BREAKING x2: Unemployed Girl Actually Really Pretty, Says Her Sorority Sister
Response and correction appended
Their employment rate may not be perfect, but the girls of Sigma Delta's Dartmouth chapter have a 100% success rate at watching each other's backs. In response to our story on Dartmouth Sig Delt Jennifer Krimm's sad story of unemployment, a younger sister sent us an email entitled "better jen krimm pics."
this is what she really looks like- you guys found a horrible pic of her!!!!
she didn;t look like that in school and she doesn't look like that now.. maybe she did for like 5 seconds last year in Kuwait?
shallow @ D...
Not sure if that last line is supposed to be a nom de plume, a generalizing statement on Dartmouth priorities, or a proclamation of personal bias. Nonetheless, we thank the kind sister for providing this crucial piece of information, because without it, we'd have thought Jen was just another ugly, jobless hobo, when she is actually a pretty princess with shiny hair and nice skin. It's not her fault they don't have good makeup in Kazakhstan* or whatever.
* Krimm was in Qatar last year, not Kuwait. To her sister's credit, she spent time in Kuwait a few years ago, too.
In an email entitled "Do NOT apritiate this," our tipster responds:
-just got like 3 blitzes about this post and checked my sent messages...
got blitjacked (see your previous blitzing @ dartmouth post if you don;t know
what this is)presumably by sorority sis/ someone else @ D who's not creative enough to make
up a fake acount???anyway fucking take my name down!!!
that is all
She is totally right. Though said tipster did not request anonymity, we should have guessed that she (or whoever blitzjacked her) wanted it. So, per request, her name has since been removed from the story. Within moments, she wrote again:
actually turns out my own highschool- aged lil sis (who I am going to kill now)
was the blitzjacker.hmmm sorry, actually should not have jumped to conclusions and blamed my
sorority sisters for blitz-jacking me.you all must be bored out of your minds to care about this....
what's next?
"MURDEROUS INTENTIONS OF A SHALLOW DARTMOUTH CHICK"
<<rolls eyes>
So, take it with however many grains of salt taste right, and go update your password or something.
In the meantime, my sincerest apologies to blitzjacked non-tipster and appalled readers questioning our "anonymity guaranteed" clause. I goofed majorly here, and though there was no request for anonymity, I should have anticipated it. We haven't had trouble with anonymity before, and we don't plan on doing it again.
To the readers who think I am a terrible person, should be deposed, could do a better job in their sleep: Do email and pitch a story or two. We're always looking for contributors.
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February 11th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
still kinda chunky, but nice face i guess
February 11th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Seriously? This warrants a separate post?
February 11th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Got a hot tip? Want to write for us? Get in touch. Anonymity guaranteed.
Nice, IvyGate.
February 11th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
This is possibly the lamest article ever posted on Ivy Gate. Nice job, writers.
February 11th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
This is possibly the lamest article ever posted on Ivy Gate. Nice job, writers.
February 11th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
This is the first series of hilarious stories in a while, actually. But Gawker’s commentators are doing a better job.
February 11th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
“still kinda chunky, but nice face i guess”
Men are so critical…
She is gorgeous.
February 11th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Why can’t a woman think she’s chunky? Why does it have to be a man? Can’t she be both “gorgeous” and “chunky”? Or are you holding beauty to an unrealistic standard?
Get over yourself, Feminist. I bet you’re fat.
February 11th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Remind me to never give an anonymous tip to Ivygate
February 11th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
@d4:
Are you kidding? Say what you want about her editorial, but she’s pretty beautiful if you ask me. But maybe we just have different standards on the West Coast… like, you know, the kind that correspond with good taste.
February 11th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Doesn’t she seem like the girl who takes the best possible picture of herself, crops it at the neck, and emails it to her friends?
February 11th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
I guess the anonymity guarantee only applies after you create a fake email account
February 11th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
I’m so glad ivygate cleared that up
February 11th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
don’t act like you belong, adding comments nonchalantly…
February 11th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Maureen O’Connor, you’re a fucking idiot. The first rule about running a blog is to NEVER FUCK YOUR OWN TIPSTERS! Good luck getting any submissions in the future. Seriously, are you that stupid? bitch.
February 11th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
This is a great example of a post that needs to be removed. Not for being lame, but for not sticking to your lying sac of “Anonymity guaranteed” shit. Not cool, IvyGate. No one will miss this post anyway.
February 11th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
I spit out my drink when Stanford ‘05 put ‘West Coast’ and ‘good taste’ in the same sentence together.
February 11th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
i didn’t think she was ugly or anything in the first post. and i don’t think (hope) my standards are that bad.
February 11th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
At Stanford, she’d be a 9. Which says a lot about Stanford, and not about her.
