BREAKING: Dartmouth Chick With Killer Resume Fails to Get Job

BREAKING: Dartmouth Chick With Killer Resume Fails to Get JobStop the presses! Dartmouth grad Jennifer Krimm (’06) has a killer resume, knows Arabic, and was president of her senior class. And she’s unemployed! And, since such a tragic turn of events — 20-something between jobs, craving tasteful work in non-profit sector — has never happened before, the Washington Post saw fit to publish Ms. Krimm’s MySpace blog rant eloquent musings. From “Want Fries With That Frustration?”:

When I was turned down for a purely administrative job at a nonprofit because the other candidate had a master’s degree, I knew that there was something very wrong with the economy.

Because unemployment statistics, factories closing, uninsured children, and homeless families the nation throughout? Totally unconvincing. But this:

I am waiting to see whether Borders thinks I’m qualified to work as a cashier.

Humiliating. Everyone knows it’s only okay if it’s an indie bookstore. Otherwise you’re forced to interact with icky normal people who drink wine out of boxes and don’t even know who Proust is, when you are a quarter of the way through the first book of Remembrance of Things Past, and even though it’s slow and kinda boring, you totally like it, because you are totally smart, and spent enough money on your education to own, like, several small houses in a shitty part of town.

But wait. It gets worse. She’s so poor, she’s riding the subway!

I seriously considered standing at the top of the Farragut North Metro Station during rush hour in a suit, resumes in one hand and a poster listing my qualifications in the other. I haven’t done it, but like the economy, I haven’t reached rock bottom.

Wait, they don’t sell newspapers at metro stations anymore? Because this paragraph:

 

I moved to Adams Morgan in October convinced that my stint studying al-Jazeera in the Middle East as a Fulbright scholar, my internship at the White House, my public relations experience in Kuwait and my Ivy League education in government and international relations would give me an edge.

Is sort of the same thing.

 

UPDATE: In the WaPo column, Krimm retells a self-mythologizing tidbit she used in a D article once:

Before Jennifer Krimm ’06 applied to Dartmouth from a poor, rural area in Kentucky, her guidance counselor told her that women go to college to find who they are going to marry.

“She said, ‘You could go to an in-state college, find a husband and then save a lot of money when you drop out.’ She ripped my Yale [University] application in half and refused to fill it out,” Krimm said.

An impressive gesture, given the tensile strength of a 20-odd page college app. Poor Jennifer. If only the stars had aligned different, maybe she’d be a Yalie. We hear they do pretty well in DC.

223 Responses to “BREAKING: Dartmouth Chick With Killer Resume Fails to Get Job”

  1. JTM Says:

    And she needs to ditch the me-too, neo-hippie (Yeah, I can just throw it back in poney tail and look professional) never-was hair cut. Girlfriend, you need a contemporary look. You may want to shave too. And while you’re at it, clear cut that rain forest.

  2. JTM Says:

    And she needs to ditch the me-too, neo-hippie (Yeah, I can just throw it back in poney tail and look professional) never-was hair cut. Girlfriend, you need a contemporary look. You may want to shave too. And while you’re at it, clear cut that rain forest.

  3. CC '08 Says:

    I have a unique opinion to offer, since Jen did just beat me out for a job. You all may be thinking, wow, this guy’s fairly pathetic to be bested by the whiny girl who can’t get her own cats to like her, let alone seek gainful employment. However, I am STILL an UNDERGRAD, and the position was a senior staff position in an office on the Hill where I’d done an internship two summers ago. The sole reason for hiring her over me, according to the COS, was her start date was sooner than mine (I do still have to graduate…an obnoxious little impediment to my career I suppose). But it’s still a little sad. I was offered the same job as some one who from the sounds of things has single-handedly rectified all problems in the Middle-East, as well as of Starbucks, and I’m not blaming the economy. But she’ll do well. Hope the congressional office in which she’ll be working knows that were in heavy competition with the local Borders for her invaluable skillset…

