Julia Allison Seeks Most Eligible Bachelor in Princeton

by | February 18, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Julia Allison Seeks Most Eligible Bachelor in PrincetonThe notorious Julia Allison — dating columnist, sex columnist, “media kryptonite” — will be in Princeton this Friday, and she’s looking for a man after midnight. Or, you know, after her dad’s Alumni Weekend dinner. Papa Allison is class of ’70, but we digress. What matters is that Julia Allison is coming, and she’s single, and really hot!

Send a picture and briefly explain why you, Mr. Eligible Princeton Hetero and/or Closeted Gay Male, should get a date with the Tila Tequila of Manhattan journos. Seriously, keep it brief. The kid who asks “is single-spacing an option?” every time he turns in a term paper need not apply. Skillful self-portrayal is, however, part of Julia’s philosophy:

One of the most difficult parts of dating in New York is standing out. That’s why as a single person these days-male or female-marketing yourself outright is a necessary skill.

This is a big deal because a date with Julia Allison = Instant fame and fortune. See that magazine cover? It’s like Carrie Bradshaw’s “Single and Fabulous?” cover, but without the question mark. That means our winner will be Mr. Big, an epithet you can probably put on your resume, redeemable for infinite NYC ass later in life.

We’ll run a “Who Gets to Date Julia?” election on Thursday so the candidate with the most ambitious set of computer-savvy ballot-stuffing friends wins. Applicants must write to ivygate@gmail.com by (hang on while I make up an arbitrary time here) Thursday at 9AM!

 
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  • jim newell

    i nominate that conservative guy who beat himself up

  • jim newell

    i nominate that conservative guy who beat himself up

  • p10
  • p10
  • p08

    I feel simultaneously dirty and pleased to recognize that Sex and the City reference–as a straight male.

  • p08

    I feel simultaneously dirty and pleased to recognize that Sex and the City reference–as a straight male.

  • christianarchisti

    How are satan’s rats doing today ? What’s it like to work for the c.i.a. and f.b.i. ? What do you actually assume to believe the c.i.a. does nothing domestically ? Read about the Mena, Arkansas airport and the planes the cia smuugles drugs into america that were being serviced at the airport, while hilary clinton helped push the legal paperwork for them. The reporters name was Webb I believe but the article received no attention nationally. It does seem rather odd that such a tidbit is absent from the political process going on. Do you think the media is corrupted in it’s deliberate attempts to influence who you vote for ? I mean really, Dennis Kucinich is all over the needs to protect america in the future. He has a huge background covering weapons of mass destruction and the media asks him questions about UFO’s when they haven’t totally hidden him from the media. nyc money has been pumping sold out politicains as business, nyc owns the media. You’re nothing but a bunch of evil idiots maintianed in this quasi murderous torturous stealing lying mode. You try and teach your young to derive pleasure from your policy and yet they’re all doped up on anti depressants, anti psychotics, add and adhd drugs. All is not right in america. How is it canada can give it’s citizens universal health care and education cheap and run surpluses and you americans can’t manage the math ? Your media is evil and you little turds know not that which you do. Insecticidus americanus, a less than human version.

  • christianarchisti

    How are satan’s rats doing today ? What’s it like to work for the c.i.a. and f.b.i. ? What do you actually assume to believe the c.i.a. does nothing domestically ? Read about the Mena, Arkansas airport and the planes the cia smuugles drugs into america that were being serviced at the airport, while hilary clinton helped push the legal paperwork for them. The reporters name was Webb I believe but the article received no attention nationally. It does seem rather odd that such a tidbit is absent from the political process going on. Do you think the media is corrupted in it’s deliberate attempts to influence who you vote for ? I mean really, Dennis Kucinich is all over the needs to protect america in the future. He has a huge background covering weapons of mass destruction and the media asks him questions about UFO’s when they haven’t totally hidden him from the media. nyc money has been pumping sold out politicains as business, nyc owns the media. You’re nothing but a bunch of evil idiots maintianed in this quasi murderous torturous stealing lying mode. You try and teach your young to derive pleasure from your policy and yet they’re all doped up on anti depressants, anti psychotics, add and adhd drugs. All is not right in america. How is it canada can give it’s citizens universal health care and education cheap and run surpluses and you americans can’t manage the math ? Your media is evil and you little turds know not that which you do. Insecticidus americanus, a less than human version.

  • anon08

    dear christiananarchisti: canada sucks.
    ivygate: get on top of the h-bomb hacking story.

  • anon08

    dear christiananarchisti: canada sucks.
    ivygate: get on top of the h-bomb hacking story.

  • y10
  • y10
  • whoa

    holy crap…her last name is also a first name!!

  • whoa

    holy crap…her last name is also a first name!!

  • josh stein

    I always find it funny when cute girls in their mid 20s wonder why they’re single. It’s usually because they’re so g-d damn annoying/obnoxious…Good luck finding some schmuck to take over daddy’s spoiling duties Jules.

  • josh stein

    I always find it funny when cute girls in their mid 20s wonder why they’re single. It’s usually because they’re so g-d damn annoying/obnoxious…Good luck finding some schmuck to take over daddy’s spoiling duties Jules.

  • steve-0

    I think i’m the obvious choice.

  • steve-0

    I think i’m the obvious choice.

  • You make our whole sex look ba

    I am embarassed for Julia and my whole gender. She sets us back decades.

  • You make our whole sex look bad

    I am embarassed for Julia and my whole gender. She sets us back decades.

  • KC

    Love Julia! Though wouldn’t compare her to Tila Tequila in any shape or form!

  • KC

    Love Julia! Though wouldn’t compare her to Tila Tequila in any shape or form!

  • Max Brenner

    There is no one more delicious than Julia Allison.

  • Max Brenner

    There is no one more delicious than Julia Allison.

  • Dr. Fu Manchu

    Dr. Fu is in love with you!

  • Dr. Fu Manchu

    Dr. Fu is in love with you!

  • dave

    julia allison is an embarrassment to the female race…. seriously everything about her is fake- hair (extensions, highlights), nose (rhinoplasty- look at her younger pics), nails, teeth…even her personality is fake. she seems to be all ‘rainbows and sunshine’ all the freaking time. maybe because she lives across the hall from Rosie O Donnell.
    But as far as I can tell she has no talents except for dressing really well and keeping up her beauty appointments and making everything in the world be about HER. marketing done right. but no intelligent guy would want that long term. maybe a one night stand. at best…

  • dave

    julia allison is an embarrassment to the female race…. seriously everything about her is fake- hair (extensions, highlights), nose (rhinoplasty- look at her younger pics), nails, teeth…even her personality is fake. she seems to be all ‘rainbows and sunshine’ all the freaking time. maybe because she lives across the hall from Rosie O Donnell.
    But as far as I can tell she has no talents except for dressing really well and keeping up her beauty appointments and making everything in the world be about HER. marketing done right. but no intelligent guy would want that long term. maybe a one night stand. at best…

  • pton10

    what happened to the election? no one apply?

  • pton10

    what happened to the election? no one apply?

  • truckbucket

    Dave, I think you mean ‘gender’ not race.

  • truckbucket

    Dave, I think you mean ‘gender’ not race.

  • penn ’07

    I wonder how many people have actually tried calling that number.

  • penn ’07

    I wonder how many people have actually tried calling that number.

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