Spec sucks.
April 4th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Very insightful, CC’11. Got any other turds of wisdom to share?
April 4th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
What’s with the hate everyone? SpecBlogs have come quite a long way. Unfortunately, the anominimity of one of our bloggers was compromised. But I think the bigger question is, are you all afraid of a bit of real competition in the ivy league blogosphere?
April 4th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
It isn’t the size of the ship, it’s the motion of the ocean.
April 4th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
I’m surprised no one has mentioned that this guy basically admits he’s awful in bed!! No girl would “put her clothes on after round one” if the guy were getting her off!! Not an issue of the woman’s lube or stamina, but an issue of whether the man is a competent lover. Sounds like Chima treats sex like a handjob… and I bet those high school girls weren’t getting anything in return, either! No wonder there were so many of them, they must have all moved on…
April 4th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Re: Lee. Still, a paddleboat doesn’t have much of a chance against a hurricane. Talk about mixing your metaphors.
April 4th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
They probably deleted it because “black guy has big dick” isn’t news. We all know they have bigger dicks and we’re all jealous.
April 5th, 2008 at 4:27 am
Even worse with Chikodi being the Senior Class President of a pathetic GS Student Council. I can’t believe he’d write for Splog, as the sex blogger, while holding a high title as a student representative. Looks like this could very well stick with him for a long time… not to suggest that many of us didn’t see this coming with his nonsense. Guess everything catches up with you in time.
April 5th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Wait, is the vajay the hurricane??
But seriously, much better small and dedicated than big and boring.
Also @ Columbia 08 – not always, man, not always.
April 9th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Its a myth that black guys have bigger penises… been there done that, so not true!
I think it’s great that not only was he found out as a ridiculous sex blogger but he also was removed from his position on the judicial committee in the same week! I guess the dick really hit the fan! LMAO
April 9th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
In his blogs he admits that he secretly wanted to be outed… please with those claims? He definitely wanted to be outed! Big Red is right! If he knew how to please a woman she wouldn’t be putting on her clothes after the first try, trust me! Liar liar wolfs on fire!