  4. CC '08 Says:

    I have a unique opinion to offer, since Jen did just beat me out for a job. You all may be thinking, wow, this guy’s fairly pathetic to be bested by the whiny girl who can’t get her own cats to like her, let alone seek gainful employment. However, I am STILL an UNDERGRAD, and the position was a senior staff position in an office on the Hill where I’d done an internship two summers ago. The sole reason for hiring her over me, according to the COS, was her start date was sooner than mine (I do still have to graduate…an obnoxious little impediment to my career I suppose). But it’s still a little sad. I was offered the same job as some one who from the sounds of things has single-handedly rectified all problems in the Middle-East, as well as of Starbucks, and I’m not blaming the economy. But she’ll do well. Hope the congressional office in which she’ll be working knows that were in heavy competition with the local Borders for her invaluable skillset…

  5. CC '08 Says:

    I have a unique opinion to offer, since Jen did just beat me out for a job. You all may be thinking, wow, this guy’s fairly pathetic to be bested by the whiny girl who can’t get her own cats to like her, let alone seek gainful employment. However, I am STILL an UNDERGRAD, and the position was a senior staff position in an office on the Hill where I’d done an internship two summers ago. The sole reason for hiring her over me, according to the COS, was her start date was sooner than mine (I do still have to graduate…an obnoxious little impediment to my career I suppose). But it’s still a little sad. I was offered the same job as some one who from the sounds of things has single-handedly rectified all problems in the Middle-East, as well as of Starbucks, and I’m not blaming the economy. But she’ll do well. Hope the congressional office in which she’ll be working knows that were in heavy competition with the local Borders for her invaluable skillset…

  6. CC '08 Says:

    I have a unique opinion to offer, since Jen did just beat me out for a job. You all may be thinking, wow, this guy’s fairly pathetic to be bested by the whiny girl who can’t get her own cats to like her, let alone seek gainful employment. However, I am STILL an UNDERGRAD, and the position was a senior staff position in an office on the Hill where I’d done an internship two summers ago. The sole reason for hiring her over me, according to the COS, was her start date was sooner than mine (I do still have to graduate…an obnoxious little impediment to my career I suppose). But it’s still a little sad. I was offered the same job as some one who from the sounds of things has single-handedly rectified all problems in the Middle-East, as well as of Starbucks, and I’m not blaming the economy. But she’ll do well. Hope the congressional office in which she’ll be working knows that were in heavy competition with the local Borders for her invaluable skillset…

  7. CC '08 Says:

    I have a unique opinion to offer, since Jen did just beat me out for a job. You all may be thinking, wow, this guy’s fairly pathetic to be bested by the whiny girl who can’t get her own cats to like her, let alone seek gainful employment. However, I am STILL an UNDERGRAD, and the position was a senior staff position in an office on the Hill where I’d done an internship two summers ago. The sole reason for hiring her over me, according to the COS, was her start date was sooner than mine (I do still have to graduate…an obnoxious little impediment to my career I suppose). But it’s still a little sad. I was offered the same job as some one who from the sounds of things has single-handedly rectified all problems in the Middle-East, as well as of Starbucks, and I’m not blaming the economy. But she’ll do well. Hope the congressional office in which she’ll be working knows that were in heavy competition with the local Borders for her invaluable skillset…

  8. CC '08 Says:

    I have a unique opinion to offer, since Jen did just beat me out for a job. You all may be thinking, wow, this guy’s fairly pathetic to be bested by the whiny girl who can’t get her own cats to like her, let alone seek gainful employment. However, I am STILL an UNDERGRAD, and the position was a senior staff position in an office on the Hill where I’d done an internship two summers ago. The sole reason for hiring her over me, according to the COS, was her start date was sooner than mine (I do still have to graduate…an obnoxious little impediment to my career I suppose). But it’s still a little sad. I was offered the same job as some one who from the sounds of things has single-handedly rectified all problems in the Middle-East, as well as of Starbucks, and I’m not blaming the economy. But she’ll do well. Hope the congressional office in which she’ll be working knows that were in heavy competition with the local Borders for her invaluable skillset…

  9. CC 08 Says:

    I have a unique opinion to offer, since Jen did just beat me out for a job. You all may be thinking, wow, this guy’s fairly pathetic to be bested by the whiny girl who can’t get her own cats to like her, let alone seek gainful employment. However, I am STILL an UNDERGRAD, and the position was a senior staff position in an office on the Hill where I’d done an internship two summers ago. The sole reason for hiring her over me, according to the COS, was her start date was sooner than mine (I do still have to graduate…an obnoxious little impediment to my career I suppose). But it’s still a little sad. I was offered the same job as some one who from the sounds of things has single-handedly rectified all problems in the Middle-East, as well as of Starbucks, and I’m not blaming the economy. But she’ll do well. Hope the congressional office in which she’ll be working knows that were in heavy competition with the local Borders for her invaluable skillset…