February 11th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
@ @stanford:
Fine, whatever. If it makes you content to believe Dartmouth and Harvard or Cornell and Yale share something special (aside from being old and having to endure bad weather) that Stanford students and graduates simply cannot comprehend, then have at it.
@dartmouth:
Touche. Truth be told, I actually like East Coast sensibilities more. I was just trying to go after d4 for being a douche.
Also, I’ll just ring in with the chorus blasting the editors for outing a source. I guess journalistic integrity (as this site once defined it, not in a universal sense, of course) is worth less than a cheap joke.
February 11th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Anyone else think Ivygate kinda sucks now?
The old editors did a much better job finding interesting stuff to write about. Also, they didn’t post things that made someone look like an ass without a good reason.
February 12th, 2008 at 12:02 am
This isn’t “TopOfUSNewsGateBlog.” Go find your own blog, Stanford. Leave us with our douches.
February 12th, 2008 at 12:14 am
she’s hot. even the first picture did it for me.
February 12th, 2008 at 12:28 am
A hearty lol @ Cap’n Ivy. But you forget that a few spots in the top tier of the rankings of a second-tier magazine make a world of difference between one school and the next. Dartmouth is an elite school, no doubt–but the spots on that ranking that separate it from Stanford represent an incommunicable abyss; Dartmouth can only approach Stanford as an asymptote approaches infinity. I hear they actually teach the kids in Palo Alto with the resurrected corpses of dead famous people; last time I checked, Adam Smith was teaching Econ 101. And Princeton? Don’t even go there. Every student receives his or her own *personal* clone of Plato–thus each graduates as an Aristotle. Until Dartmouth can attain such heights, it will be buried, according to USN&WR, as but the 11th-best university in the United States, offering a paltry “lesser” or “third-tier” elite education to students who, unlike their enlightened peers are greater institutions, don’t quite see the need to emphasize the infinite distance between two infinitely close points on a line.
February 12th, 2008 at 12:31 am
*at
February 12th, 2008 at 12:37 am
Argh, and here I thought our Adam Smith lectures were a secret safely enclosed by Palo Alto and the foothills. Anyhow, Cap’n Ivy, we DO have a blog, actually… unfortunately it’s not nearly as interesting as this one, which, considering some of the content here, is a really sad commentary on our bloggers. And does it seem so strange that a research university that produces a number of future academics might also graduate people interested in what goes on at other, similar schools?
February 12th, 2008 at 12:48 am
Whenever the “top-tier” schools get uppity, I like to bring out some statistics: only 35% of Stanford students receive financial aid, only 40% of Yale students receive financial aid, and only 55% of Princeton students (well, freshmen) receive financial aid. Only Harvard can claim to not still be a school for rich kids with a shit-ton of privilege. Oh, and 60% of Dartmouth students receive financial aid–so much for it being the “conservative” Ivy.
February 12th, 2008 at 12:53 am
This is bad, IvyGate.
February 12th, 2008 at 12:56 am
I like Stanford lurkers: You spank them and they come back for more. That’s some powerful loneliness. Berkeley and Caltech students aren’t interested in talking to you?
February 12th, 2008 at 12:59 am
I say we replace Dartmouth with Stanford.
February 12th, 2008 at 1:28 am
Seconded. Nice job fucking over your readers, IvyGate. An apology and a pledge not to leak names of your own tipsters is in order. And “green ‘09″, do you really think people believe you go to dartmouth? you’re as dumb as we thought.
February 12th, 2008 at 2:18 am
i seriously don’t know how stanford gets students… if you’re intelligent enough to get into stanford, you’re intelligent enough to get into an ivy, SO GO TO THE IVY. the ivy’s have everything stanford has PLUS history, strong and storied tradition, the fact that they’re in the ivy league and no poor mexican people buildings on campus. stanford’s main quad looks like the place my migrant workers take siesta.
February 12th, 2008 at 2:38 am
@ @green ‘09:
“Everything Stanford has”? Ummm, yeah, some of them, but to say ALL of them have Stanford’s academic depth and breadth is a little delusional. How are your graduate programs? Is it common for people to double major in Computer Science and English and have field-leading scholars in both departments? Ever have a Nobel laureate over for dinner? At some of the schools, sure– but at all of them? The so-called “Lesser Ivies” are all great schools – probably better for certain students than Stanford would be – but you’re being an idiot. It might be more accurate to say Stanford has everything the Ivy League has PLUS its own history, a truly diverse student body (which might prompt you to reconsider your ideas on Mexican culture), athletics people outside campus/ alumni groups care about, and sunshine.
February 12th, 2008 at 2:44 am
You people must be seriously deprived if you think this girl is hot.
