BREAKING NEWS: VAYNER’S BACK!
Aleksey Vayner — batshit megalomaniac, irrepressible fabulist, and mighty douchebag of legend — is baaaack. And he’s learned nothing. If you visit his website directly (www.alekseyvayner.com), there’s nothing to see, but click the directory “test,” and you’re granted access to the innermost scheming of Vayner’s non-existent soul. It appears to be a terrible rough draft of something possibly even more terrible.
What do you do after you become an internet phenom, subject to interweb-wide flogging and public humiliation? If you’re Vayner, you proceed as though basically nothing has happened. You insist on the genius of the “Impossible is Nothing” video by disregarding the “mockery” from the “the kids in the bloggosphere [sic]” and claiming the just fruits of “international publicity” for having “created a marketing peace [yes, that's another sic] of himself.”
The website’s main point is ostensibly to promote Vayner’s (theoretically) forthcoming book Millionaires’ Blueprint to Success (remember his previously forthcoming book? His Holocaust memoir?). Suspiciously, the cover is almost an exact copy of the similarly titled Secrets of the Millionaire’s Mind by T. Harv Eker. I’m sure the contents are totally different though. Is this kid retarded?
Also, a tipster notes certain design similarities between Vayner’s website and Tim Ferriss’s website, mutual douchebaggery aside (check out the buttons). Of course much of the website is unfinished — “Comming soon [sic]” is plastered all over the place. Is this website fake? It could be, but we don’t think so. The site’s frequent and amusing deficiencies of language are consistent with Vayner’s poor grasp of English. It’s just over-the-top enough to be Vayner and just restrained enough to hint at lessons still unlearned. It’s also registered in his name.
After the jump — choice excerpts from Vayner’s totally modest and not-obviously-made-up life-story (“Aleksey Vayner’s story is one of discipline and perseverance thought the hardships of immigration”), a damning cover comparison between Millionaires’ Blueprint to Success and Secrets of the Millionaire’s Mind, and a few screen-shots for good measure.
Here are the respective covers of The Millionaires’ Blueprint to Success and Secrets of the Millionaire’s Mind. Are they the same? You be the judge. (Nah, just kidding, I’m the judge, and they’re almost identical!)
From Aleksey’s self-ghostwritten biography:
Aleksey Vayner first received international publicity as a student at Yale University when he created a marketing peace of himself – a video, titled Impossible is Nothing, where he summed up his view on ’success’ and showcased some of his athletic pursuits. He received his share of mockery from kids in the bloggosphere, but more notably, was featured in NY Times, interviewed by Yale herald, and appeared on MsNBC News and 20/20. CBS News’ The Early Show segment on video resumes, Video Resumes Get The Job Done, credited Aleksey Vayner for opening people’s eyes to the idea, “creating a more powerful, authentic method to connect with a potential employer,” and potentially making the 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper an “endangered species.”
Yeah that’s the ticket — “creating a more, powerful, authentic method” to embarass yourself in front of tens of millions of people…
The early years:
The youngest of three siblings, Aleksey is born in Tashkent, Uzbekistan to Ph.D. parents. His father, abusive to the family, indulges in hobbies that included professional rock climbing, Olympic-level swimming, and skiing. “From a very early age I followed suit, climbing a lot, and spending winters skiing – training under his friend who was even better at skiing,” says Aleksey. The abuse of the father does not last, and to cope with the impending divorce Aleksey’s mother proceeds to occupy his mind and time with every extra-curricular activity possible; soccer, swimming, ping-pong, skiing, martial arts, tennis – you name it; Aleksey sticks with the later three. His tennis coach suggests he plays a soccer goalie because Aleksey cannot run.”
This stuff about the “abuse of the father” is extremely interesting (both grammatically and psychologically), as is his mother’s attempt to occupy young Aleksey with a overwhelming range of activities in order to “cope with the impending divorce.” Is this the root of Vayner’s pathology? Is his insecurity over an absent father the cause of his obsessional compulsion to create a mythology around himself? — around his de facto bastardy? Is his father’s lack of validation why Aleksey is continually driven to secure it from others, going to outlandish lengths to do so (video, resume, book, website)? Hey Dad, look at me, you can come back now (?).
