Harvard’s Very Magical Commencement Speaker

Harvard's Very Magical Commencement SpeakerIt looks like Spawn-of-Satan Drew Faust’s magical kingdom will have an extra-special magical visitor this spring. That’s right: J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, will speak at this year’s Harvard commencement.

But what will Rowling talk about? Will she finger Faust (rightly!) as the inspiration for Voldemort? Will she further advance Dumbledore’s homosexual agenda?

Last year, Bill Gates spoke at commencement, a day after Bill Clinton gave the Class Day address. According to the Crimson, though, it looks like Rowling might be the bigger hit:

Last July, on the eve of the release of the seventh and final book, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,” dozens of restaurants and stores in Harvard Square stayed open late and posted Harry Potter-themed specials, Tercentenary Theater hosted a three-hour concert that featured the musical stylings of Harry and the Potters, and hundreds of Harry Potter fans, many in wizard costumes, lined up outside the Coop to purchase a copy at the stroke of midnight.”

I can’t wait to see all the nerds ditch their gowns and mortarboards for some good old-fashioned wizard costumes.

  • Uncle Toby

    Mmm, more about Hahvahd! Good to see Crimson getting the multipost attention and “news” monopoly it deserves.

  • Uncle Toby

    Mmm, more about Hahvahd! Good to see Crimson getting the multipost attention and “news” monopoly it deserves.

  • h’11

    that’s cuz we’re in full swing, biatch.

  • h’11

    that’s cuz we’re in full swing, biatch.

  • d08

    so is dartmouth

  • d08

    so is dartmouth

  • Penn ’08

    So is Penn, but all we have to offer is more student-committed crime.

  • Penn ’08

    So is Penn, but all we have to offer is more student-committed crime.

  • Man

    columbia sucks… we get the worst fucking speakers

  • Man

    columbia sucks… we get the worst fucking speakers

  • FrancieNolan, Amherst 10

    Screw Amherst – all we get is our (puffed up) president to speak every year. This takes the cake. I would give my right hand to have Jo speak at my commencement.

  • FrancieNolan, Amherst 10

    Screw Amherst – all we get is our (puffed up) president to speak every year. This takes the cake. I would give my right hand to have Jo speak at my commencement.

  • princeton

    we’ve got steven colbert…take that hahvahd

  • princeton

    we’ve got steven colbert…take that hahvahd

  • awesome-o

    what’s amherst?

  • awesome-o

    what’s amherst?

  • Green ’09

    Yeah, why would an Amherst student feel so compelled to share their school’s goings-on by a comment on this blog? Why is he or she even reading this blog to begin with?

  • Green ’09

    Yeah, why would an Amherst student feel so compelled to share their school’s goings-on by a comment on this blog? Why is he or she even reading this blog to begin with?

  • boomboompants

    this be wack yo

  • boomboompants

    this be wack yo

  • FrancieNolan

    Oh, well, my friend e-mailed the story to me (I’m a big Harry Potter fan) and I was just really jealous, so I felt like commenting. And if I did read this blog, what would it matter to you? I like to keep up with what’s going on at the schools my friends attend, thank you very much.

  • FrancieNolan

    Oh, well, my friend e-mailed the story to me (I’m a big Harry Potter fan) and I was just really jealous, so I felt like commenting. And if I did read this blog, what would it matter to you? I like to keep up with what’s going on at the schools my friends attend, thank you very much.

  • y10

    noo wee r an elite group. u cant talk a bout dee ivy leag unless ur in it. go awey non ivy ppl.

    /grow up, guys.

  • y10

    noo wee r an elite group. u cant talk a bout dee ivy leag unless ur in it. go awey non ivy ppl.

    /grow up, guys.

  • H08

    You know, Princeton, it is really, really awesome that Stephen Colbert is coming to speak at your school.

    He wouldn’t be a very good option for Harvard though, since he came here anyway last year, filmed an episode, gave a speech and all that.

    It’s so tough to impress Harvard people – we’re just so spoiled with wonderful speakers coming to our campus all year, every year.

