Is the job market really this bad?

Is the job market really this bad?WARNING: The links in this post are NSFW. Some go to a site you are supposed to be 21 years old to view.

The entire concept of irony bursts into flames and ceases to exist today. If the internets are to be believed, a real live Wharton student is whoring herself out. No, this is not another post about douchebags at McKinsey. Not about the shitty job market, or annoying sex columnists, or degrading internships fetching coffee for rich guys in pinstripe suits. We are talking about a literal prostitute, the kind that charges money for admission to her vagina. And if the so-called Eva and her madame Solana Jewel have anything to say about it, the little hussy goes to Penn:

Eva is a new addition to the Philadelphia scene! A hot Italian spinner! She is currently a finance major at a Ivy League university. I can assure you she is 100% GFE!

Rate is $300/hr, $450/1.5 hrs, $600/2hrs. Couples are $450/hr. Inquire for longer hours. She is also available for outcalls.

Miss Eva and Mama Lana were unavailable for comment (“press request” being outside the standard sex-for-money dialogue). But we are pretty sure the above blonde woman exists. Whether she actually attends Wharton, however, is another story. After the jump: We break down the knowns; the unknowns; and the many things that, in the course of investigating this story, we have come to know but really wish we didn’t.

Come! Enter the sordid world of Prostitution at Penn…

Known: There is an “exotic courtesan” named Eva, who has a “scheduler” named Solana Jewel, who goes on “dates” for money and claims to go to Penn.

Is the job market really this bad?  
Unknown: Unless it’s that other Ivy League university in Philadelphia that hands out degrees in finance! You know… Penn… State?

Wish We Didn’t Know: In this context, “spinning” has nothing to do with stationary bicycles in private gyms. And GFE? Not even close to GPA.

Known: Both YourExoticCourtesan and Eva are known entities in the Phila prostitute scene, and have been reviewed on multiple times on third-party websites. Eva’s even getting rave reviews!
 

Is the job market really this bad?

 
Unknown: The infinite amount of porn emails one would receive upon registering a VIP account at TheEroticReview.com. A VIP account is needed to view the actual content of reviews.

Known: YourExoticCourtesan’s disclaimer explains, “In no way is this Company soliciting for prostitution.”

Known: If I have learned anything from Law & Order: SVU, the above is a lie.

Unknown: Short of coughing up $300 and going undercover as a Wharton dean, we have no way of proving or disproving this story. Despite our best attempts to convince them that this story would play really well in the media (everybody loves a smart, sassy hooker!) Solana Jewel and jewel-of-Wharton Eva declined to comment.

  • wharton@upenn.edu

    It’s obviously Lena Chen who has put on a few pounds and is now sporting a blond wig. We all knew…

  • wharton@upenn.edu

    It’s obviously Lena Chen who has put on a few pounds and is now sporting a blond wig. We all knew…

  • p09

    she has a tattoo of something on her foot (check the pics on the site). that should be unique enough for someone to ID her.

  • p09

    she has a tattoo of something on her foot (check the pics on the site). that should be unique enough for someone to ID her.

  • poisonivylee

    There is no way the young woman in those photos weighs 105 pounds…and I wouldn’t expect anything less from Penn (or Columbia for that matter). And I’m not sure Lena Chen would have to put on weight to have a figure like Eva, the opposite is probably the case.

  • poisonivylee

    There is no way the young woman in those photos weighs 105 pounds…and I wouldn’t expect anything less from Penn (or Columbia for that matter). And I’m not sure Lena Chen would have to put on weight to have a figure like Eva, the opposite is probably the case.

  • h’11

    chen is short. way shorter than eva.

  • h’11

    chen is short. way shorter than eva.

  • dorg

    whore or not, I would fuck this girl so hard you havno idea

  • dorg

    whore or not, I would fuck this girl so hard you havno idea

  • CU03

    Wow, dorg, you might want to stop humping the screen as you type, it’s a little embarrassing. Also, this is IvyGate, not Fleshbot. Just thought you should know.

  • CU03

    Wow, dorg, you might want to stop humping the screen as you type, it’s a little embarrassing. Also, this is IvyGate, not Fleshbot. Just thought you should know.

  • What standards?

    What, like Ivygate is somehow more sophisticated?

  • What standards?

    What, like Ivygate is somehow more sophisticated?