February 12th, 2008 at 3:22 am
the fact that you’re on this site proves that stanford lacks something to be had. and that something is true history, tradition, snob appeal… etc. hadn’t you read dartmouth’s threat about how the differences among top tier universities are unmeasurable? education wise i agree. but in the classic/british styled/oxbridge college sense i must disagree. take MIT and CIT… they are think tanks, not colleges. if you want a purely educational experience at university then those institutions are great and rank highly. if you want a scholarship (doors somewhat open for athletes), young, sunny university, then ucla, stanford, duke, texas, unc etc. are for you. but to say that stanford is better overall than any… any ivy, is ‘delusional.’ go take a siesta and think about it.
February 12th, 2008 at 3:27 am
*thread
February 12th, 2008 at 4:30 am
Dear IvyGate,
to reveal the name of your tipster is not kosher at all. You should probably remove it and apologize. Maybe then you could hope to continue receiving tips from your readers.
Love,
said readers
February 12th, 2008 at 8:04 am
I always thought that Stanford’s reputation was as good or better than most of the Ivies, but this rivalry discussion is a little silly. I think the highlights of the thread are the “we’re more diverse than you” bit and the “ever have a Nobel Laureate over for dinner”?
I can assure anyone who doubts Dartmouth’s commitment to identity politics in admissions that it’s alive and well, and that every class is touted as “among the most diverse in history.” Just you wait, Stanford ‘05—by 2015 there will be no WASPs wihin 10 miles of Hanover and 70% of the classes will be taught in Esperanto and COBOL (that’s right–I said Esperanto AND COBOL, not or). As for the Nobel Laureates, I’ll concede that Stanford’s grad programs, particularly the sciences, are generally way ahead of Dartmouth’s. But I wouldn’t want to have dinner with Al Gore anyway. He came to Dartmouth before the NH primary in 2000, wearing more makeup than Bozo the clown, and his answer to every question was “I’ll roll up my sleeves,” even the question about him inventing the internet.
I think the stock Dartmouth retort to the question about double majoring in CS and English and having field-leading scholars in both departments is that said leading scholars at Stanford probably spend their time writing grant proposals, doing research, and generally concerning themselves with leading their respective fields while their grad students teach you and grade your problem sets. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but that’s the stock retort.
On the history thing, we have more history than you. 1769 is before 1891. 239 > 107. Suck it, n00b. Your website misleadingly starts the Stanford founding narrative in 1769 (coincidence?) so that the casual observer might think that Stanford has more history, but it doesn’t. You missed the American Revolution AND the Civil war, but you think you can show up late to the party and catch up with the conversation. No. You can’t. http://www.stanford.edu/home/stanford/history/begin.html
When I’m in the mood to judge people based on their undergrad educational pedigree, I generally regard Stanfordites as my equals. If they’ve been secretly looking down their noses at me all these years because my peers weren’t diverse enough or my dinner guests accomplished enough, well I guess I have a lot of soul searching to do… not blog reading.
If some 17-yr-old has acceptance letters from Stanford and Dartmouth, and wants to know which school is “better,” I think s/he’s asking the wrong question.
February 12th, 2008 at 9:05 am
How can Stanford’s student body be “truly” diverse if only 35% are receiving financial aid?
And to answer your obnoxious questions–hell, even at a “lesser Ivy” like Dartmouth you could major in two fields and have both departments contain leading scholars in each field. The difference between Dartmouth and, say, Harvard, is that you’re actually taught by those scholars, and can become friends with them. I was able to develop very close relationships with some of the best scholars in the field that I’m in while I was at Dartmouth. I now happen to be studying at a “first-tier Ivy” graduate school, where, even as a graduate student, I don’t have that level of access or same commitment to teaching, and it’s considered one of the best departments. So, stop all the cock-waving, please. It’s utterly pointless and embarrassing. I’ll defend my alma mater against the unfounded assertions of insecure dolts like yourself, but I’ll never suggest that it’s intrinsically better than any other good school for asinine reasons. I would have gone to HYP if I had wanted to spend the rest of my life nervously preening myself.
February 12th, 2008 at 9:55 am
I seriously don’t understand this “better” school debate. It’s like arguing if ice cream or pizza is better. If you want to turn to USN&WR, fine, feel good about yourself, but take a look at their criteria and see if any of that actually matters to you. Do you choose your friends on SAT scores from when we were 16? Do you only talk to professors that have received huge grants or awards? Give me a break.
If you actually want to find out which school is best *for you*, it may be a little late, but go talk to your high school guidance councilor and find out the important stuff: urban/rural scale, large/small scale, strength in your programs of interest, available clubs/teams/student groups, and whatever the hell else YOU think is important at the school YOU want to attend.
I have apparently been an idiot for a while thinking that most of the inter-Ivy bashing on here has been like sibling rivalry. We make fun of each other and often step over the line, but in reality we’re really more similar than we’d like to admit and in the end we’ll end up working and living next to each other.