    Enjoy Colbert’s speech. He was a hit here last year. So were Bill Gates and Bill Clinton.

  • H08

    You know, Princeton, it is really, really awesome that Stephen Colbert is coming to speak at your school.

    He wouldn’t be a very good option for Harvard though, since he came here anyway last year, filmed an episode, gave a speech and all that.

    It’s so tough to impress Harvard people – we’re just so spoiled with wonderful speakers coming to our campus all year, every year.

    Enjoy Colbert’s speech. He was a hit here last year. So were Bill Gates and Bill Clinton.

  • Columbia 09

    My friend told me Bill Gates spoke at Princeton in ’05 and Bill Clinton spoke in ’06. And apparently they coaxed Bill Gates to come with this made up Crystal Tiger award.

  • Columbia 09

    My friend told me Bill Gates spoke at Princeton in ’05 and Bill Clinton spoke in ’06. And apparently they coaxed Bill Gates to come with this made up Crystal Tiger award.

  • p ’08

    Yeah, Bill Clinton spoke at Princeton’s graduation two years ago–nice try, Harvard, but you’re late to the party again. Admittedly, Bradley Whitford was a bit of a letdown after that, but (and maybe this is revealing a bit about myself) it would be nice if we could score a visit from the Oracle of Omaha.

  • p ’08

    Yeah, Bill Clinton spoke at Princeton’s graduation two years ago–nice try, Harvard, but you’re late to the party again. Admittedly, Bradley Whitford was a bit of a letdown after that, but (and maybe this is revealing a bit about myself) it would be nice if we could score a visit from the Oracle of Omaha.

  • H08

    More important question: Why the hell does it matter who the commencement speaker is?

  • H08

    More important question: Why the hell does it matter who the commencement speaker is?

  • Columbia09

    Who the hell is speaking at Columbia’s commencement?

  • Columbia09

    Who the hell is speaking at Columbia’s commencement?

  • Yalie07

    Shit, I’m jealous. Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and now J.K. Rowling?! All I had was Fareed Zakaria who copied the beginning of Matthew Fox’s Class Day speech. I wonder who will be Class Day speaker for Yale ’08. I hope it is at least someone decent!

  • Yalie07

    Shit, I’m jealous. Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and now J.K. Rowling?! All I had was Fareed Zakaria who copied the beginning of Matthew Fox’s Class Day speech. I wonder who will be Class Day speaker for Yale ’08. I hope it is at least someone decent!

  • littlegreenbulldog

    come on, Yalie07, I thought Zakaria’s speech was pretty good. And don’t we have some dumb requirement stipulating that only alumni shall be invited to speak at Class Day? That limits our options right there.

    ’08 friends are telling me they’ll announce this year’s Class Day speaker in a few days.

  • littlegreenbulldog

    come on, Yalie07, I thought Zakaria’s speech was pretty good. And don’t we have some dumb requirement stipulating that only alumni shall be invited to speak at Class Day? That limits our options right there.

    ’08 friends are telling me they’ll announce this year’s Class Day speaker in a few days.

  • columbia 08

    ummm, who is columbia’s speaker? because, even though it was announced yesterday, I had to google him to figure out who the hell he was. So enjoy the fact that your schools don’t suck, and that I’m starting to wish I’d taken that Princeton offer instead.

  • columbia 08

    ummm, who is columbia’s speaker? because, even though it was announced yesterday, I had to google him to figure out who the hell he was. So enjoy the fact that your schools don’t suck, and that I’m starting to wish I’d taken that Princeton offer instead.

  • Columbia 08

    We don’t get “good” class day speakers because:
    1) They need to be affiliated with Columbia
    and
    2) THEY HAVE TO DO IT FOR FREE.

    Naturally, these conditions exclude most celebrities, etc.

  • Columbia 08

    We don’t get “good” class day speakers because:
    1) They need to be affiliated with Columbia
    and
    2) THEY HAVE TO DO IT FOR FREE.

    Naturally, these conditions exclude most celebrities, etc.