  • CU

    She also has a tatoo on her right thigh…

    http://yourexoticcourtesan.com/images/133.JPG

  • CU

    She also has a tatoo on her right thigh…

    http://yourexoticcourtesan.com/images/133.JPG

  • p09

    Let’s be honest, it is unlikely that this is actually someone in Wharton. It is easy enough to lie online. I’m sure that most prostitutes lie to get in whatever persona is needed for a client. But, if this is true it’s going to be as big as the “Ivy League Grind” story. Sucks for her.

  • p09

    Let’s be honest, it is unlikely that this is actually someone in Wharton. It is easy enough to lie online. I’m sure that most prostitutes lie to get in whatever persona is needed for a client. But, if this is true it’s going to be as big as the “Ivy League Grind” story. Sucks for her.

  • H ’09

    Lena is 1/2 an inch away from midget-dom. She’s stumpy. The Whore-tonite is stumpy too.

  • H ’09

    Lena is 1/2 an inch away from midget-dom. She’s stumpy. The Whore-tonite is stumpy too.

  • christianarchisti

    You sick fucks up to the usual, maintaining the desensitization propcess for the sociopathic re-creation institutionalized infrastructure upgrades. Is this version satan101.666 ? How are the evil little bastards that sack emasculate and cannibalize their own military and homes while the goal is to defile their own team alpha male superior counterparts off fighting your war ? Oh how you rockefeller types are evil. Are we to understand correctly that the ideal american sex scene is to be on the front lines machine gun in hand mowing down innocent women and babies big bad billy waugh style with a chick bent over and y’all are pumping her and pulling train showering the head of the baby bareback because of course that america girl bent over being pumped by the team is your wife, and meanwhile back way back behind the lines getting primed for battle watching angelina and brad in mr and mrs satan you’re all being gassed by eric prince’s helicopters and his team using restricted CS gas just like in real life.

    Oh and,

    by the way

    Gainseville, Florida the future summer home of a hopefully level 5 hurricane and many more summers of letting y’all know in advance to go out and buy a big fancy $200,000.00 motorhome, auto, boat, mobile home,jetskis, lear jets a little used gainseville is the place for your ? and if you don’t like it leave it in the lowest topographical location Killearn Lake Subdivision between Gilchrist and Bradford and Lake George later this year and near instant insurance check. If you’re really hard up for a profit have a storage policy put on it since you don’t plan to drive it afterwards anyways. As my game of prophecy grows I’ll make sure to include you having fun getting rich and safely running for your lives better than bush leadership and fema frauds.

  • christianarchisti

    You sick fucks up to the usual, maintaining the desensitization propcess for the sociopathic re-creation institutionalized infrastructure upgrades. Is this version satan101.666 ? How are the evil little bastards that sack emasculate and cannibalize their own military and homes while the goal is to defile their own team alpha male superior counterparts off fighting your war ? Oh how you rockefeller types are evil. Are we to understand correctly that the ideal american sex scene is to be on the front lines machine gun in hand mowing down innocent women and babies big bad billy waugh style with a chick bent over and y’all are pumping her and pulling train showering the head of the baby bareback because of course that america girl bent over being pumped by the team is your wife, and meanwhile back way back behind the lines getting primed for battle watching angelina and brad in mr and mrs satan you’re all being gassed by eric prince’s helicopters and his team using restricted CS gas just like in real life.

    Oh and,

    by the way

    Gainseville, Florida the future summer home of a hopefully level 5 hurricane and many more summers of letting y’all know in advance to go out and buy a big fancy $200,000.00 motorhome, auto, boat, mobile home,jetskis, lear jets a little used gainseville is the place for your ? and if you don’t like it leave it in the lowest topographical location Killearn Lake Subdivision between Gilchrist and Bradford and Lake George later this year and near instant insurance check. If you’re really hard up for a profit have a storage policy put on it since you don’t plan to drive it afterwards anyways. As my game of prophecy grows I’ll make sure to include you having fun getting rich and safely running for your lives better than bush leadership and fema frauds.

  • poisonivylee

    Hey christianarchisti,just one question; are you a sociology major? Or a poetry major? I mean just what the fuck are you? Every post, and you blow my mind.

  • poisonivylee

    Hey christianarchisti,just one question; are you a sociology major? Or a poetry major? I mean just what the fuck are you? Every post, and you blow my mind.