On coming to America:
Leaving Tashkent we each had a bag of clothing, but mine was stolen out of our cabin on our way to Moscow,” explains Aleksey. Furnishing their subbasement room, clothing and feeding himself from the garbage heaps marked his new life in America. “I remember the first New Year we had in the U.S. We had 4 large ripe oranges on the table that my mom found on the site of a street – nothing else. A series of events and humiliation that I felt for my mom and sis as the result of such poverty made me vow that we will never experience such financial strain ever again. Obsessed with the lifestyle of the affluent businessmen and professional athletes, Aleksey begins to study in detail what they do and how they do it.”
What the hell? Four large ripe oranges? Food from a garbage heap? A “subbasement”? Is that even a thing? Also, isn’t this basically the plot of Gone With the Wind with a little Great Gatsby thrown in for good measure?
Some Yale memories:
Aleksey Vayner is recruited to Ivy Leagues, of which he chooses Yale University. During freshman year he recalls nearly failing introductory macroeconomics because he was up for 3 days developing a high probability derivative strategy based off of the Black-Scholles options pricing model. “It was crazy, I could really create options spreads to hit the wings of the bell, and take profits with an average probability of 96%!”
Yeah, that sounds really crazy. Can someone who knows economics tell us if this is BS?
The present:
While at Yale University Aleksey picked up ballroom dancing and weight lifting, but maintained his focus on his core sports, and his extracurricular studies of investment management and personal development. By graduation he has competed in ballroom, leg pressed 1650lbs, bench pressed 520lbs, started 3 businesses and a non-profit organization. Aleksey Vayner is a registered investment advisor with Securities and Exchange Commission. He is pending Certified Financial Planner and Certified Financial Analyst certifications. Aleksey is a member of USTA, ISBDF, ADFPF, SCIP, National Association of Public Speakers, and National Writers Association.”
Questions? Comments? Aleksey’s a busy man, but feel free:
Before contacting me, please check out my blog. It is likely that your question has been answered in one of the entries. If that is not the case, you can send an email to askaleksey@alekseyvayner.com. The more constructive the inquiry, the more likely it is to be forwarded to me directly by the site administrator. I can’t always respond to questions personally (though at times I do)…let alone in a timely fashion -but a frequently asked question is likely to appear in my blog entry.
Unfortunately, as he’s already a millionaire and an insane person, Aleksey probably doesn’t have time for you.
Here’s a screenshot of his homepage, here’s one of his (auto)biography, and here’s his very special contact info. The last lists Christian P. Stueben as the contact for inquiries regarding the video “Impossible is Nothing.” Is this Aleksey’s agent? High-powered lawyer? Not exactly. According to FindLaw, Christian P. Stueben is a personal-injury attorney based in Fort Lee, NJ.
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January 5th, 2008 at 3:41 am
http://www.alekseyvayner.com/test/blog.php?bid=
Which muppet does your boss resemble most?
January 5th, 2008 at 3:46 am
according to the results, “Asking for a raise” is winning
January 5th, 2008 at 4:36 am
Since a “derivative strategy” for options pricing is responsible for billions of dollars changing hands in corporate finance, and that Black and Scholes [sic, again] won the Nobel prize in economics for that model ten years ago, it seems like three sleep-deprived days would not produce a winning model, let alone by (1) a freshman, (2) a non-economics major, and (3) at a university with an economics department that has one finance course and otherwise completely ignores practical applications of economics to business.
I’m calling bullshit.
January 5th, 2008 at 5:43 am
How the fuck did this dolt get into yale? And why does he not crawl back into a (martial arts) cave in shame? These are the questions that keep me up at night.
The ultimate conclusion to this story would be him getting a Nobel prize in economics shortly after releasing his sextape with giselle bundchen, for which he receives a Pulitzer and makes a million dollars. Then he could invest it, using his “high probability derivative strategy” to invest in time-travel research. He will invent a time machine, win another Nobel,then (thankfully) he could undo all this ridiculousness, traveling back to a time when his self-indulgent father loved him, and he didn’t have to be a pathological liar.
January 5th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Want to creep yourself out? Aleksey’s site’s graphics has the Twin Towers here: http://www.alekseyvayner.com/test/blog.php?bid=
but not here: http://alekseyvaynerblog.com/test/index.php.
In conclusion, I think he’s behind 9-11 and vote Ron Paul?
January 5th, 2008 at 9:50 am
My favorite line is “They arrive without a word of English, without money or even clothing.”
Naked immigrants!! Whooo!!!
