Is the job market really this bad?
WARNING: The links in this post are NSFW. Some go to a site you are supposed to be 21 years old to view.
The entire concept of irony bursts into flames and ceases to exist today. If the internets are to be believed, a real live Wharton student is whoring herself out. No, this is not another post about douchebags at McKinsey. Not about the shitty job market, or annoying sex columnists, or degrading internships fetching coffee for rich guys in pinstripe suits. We are talking about a literal prostitute, the kind that charges money for admission to her vagina. And if the so-called Eva and her madame Solana Jewel have anything to say about it, the little hussy goes to Penn:
Eva is a new addition to the Philadelphia scene! A hot Italian spinner! She is currently a finance major at a Ivy League university. I can assure you she is 100% GFE!
Rate is $300/hr, $450/1.5 hrs, $600/2hrs. Couples are $450/hr. Inquire for longer hours. She is also available for outcalls.
Miss Eva and Mama Lana were unavailable for comment (“press request” being outside the standard sex-for-money dialogue). But we are pretty sure the above blonde woman exists. Whether she actually attends Wharton, however, is another story. After the jump: We break down the knowns; the unknowns; and the many things that, in the course of investigating this story, we have come to know but really wish we didn’t.
Come! Enter the sordid world of Prostitution at Penn…
Known: There is an “exotic courtesan” named Eva, who has a “scheduler” named Solana Jewel, who goes on “dates” for money and claims to go to Penn.
Unknown: Unless it’s that other Ivy League university in Philadelphia that hands out degrees in finance! You know… Penn… State?
Wish We Didn’t Know: In this context, “spinning” has nothing to do with stationary bicycles in private gyms. And GFE? Not even close to GPA.
Known: Both YourExoticCourtesan and Eva are known entities in the Phila prostitute scene, and have been reviewed on multiple times on third-party websites. Eva’s even getting rave reviews!
Unknown: The infinite amount of porn emails one would receive upon registering a VIP account at TheEroticReview.com. A VIP account is needed to view the actual content of reviews.
Known: YourExoticCourtesan’s disclaimer explains, “In no way is this Company soliciting for prostitution.”
Known: If I have learned anything from Law & Order: SVU, the above is a lie.
Unknown: Short of coughing up $300 and going undercover as a Wharton dean, we have no way of proving or disproving this story. Despite our best attempts to convince them that this story would play really well in the media (everybody loves a smart, sassy hooker!) Solana Jewel and jewel-of-Wharton Eva declined to comment.