  • columbia

    is there a website that randomly generates anarchist rants? I’m not suggesting christiananarchist is using one — that shit is gold. Just, you know, if I wanted to flip out on someone hardcore but I’m lacking that certain rhetorical flair…

  • columbia

    is there a website that randomly generates anarchist rants? I’m not suggesting christiananarchist is using one — that shit is gold. Just, you know, if I wanted to flip out on someone hardcore but I’m lacking that certain rhetorical flair…

  • Columbia 08

    I’d bet her hourly wage that she’s not an Ivy League student. If she was, she probably wouldn’t have thought it necessary to include the prices for 1.5 and 2 hours, given that it’s all at the same rate. An Ivy League student would have presumably figured this was obvious enough to render inclusion unnecessary.

  • Columbia 08

    I’d bet her hourly wage that she’s not an Ivy League student. If she was, she probably wouldn’t have thought it necessary to include the prices for 1.5 and 2 hours, given that it’s all at the same rate. An Ivy League student would have presumably figured this was obvious enough to render inclusion unnecessary.

  • uhm

    She probably goes to Drexel and accidentally thinks she goes to Penn since she needs to come to our campus for everything anyway.

    I remember in my criminology class my professor made us write a list of illegal activities we had done and then presented all the results on powerpoint. One person in a room of about 200 students admitted to prostitution. Apparently there is one person every semester. I thought the professor just put it in there to fuck with us.

  • uhm

    She probably goes to Drexel and accidentally thinks she goes to Penn since she needs to come to our campus for everything anyway.

    I remember in my criminology class my professor made us write a list of illegal activities we had done and then presented all the results on powerpoint. One person in a room of about 200 students admitted to prostitution. Apparently there is one person every semester. I thought the professor just put it in there to fuck with us.

  • Quaker Oats

    Ha i’d bed she went to penn- the photo shoot was clearly in one of our prison-like dorms (may I suggest Gregory?)

  • Quaker Oats

    Ha i’d bed she went to penn- the photo shoot was clearly in one of our prison-like dorms (may I suggest Gregory?)

  • anonymous

    who knows, but it’s possible. every once in a while, i see a recent ivy league grad who does the same thing for extra cash on the side. met her through craigslist and yes, i’ve verified that she really did go to the school she says she went to. just because somebody goes to an ivy league college really has nothing to do with whether or not they’d ever do this kind of thing.

  • anonymous

    who knows, but it’s possible. every once in a while, i see a recent ivy league grad who does the same thing for extra cash on the side. met her through craigslist and yes, i’ve verified that she really did go to the school she says she went to. just because somebody goes to an ivy league college really has nothing to do with whether or not they’d ever do this kind of thing.

  • @Columbia ’08

    she might know how to multiply by 1.5 and 2, but do the johns? And anyways, some prostitutes give discounts for longer time periods.

  • @Columbia ’08

    she might know how to multiply by 1.5 and 2, but do the johns? And anyways, some prostitutes give discounts for longer time periods.

  • ha

    Penn has criminology classes? (and 200 people are in them?) Jesus, what kind of community college outfit is that place?

  • ha

    Penn has criminology classes? (and 200 people are in them?) Jesus, what kind of community college outfit is that place?

  • y

    Yale has basically has one as well, but it is taught as a psychology class

  • y

    Yale has basically has one as well, but it is taught as a psychology class

  • illovich

    Er, goes to Wharton? Hello, Capitalism? Goes to an Ivy = worth more money, a premise everybody accepts… why not in this case too?

    (I believe the Freakonomics guy has a riff on that, something along the lines the prostitution only sucks if you’re not getting paid enough)

  • illovich

    Er, goes to Wharton? Hello, Capitalism? Goes to an Ivy = worth more money, a premise everybody accepts… why not in this case too?

    (I believe the Freakonomics guy has a riff on that, something along the lines the prostitution only sucks if you’re not getting paid enough)

  • HYP

    Oh, come on. You’re worried about spam? Sign up a fake account… get a free yahoo/hotmail account and use it just for this. Where’s your investigative skill?

    If they charge money, want a real credit card (as “age verification”) or something like that, I understand. But if not, you need to get back to work and read the reviews.

    Though I have to say that I found the “charges admission” line quite witty.

  • HYP

    Oh, come on. You’re worried about spam? Sign up a fake account… get a free yahoo/hotmail account and use it just for this. Where’s your investigative skill?

