The notorious Julia Allison — dating columnist, sex columnist, “media kryptonite” — will be in Princeton this Friday, and she’s looking for a man after midnight. Or, you know, after her dad’s Alumni Weekend dinner. Papa Allison is class of ’70, but we digress. What matters is that Julia Allison is coming, and she’s single, and really hot!
Send a picture and briefly explain why you, Mr. Eligible Princeton Hetero and/or Closeted Gay Male, should get a date with the Tila Tequila of Manhattan journos. Seriously, keep it brief. The kid who asks “is single-spacing an option?” every time he turns in a term paper need not apply. Skillful self-portrayal is, however, part of Julia’s philosophy:
One of the most difficult parts of dating in New York is standing out. That’s why as a single person these days-male or female-marketing yourself outright is a necessary skill.
This is a big deal because a date with Julia Allison = Instant fame and fortune. See that magazine cover? It’s like Carrie Bradshaw’s “Single and Fabulous?” cover, but without the question mark. That means our winner will be Mr. Big, an epithet you can probably put on your resume, redeemable for infinite NYC ass later in life.
We’ll run a “Who Gets to Date Julia?” election on Thursday so the candidate with the most ambitious set of computer-savvy ballot-stuffing friends wins. Applicants must write to email@example.com by (hang on while I make up an arbitrary time here) Thursday at 9AM!