  10. CC 08 Says:

    I have a unique opinion to offer, since Jen did just beat me out for a job. You all may be thinking, wow, this guy’s fairly pathetic to be bested by the whiny girl who can’t get her own cats to like her, let alone seek gainful employment. However, I am STILL an UNDERGRAD, and the position was a senior staff position in an office on the Hill where I’d done an internship two summers ago. The sole reason for hiring her over me, according to the COS, was her start date was sooner than mine (I do still have to graduate…an obnoxious little impediment to my career I suppose). But it’s still a little sad. I was offered the same job as some one who from the sounds of things has single-handedly rectified all problems in the Middle-East, as well as of Starbucks, and I’m not blaming the economy. But she’ll do well. Hope the congressional office in which she’ll be working knows that were in heavy competition with the local Borders for her invaluable skillset…

  11. CC 08 Says:

    I have a unique opinion to offer, since Jen did just beat me out for a job. You all may be thinking, wow, this guy’s fairly pathetic to be bested by the whiny girl who can’t get her own cats to like her, let alone seek gainful employment. However, I am STILL an UNDERGRAD, and the position was a senior staff position in an office on the Hill where I’d done an internship two summers ago. The sole reason for hiring her over me, according to the COS, was her start date was sooner than mine (I do still have to graduate…an obnoxious little impediment to my career I suppose). But it’s still a little sad. I was offered the same job as some one who from the sounds of things has single-handedly rectified all problems in the Middle-East, as well as of Starbucks, and I’m not blaming the economy. But she’ll do well. Hope the congressional office in which she’ll be working knows that were in heavy competition with the local Borders for her invaluable skillset…

  12. CC 08 Says:

    I have a unique opinion to offer, since Jen did just beat me out for a job. You all may be thinking, wow, this guy’s fairly pathetic to be bested by the whiny girl who can’t get her own cats to like her, let alone seek gainful employment. However, I am STILL an UNDERGRAD, and the position was a senior staff position in an office on the Hill where I’d done an internship two summers ago. The sole reason for hiring her over me, according to the COS, was her start date was sooner than mine (I do still have to graduate…an obnoxious little impediment to my career I suppose). But it’s still a little sad. I was offered the same job as some one who from the sounds of things has single-handedly rectified all problems in the Middle-East, as well as of Starbucks, and I’m not blaming the economy. But she’ll do well. Hope the congressional office in which she’ll be working knows that were in heavy competition with the local Borders for her invaluable skillset…

  13. Rizzy Says:

    It’s ok, everyone. She got hired: http://chandler.house.gov/ArticleDetails.aspx?NewsID=1452

  14. Rizzy Says:

    It’s ok, everyone. She got hired: http://chandler.house.gov/ArticleDetails.aspx?NewsID=1452

  15. oldsocialworker Says:

    An economy improves when jobs are plentiful. Jobs become plentiful when taxes are lower, regulations are reasonable, and the threat of frivolous litigation is kept in check. This only happens when government is smaller and governs rather than assumes the role big business- big unaccountable business at that. Only a strong private sector can create a robust economy, and too many people, I’m afraid, have forgotten this unequivocal truth and are turning to the painfully dead end of socialism for solutions.

  16. oldsocialworker Says:

    An economy improves when jobs are plentiful. Jobs become plentiful when taxes are lower, regulations are reasonable, and the threat of frivolous litigation is kept in check. This only happens when government is smaller and governs rather than assumes the role big business- big unaccountable business at that. Only a strong private sector can create a robust economy, and too many people, I’m afraid, have forgotten this unequivocal truth and are turning to the painfully dead end of socialism for solutions.

  17. Westminster79 Says:

    Hmmm, Where do I start? Well, it is just now after midnight in Kentucky, so it’s early in the morning. I am John Clayton. I grew up with Jennifer’s Father. She has a very large family. Now some of you ‘educated’ people might start wrinting more hatefull things relating to in-breeding etc,. That’s so cliche’. It also does not take any thought. Others have presented people from Kentucky as ignorant, mostly toothless, inbreds.

    I am very proud of Jennifer Krimm. I can not begin to say how angry I am. Angry as if someone just came to my door and said terrible, untrue and unwarranted things about my own daughter to my face.