    If they charge money, want a real credit card (as “age verification”) or something like that, I understand. But if not, you need to get back to work and read the reviews.

    Though I have to say that I found the “charges admission” line quite witty.

  • @Columbia ’08

    OK. Can’t say I’m proud of this, but I do know why she quotes the different times. You don’t really buy a set amount of time when you get a prostitute. Rather, the times are sort-of an understood code for what goes on for the money. 1/2 hour is a handjob or bj, 1 hour is sex. I’ve gotta assume 1.5 hour is sex + bj and 2 hours must be some more sketchy shit (role playing or anal). So the fact that the charges are linear wrt “time” is, imho, actually surprising. It shows she at least knows something about fixed costs of deployment to a client, however. And the morals are straight-up Wharton. (I’d know.)

  • @Columbia ’08

    OK. Can’t say I’m proud of this, but I do know why she quotes the different times. You don’t really buy a set amount of time when you get a prostitute. Rather, the times are sort-of an understood code for what goes on for the money. 1/2 hour is a handjob or bj, 1 hour is sex. I’ve gotta assume 1.5 hour is sex + bj and 2 hours must be some more sketchy shit (role playing or anal). So the fact that the charges are linear wrt “time” is, imho, actually surprising. It shows she at least knows something about fixed costs of deployment to a client, however. And the morals are straight-up Wharton. (I’d know.)

  • d09

    she could stand to lose a few pounds

  • d09

    she could stand to lose a few pounds

  • P11

    My roommate, who is an expert in waist and bra sizes – in fact, in women’s sizes in general – says that this girl looks more like a 28″ waist. He thinks 5’1 girls should be under 100 lbs if they want to be thin. Maybe she wrote down her measurements and the 3 looked like an 8. That being said, she is pretty hot. I wonder if she will come to Princeton?

  • P11

    My roommate, who is an expert in waist and bra sizes – in fact, in women’s sizes in general – says that this girl looks more like a 28″ waist. He thinks 5’1 girls should be under 100 lbs if they want to be thin. Maybe she wrote down her measurements and the 3 looked like an 8. That being said, she is pretty hot. I wonder if she will come to Princeton?

  • Re: P11

    Wait, so you’re telling me that having a girl who will give you a girlfriend experience is worth spending money on? Seriously, put on a polo shirt, get yourself an Ivy pass, do a few shots, and get the same skank experience for free.

  • Re: P11

    Wait, so you’re telling me that having a girl who will give you a girlfriend experience is worth spending money on? Seriously, put on a polo shirt, get yourself an Ivy pass, do a few shots, and get the same skank experience for free.

  • SchmoJoe

    http://yourexoticcourtesan.com/images/127.JPG

    Do I see her kitty a la Lohan & Spears?

  • SchmoJoe

    http://yourexoticcourtesan.com/images/127.JPG

    Do I see her kitty a la Lohan & Spears?

  • h08

    are you serious? She doesn’t need to lose any weight…unless anorexia is your bag, then you should get some help…

  • h08

    are you serious? She doesn’t need to lose any weight…unless anorexia is your bag, then you should get some help…

  • d09

    i am serious. click on the link and look at her belly. it sticks out.

  • d09

    i am serious. click on the link and look at her belly. it sticks out.

  • d09

    i am serious. click on the link and look at her belly. it sticks out.

  • d09

    i am serious. click on the link and look at her belly. it sticks out.

  • HYP

    So… d09, are you trying to say that she’s not quite Elliot Spitzer material?

  • HYP

    So… d09, are you trying to say that she’s not quite Elliot Spitzer material?

  • d09

    i wont even try to understand spitzer. he’s got a hot wife, and if he was really that desperate, he could have just pulled a clinton.

  • d09

    i wont even try to understand spitzer. he’s got a hot wife, and if he was really that desperate, he could have just pulled a clinton.

  • ViolentQuaker

    Spitzer went to Princeton–as did Rumsfeld and everyone’s favorte ant-semitic Versailles-ruiner, Woodrow Wilson.

    I think a compelling case can be made to ban Princeton graduates from public service. And then maybe we can put them in little ghettoes.

  • ViolentQuaker

    Spitzer went to Princeton–as did Rumsfeld and everyone’s favorte ant-semitic Versailles-ruiner, Woodrow Wilson.

    I think a compelling case can be made to ban Princeton graduates from public service. And then maybe we can put them in little ghettoes.

