Adventures in Drunken Liveblogging: Princeton Newman’s Day
Members of the class of 2012 will be disgusted to hear that - surprise! - beer is a rather popular beverage at college. With every school comes a small array of depraved beer-chugging traditions. At Princeton, we use the name of a guy whose son died from substance abuse as shorthand for a substance-abusing holiday known as "Newman's Day," said to originate from a line frat boys everywhere only wish could be attributed to Paul Newman:
24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not.
Obviously, the appropriate day for investigating this claim is 4/24, tomorrow.
Naming scandal aside, Newman's Day represents a unique opportunity in the annals of collegiate drunk-hood. What would actually happen if you drank perpetually, 24 hours a day? (Alternately: What would it be like to go to Dartmouth?) Would you become a literary genius, like famed writer-drunks of yore? Would you be able to function at all? Resident dude-bros Mike and Will (spring semester seniors, post-thesis, of legal age and armed with two cases of Yuengling, a breathalyzer, laptop computers, and several digital recording devices) will be taking the beer-by-the-hour challenge and sloppily typing their findings here. Check in periodically for updates on the progress of their inebriation, featuring drunken class attendance, participation in a dodgeball tournament, a guide to the most scenic of beer-slamming Princeton locations and a whirlwind tour of the eating clubs in the evening. Says Mike,
Will and I are not alcoholics. We're journalists for a day. And that day happens to involve a lot of drinking.
After the jump: Brothers of the brewski introduce themselves, explain the rules of the game.
Mike writes:
Will and I are not alcoholics. We're journalists for a day. And that day happens to involve a lot of drinking.
Before we get to the rules for the day, we'd like to give you a brief personal background beyond the simple tautology that Peter Gabriel changed our lives.
We have known each other since the first week of freshman year, and since that day have wondered what it would be like to tank 24 beers in 24 hours. Not in frats, we never experienced enough peer pressure to stop procrastinating with school work and to get down to the serious work involved in marathon binge drinking.
But we've turned in our theses, applied to jobs and grad schools, and we no longer have an excuse. Now it is time to follow the Cash Money Motto, which is 'Drink 'til we throw up [for journalism]'.
Only, not exactly, and here's where the regulations of Newman's Day come into play:
1. Participant must attend all scheduled classes and required events
2. Participant must not nap or otherwise fall into an unconscious state after initiating drinking on said day.
3. Participant must not vomit.These are the rules of the day, and though you cannot dust for vomit, as Princeton students we are obliged to follow them honestly under the only institution that is more venerated at Princeton than binge drinking: the Honor Code.
Mike is not subject to Rule 1, but Will has a 3-hour seminar he will be sending updates from independently while visiting the bathroom to shotgun brew-dogs. In order to make the Herculean task less formidable, we will be getting up to start the day at 5 a.m. tomorrow, which will complicate our observance of Rule 2. Finally, we will participate in the university-wide annual dodge ball tournament, an event surely to turn our stomachs and make Rule 3 a bit more difficult.
Stay tuned throughout the day. We've been assured by the Ivy Gate editors that they will faithfully update our dispatches from inebriation, which we will make roughly every two hours (with a BAC number included!).
Yours Boozily,
Mike and Will
I AM PAUL NEWMAN AND I DO NOT APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. THIS IS AN IDIOTIC IDEA AND IT IS UNCONSCIONABLE THAT MY NAME HAS BEEN ATTACHED TO THIS UNSAFE AND IMMODERATE EVENT.
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April 23rd, 2008 at 6:42 pm
alright, i’m ready for this. let the games begin. additionally the princeton article which reads “for newman’s day, all eyes on princeton” has to be the douchiest or most hilarious headline ever. maybe both.
April 23rd, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Lame. Play 6 games of tree you’d be there in an eighth of the time.
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:00 pm
lame
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Okay, post a link to your blogging of a better, stupider form of marathon binge drinking from Dartmouth.
Quantity is only half the battle here– fatigue and getting through classes is the other half. Until then, have fun in Hanover.
April 24th, 2008 at 4:10 am
…and we’re on.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:10 am
at dartmouth, such an event would not be worth mention. it just kinda happens.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:12 am
at dartmouth, such an event would not be worth mention. it just kinda happens.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:14 am
at dartmouth, such an event would not be worth mention. it just kinda happens.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:17 am
are you trying to tell me that it’s harder to drink slow than to drink fast? because of fatigue?
you must be kidding.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:22 am
look, if you drank a beer an hour, you wouldn’t even get a buzz, because that’s about the speed the body metabolizes it.
this is the pussiest shit i’ve ever seen.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:25 am
look, if you drank a beer an hour, you wouldn’t even get a buzz, because that’s about the speed the body metabolizes it.
this is the pussiest shit i’ve ever seen.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:28 am
sorry, i didnt think it was taking those. those were successive edits to best express the same point. sorry about that.
April 24th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Well the deal with Newman’s day is that you can’t change your normal day schedule for it. So, you wake up at the same time as everyday (not 5:30 AM), which is usually around 10. So, you have about 14 hours for 24 beers which isn’t too tough but you can’t get wasted during the day because of classes, so it usually boils down to a lot of beers in the final few hours without the option to take a nap or pull the trigger. The ban on throwing up, especially, makes it much tougher a normal night of heavy drinking
April 24th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Well the deal with Newman’s day is that you can’t change your normal day schedule for it. So, you wake up at the same time as everyday (not 5:30 AM), which is usually around 10. So, you have about 14 hours for 24 beers which isn’t too tough but you can’t get wasted during the day because of classes, so it usually boils down to a lot of beers in the final few hours without the option to take a nap or pull the trigger. The ban on throwing up, especially, makes it much tougher a normal night of heavy drinking
April 24th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
my friend dog did 48 for last yr’s newman’s day… if you want to dial up the intensity there’s always a way.
April 24th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
my friend dog did 48 for last yr’s newman’s day… if you want to dial up the intensity there’s always a way.
April 24th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Listen, jackass, there’s no rule about keeping a normal schedule, beyond accomplishing 24 beers in 24 hours. Also, pussies don’t drink because they’re afraid of being wasted during class. So shut up.
April 24th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I think the Dartmouth kids here really need to relax. You are pretty much living up to your douchebag frat boy stereotype.
Since this is a pussy event compared to what you guys do, try this challenge: 1 keg, 1 man, 1 week. Go.
April 24th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Cool-umbia, you clearly do not understand the concept of binge drinking.