    Jen did go to Dartmouth. In fact, the car she drove there and back to her home in Kentucky is right outside my door. The Dartmouth sticker is still on the rear glass. I am proud of that. And, as I said, I am proud of her. Her accomplishments. Through her own hard work, and help from her parents, and encouragement from a loving and supporting family, Jennifer has acheived much. She is a role-model in our family. An example of what hard work and perseverence can accomplish. Her Grandfather served in WW2 in the Pacific. some of you might label her, because of that, the offspring of a war-mongerer. No. He was doing his duty. And I am proud of my Uncle, her Grandfather also. He was a professor after the war.

    I read her article from the Washington Post for the first time tonight. She never mentioned it to us, the fact she was “published”. I know her. To be “published” means little or nothing to her.

    It is obvious that those of you who attack her do not know her. If you did, you would not say such hatefull things.

    When I read the article, I saw humor and playfullness. Perhaps a stress-reliever others in her plight could relate to. Some people probably read it and thought, “I can relate to that”. Or maybe, ” If it can happen to an Ivy-leaguer, then I guess we are all in the same boat”.

    For those of you who want to attack Jen Krimm, why don’t you come on down to Kentucky. Visit her family. Let’s have an open discussion about the issues. Perhaps over a beer.

    That’s how President Obama did it. I like his diplomacy in that regard.

  18. Westminster79 Says:

    Hmmm, Where do I start? Well, it is just now after midnight in Kentucky, so it’s early in the morning. I am John Clayton. I grew up with Jennifer’s Father. She has a very large family. Now some of you ‘educated’ people might start wrinting more hatefull things relating to in-breeding etc,. That’s so cliche’. It also does not take any thought. Others have presented people from Kentucky as ignorant, mostly toothless, inbreds.

    I am very proud of Jennifer Krimm. I can not begin to say how angry I am. Angry as if someone just came to my door and said terrible, untrue and unwarranted things about my own daughter to my face.

    Jen did go to Dartmouth. In fact, the car she drove there and back to her home in Kentucky is right outside my door. The Dartmouth sticker is still on the rear glass. I am proud of that. And, as I said, I am proud of her. Her accomplishments. Through her own hard work, and help from her parents, and encouragement from a loving and supporting family, Jennifer has acheived much. She is a role-model in our family. An example of what hard work and perseverence can accomplish. Her Grandfather served in WW2 in the Pacific. some of you might label her, because of that, the offspring of a war-mongerer. No. He was doing his duty. And I am proud of my Uncle, her Grandfather also. He was a professor after the war.

    I read her article from the Washington Post for the first time tonight. She never mentioned it to us, the fact she was “published”. I know her. To be “published” means little or nothing to her.

    It is obvious that those of you who attack her do not know her. If you did, you would not say such hatefull things.

    When I read the article, I saw humor and playfullness. Perhaps a stress-reliever others in her plight could relate to. Some people probably read it and thought, “I can relate to that”. Or maybe, ” If it can happen to an Ivy-leaguer, then I guess we are all in the same boat”.

    For those of you who want to attack Jen Krimm, why don’t you come on down to Kentucky. Visit her family. Let’s have an open discussion about the issues. Perhaps over a beer.

    That’s how President Obama did it. I like his diplomacy in that regard.

  19. hedgehog Says:

    The post is about a year late, but Westminster79 speaks the truth. Jenn rocks.

  20. hedgehog Says:

    The post is about a year late, but Westminster79 speaks the truth. Jenn rocks.

  21. Josh Says:

    I’ve known Jenn for 10 years now. She’s an intelligent, caring and passionate person -an absolute winner. Her story got published in the Washington Post (a top tier newspaper). Hedgehog speaks the truth. Jenn rocks.

  22. Josh Says:

    I’ve known Jenn for 10 years now. She’s an intelligent, caring and passionate person -an absolute winner. Her story got published in the Washington Post (a top tier newspaper). Hedgehog speaks the truth. Jenn rocks.

  23. Counselor Says:

    I’m not sure who the counselor was that was quoted in this article, but this counselor (who was Jennifer’s senior counselor) never made a commenet like this nor tore up an application to Yale!!!! In my educational career, Jennifer has been one of the top students ever; would never discourage a student from pursuing their dreams.

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