  • poisonivylee

    Agreed, Wilson’s implementation of social welfare/reconstruction and his naive belief in international law smacks of stupidity.

  • poisonivylee

    Agreed, Wilson’s implementation of social welfare/reconstruction and his naive belief in international law smacks of stupidity.

  • wait a second

    I’m not defending Wilson but what’s naive about international law? In this day and age of nuclear proliferation it seems pretty relevant to me.

  • wait a second

    I’m not defending Wilson but what’s naive about international law? In this day and age of nuclear proliferation it seems pretty relevant to me.

  • shoopadoop

    Prostitution is the worlds oldest profession. If you don’t like it stay out of it. If you are into then it should be yours to enjoy. Give the girl a break.

  • shoopadoop

    Prostitution is the worlds oldest profession. If you don’t like it stay out of it. If you are into then it should be yours to enjoy. Give the girl a break.

  • Lets Say What She Actually Is

    I have had the displeasure of actually knowing Solana Jewel, the “sheduler”. What she really is, a woman who looks to prey on others, both men and women for money, gifts, and cash. But let’s say what she actually is… She is a past her prime Filipino women who whored her self out. She is also a negligent mother to her daughter, who lives with her father thankfully. Solana’s name is Betsie Bo Rapada. Hopefully a day will come when she will find that she is accountable for pimping other women, exposing her child, spouse and family to her sexual perversions. She may be sexually addicted, but for gods sake the amount of self made porn and utter disregard for a little child being exposed to her lifestyle is shameful.

  • Lets Say What She Actually Is

    I have had the displeasure of actually knowing Solana Jewel, the “sheduler”. What she really is, a woman who looks to prey on others, both men and women for money, gifts, and cash. But let’s say what she actually is… She is a past her prime Filipino women who whored her self out. She is also a negligent mother to her daughter, who lives with her father thankfully. Solana’s name is Betsie Bo Rapada. Hopefully a day will come when she will find that she is accountable for pimping other women, exposing her child, spouse and family to her sexual perversions. She may be sexually addicted, but for gods sake the amount of self made porn and utter disregard for a little child being exposed to her lifestyle is shameful.

  • Lets Say What She Actually Is

    I have had the displeasure of actually knowing Solana Jewel, the “sheduler”. What she really is, a woman who looks to prey on others, both men and women for money, gifts, and cash. But let’s say what she actually is… She is a past her prime Filipino women who whored her self out. She is also a negligent mother to her daughter, who lives with her father thankfully. Solana’s name is Betsie Bo Rapada. Hopefully a day will come when she will find that she is accountable for pimping other women, exposing her child, spouse and family to her sexual perversions. She may be sexually addicted, but for gods sake the amount of self made porn and utter disregard for a little child being exposed to her lifestyle is shameful.

  • Lets Say What She Actually Is

    I have had the displeasure of actually knowing Solana Jewel, the “sheduler”. What she really is, a woman who looks to prey on others, both men and women for money, gifts, and cash. But let’s say what she actually is… She is a past her prime Filipino women who whored her self out. She is also a negligent mother to her daughter, who lives with her father thankfully. Solana’s name is Betsie Bo Rapada. Hopefully a day will come when she will find that she is accountable for pimping other women, exposing her child, spouse and family to her sexual perversions. She may be sexually addicted, but for gods sake the amount of self made porn and utter disregard for a little child being exposed to her lifestyle is shameful.

  • More On Solana Jewel AKA: Slo

    Solana Jewel / Betsie Bo Rapada / Sloane Qates

    They all are the same person. She is now using the name Sloane Qates to pimp herself out.

  • More On Solana Jewel AKA: Sloane Qates

    Solana Jewel / Betsie Bo Rapada / Sloane Qates

    They all are the same person. She is now using the name Sloane Qates to pimp herself out.

  • http://www.mobiletug.com/ Malachi

    Even though mobile porn is seeing tremendous growth, I still think that the US is about 5 years behind the rest of the world :/

  • http://www.mobiletug.com/ Malachi

    Even though mobile porn is seeing tremendous growth, I still think that the US is about 5 years behind the rest of the world :/

  • anon

    No, darlings, Solana/Sloan’s real name is Carrie, an nyu marketing major. Skank of all skanks.

  • anon

    No, darlings, Solana/Sloan’s real name is Carrie, an nyu marketing major. Skank of all skanks.

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