Looks like our frienemy Lena Chen isn’t the only one with ex-boyfriend grad student stalker issues. We now bring you the sad saga of Angela Rasmussen, a Columbia GS, who, in her words, is “tired of Columbia dicking me around and telling me they’re going to handle it, when it has come to my attention that my department’s administrators have been lying to us both to avoid creating a big scene.”

Basically, on her blog, Angela called out a certain fellow—we’ll call him Rex—”for refusing to perform oral sex on her and demanding it for himself nevertheless, insisting his “culture” forbade his going down on her. Saying he went apeshit is a bit of an understatement. Here’s Angie’s account of the story.

We went to my hotel room and proceeded to strip down, when things went awry. Since we didn’t buy any condoms, he refused to have sex with me. I was like, “No problem, we can do other things.”

He responded that on account of his being Jamaican, he doesn’t “do that.” When I established that “that” referred to performing cunnilingus, I informed him that he wasn’t getting a free blow job from me. Actually, I don’t think I specifically said that, but I somehow put the brakes on our hooking up. I am not stingy with the fellatio, but in the words of the inimitable Robert Sylvester Kelly, “I ain’t goin’ down on you if you ain’t goin’ down on me.” Blow jobs are challenging! They really hurt your jaw and you don’t know the meaning of “epic struggle” until you’ve had one with your own gag reflex. Giving a solid blow job is hard work, and I don’t just hand them out to any asshole who wants one, especially someone I might never see again who I don’t know and don’t really care to impress.

After reading the post, Rex – who at this point hadn’t been called out by name – went nuts.

Several days later, [Rex] apparently decided to check out my website, and discovered the entry. He marched right into my lab’s tissue culture room to unleash hell. One minute I was loading mouse cells into a MACS column in the hood, and the next, [Rex] was inches from me screaming, “YOU FUCKING CUNT! HOW DARE YOU SMEAR MY NAME? YOU WHORE, YOU CAN’T FUCK WITH MY CAREER!”

Rex then posted an insane, insane diatribe on Razzy’s blog. Angela then tried to get the Columbia administration to intervene, but to little avail.

After the jump: Rex’s JUICY response.

“Culturally” anti-cunnilingus man then posted on her blog:

As many guys have probably discovered, the only way to find you remotely attractive is to be one beer away from alcohol poisoning. The fact that I never express any interest in you when I’m sober or even only mildly intoxicated should clue you in to this. Those many months ago, I did not so mean that you were “cock-blocking” so much as I meant that you telling everyone here that we “hooked-up” (again mere ounces away from alcohol poisoning), made one person I was interested in feel unvalued because she thought anyone who could find you attractive must not have very high standards. You call what you wrote “calling me on my bullshit,” but its just you once again trying to feed your insatiable need for attention the only way you know how – through dirt. Never mind the questionable veracity and selective storytelling of your account of the past few years, what you did and have been doing is potentially career damaging, and no one deserves that for his/her opinion regarding oral sex. Plenty of things happen in grad school, but no one broadcasts them quite like you do. You may not realize it, but when you go around talking about things like your sex life, and showing everyone your tits, not everyone thinks it’s cute. It is many of these same people who will inevitably become some of your scientific contacts later in life. The higher-ups in our department cannot tell us how to behave outside of lab, but if they found out that you initiated the carryover of those outside events into this department through publicly trying to destroy another students image, they would have something to say about it. What you do with your name is your business. When you start playing around with mine as you did, you are getting dangerously close to libel and I am compelled to respond.

So, the fact is that Jamaican culture does frown on oral sex; even your friends know that. But that’s not why I don’t do it. Jamaican culture does not dictate my life. Truth is I would do it, just not to someone like you – not in a billion, billion years. To anyone else who reads this, as Angie has proven, having too many beers can alter one’s judgment so severely that one almost literally becomes a different person. In fact, as upset as Angie’s blog has made me, I cannot guarantee that if I had too many drinks tonite I would not do something just as stupid as what got me into this whole mess – and that’s a problem. The bad thing about having a high tolerance is that you get stupid before you get sick and instead of passing out, you’re walking around in an alcohol-induced daze.

Following a couple more posts, Rex threatened legal action, hiring a lawyer and drafting a long cease and desist letter and threatening suit for “defamation of character.” You can see the legalistic, Vayner-esque nonsense at Razzy. There’s obviously more back-and-forth, but if you’re that interested you’ll have to look it up yourself.

Here’s a tip, folks: if you have an extremely creepy boyfriend or hook-up, do not blog about him. It will only make things worse.