I apologize if I’ve upset people with remarks like “Hanover is in the middle of no where.” I like being in a city, so Dartmouth is a bad choice for me. If you like actually seeing grass, Columbia is an awful school for you. Again, tongue-in-cheek mocking that in reality, doesn’t mean much, or at least I intended it to not mean much.
Finally, in this IvyGate comment essay, I’ll say that every school let in a small minority of total asshats. Don’t let them ruin your relations with the majority of that school who are pretty damn cool.
February 12th, 2008 at 11:38 am
This thread reveals three things that really disturb me, but I’m not sure which one the most:
1) Ivygate feels that this is worth more than one consecutive post.
2) Ivygate revealed the name of an “anonymous” tipster.
3) Someone from (gasp!) Stanford posted, derailing the entire thread as a result of arrogant douchebagss being hocked that a non-Ivier would dare sully our blog.
February 12th, 2008 at 11:44 am
^shocked, not “hocked.” Whatever.
February 12th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Seriously, no more non-Ivy posters. The Stanford kid is annoying. The guy from State U ‘77 posted the same damn message a half-dozen times on the other Krimm thread. And this Penn ‘07 kid is an idiot…this story is hilarious. The world needs a new Vayner.
February 12th, 2008 at 11:58 am
I have superior grad programs to all of you!!
February 12th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Stanford was founded by Cornell. Enough said. Thread closed.
February 12th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Do you choose your friends on SAT scores from when we were 16? Do you only talk to professors that have received huge grants or awards?
Of course. Don’t you? Of course, with the professors, I make allowances for their relative levels of experience. Someone just starting out doesn’t have to have as much grant money to have a conversation with me.
I understand that this approach has its flaws. Most obviously, you can’t always tell someone’s SAT scores or grant tally when you first meet them. But if that’s the first question out of your mouth after introducing yourself, that problem is solved.
February 12th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Exactly, HYP, exactly. Below 1500? Moving on, not worth talking to. I think they should include this useful bit of information in the directory listing, too.
February 12th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
its sigMA delt, not sig delt.
February 12th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
its sigMA delt, not sig delt
February 12th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Hey shitheads: Shut the fuck up about Stanford and give the school debate a rest. It only makes you look like insecure nerds who’ve been brainwashed into treating US News as the bible. @ Maureen: Props for getting with the program.
February 12th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Ms. O’Connor gets additional forgiveness points for dealing with the first few posts from the previously-screwed tipster as well. I shall forgive.
February 12th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
UChicago ‘09 wrote:
“I have superior grad programs to all of you!!”
Ehhh…
February 12th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
ughhhh i knew this girl in college. she is so fake. no one is going to congratulate you for not getting married and going to college. all she ever did in college was beg for money because the school wouldnt give her any more financial aid. she is one of the fakest people i know and her switching parties proves that. i cant believe she took her self-promoting plight to another country and back. its great you guys decided to glorify someone as shallow as her. dont you think she should realize that if she cant get a job on the hill and is going to write a leditor to complain about it, then maybe she was destined to go back to KY? i cant believe this girl
February 12th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
“DartmouthHater” writes:
i cant believe she took her self-promoting plight to another country and back.
Yeah… applying for a Fulbright and actually doing it… who does that?
“DartmouthHater” also writes:she is one of the fakest people i know and her switching parties proves that
You write like someone who’s still in high school. I’m not sure how changing political parties in one’s early 20s is a sign of fakeness, particularly when neither party has been faithful to its principles lately.
Unless I’m misinterpreting what you meant by “switching parties.” If she told her second bestest friend that she’d go to her birthday party, but then didn’t show up and said that she was sick but actually went to some guy’s frat party instead so she could try to hook up with him, then like, oh my god, you’re totally right that she’s fake. I mean, who would do that? That guy was probably playing her anyway. Player.
February 12th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
…and that.
February 12th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
…and that.
February 13th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
sigma delta is a local sorority – there is no ‘dartmouth chapter’ b/c the dartmouth one is the only one there is. sd used to be sigma kappa back in the day – but couldn’t stand the bs the national sororities spout.
February 14th, 2008 at 1:11 am
wait, why did you guys change “a pretty princess with skinny hair and nice skin” to “a pretty princess with shiny hair and nice skin”???
February 14th, 2008 at 1:15 am
wait, why did you guys change “a pretty princess with skinny hair and nice skin” to “a pretty princess with shiny hair and nice skin”???
February 14th, 2008 at 1:18 am
wait, why did you guys change “a pretty princess with skinny hair and nice skin” to “a pretty princess with shiny hair and nice skin”???
February 14th, 2008 at 3:03 am
this is so lame. seriously. get a life!
February 14th, 2008 at 3:05 am
this is so lame. seriously, chug a beer and get on with your life.
February 14th, 2008 at 3:06 am
this is so lame. seriously, chug a beer and get on with your life.