January 5th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Here’s the whois info:
Registrant:
aleksey Vayner
175 park street #3A
New Haven, Connecticut 06511
United States
Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
Domain Name: ALEKSEYVAYNER.COM
Created on: 19-Apr-06
Expires on: 19-Apr-08
Last Updated on: 25-Dec-07
Administrative Contact:
Vayner, aleksey shoaib@digitallinx.com
175 park street #3A
New Haven, Connecticut 06511
United States
2034347513 Fax –
Technical Contact:
Vayner, aleksey shoaib@digitallinx.com
175 park street #3A
New Haven, Connecticut 06511
United States
2034347513 Fax –
Domain servers in listed order:
NS715.HOSTGATOR.COM
NS716.HOSTGATOR.COM
January 5th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Take it from an math/econ major: The 96% success rate formula is BS. Especially since it is based off the non-existent “Black-Scholles” model. No “high probability derivative strategy”, even if based on the Nobel Prize-winning Black-SCHOLES model can “create options spreads to hit the wings of the bell”.
January 5th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
He probably heard of the program, FundCreator, the one developed by some princeton grad.
January 5th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
He’s also in violation of the CFP and probably the CFA trademarks. You can’t use them (“I’m working towards…”, e.g.) unless you have them.
January 5th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Vayner should be forced to marry Lena Chen. It would work more towards Lena Chen’s favor though.
January 5th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Hey, he stole my slogan–”Think and Grow Rich”.
January 5th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
How did this guy get into Yale?
January 5th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Glad to see Vayner survived 2007 and is back to amuse us for 2008. Looking at the whois info, we can see that his last update was on Christmas day; how considerate of him to gift the world with a website that we can now rip apart. Why the hell does he keep putting himself in our sights, it’s like he’s asking to be ridiculed?
January 5th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
wohoo! I would have been disappointed had he not come back for second round.
January 5th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
brilliant! just like william hung
January 5th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
can we have him?
January 5th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
I’m disappointed by Vayner. He shows a clear lack of care in his writing and demonstrates that he doesn’t learn from his mistakes. Why’s he still living in New Haven? I infer that his bike crash – lawsuit story is the one thing that’s actually true, as I bet the NJ personal injury attorney he lists on his website is the one he used for the lawsuit. This should be a further warning to the admissions committee – do a bs test on your applications and stop admitting people with low standardized test scores! There’s no way Vayner scored high unless of course he paid someone to impersonate him and take the test for him – something that should be rendered impossible. Oh, and as for the “Black Scholles” thing, it’s not improbable because we have too theoretical of an econ department – after all, Vayner did list five SOM courses he “audited” – but rather because a new derivatives trading strategy would have to depart from the conventional Black-Scholes model that everyone uses to be profitable and because trading at the “wings of the bell” has enormous liquidity constraints, which would be near-impossible to overcome if one wanted such a high probability of success, which could only result from market-making or arbitrage. I just hope the taxes I pay never provide for a “refugee” like Mr. Vayner.
VOTE FOR RON PAUL – THE ONLY RATIONAL CHOICE FOR AMERICA
January 6th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Thanks for removing Lena Chen from the top of the page.
January 7th, 2008 at 9:26 am
re. Black-Scholes and the “wings of the bell”.
It’s easy enough to develop an options strategy that is designed to produce profits 96% of the time. It should not have taken him three all-nighters. The strategy is to write options contracts (sell them short) that are so far out of the money that the expectation is that 96% of the time they will expire worthless. When this happens, the premium you receive will be your profit. The expected 4% of the time the security’s underlying price moves beyond the option’s previously out of the money strike price, you will have a loss. Don’t be misled into thinking Aleksey has discovered a money machine. First, because the options being written are so far out of the money, the prices received will be quite low while the losses you expect to incur 4% of the time will be quite a bit larger (96% of tiny profits – 4% of larger losses could still = a net loss). Second, as a retail investor/speculator one will get killed by transactions costs in the form of spreads and commissions (the liquidity constraints cited by RON PAUL 2008).
While all this is certainly entertaining, I have to ask, has anyone actually met this guy and sat down and counseled him about how all this appears?
January 7th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Something he says makes me think he’s regurgitating something he got elsewhere: “hitting the wings of the bell.”
He’s either referring to the tails of a normal density or to the shape of the payoff from a butterfly spread (one of the ways another a-hole, Nick Leeson, bankrupted Barings).
A butterfly strategy making money 96% of the time? Not after transactions costs. Maybe he does mean writing OOM puts. If so, I hope he puts all his money into it, maybe even get a loan and invest that.
“Black-Scholles”? How about some “Make-a-wish” portfolio optimization and the “Miller/Mo’-Dick-Like-Me” Theorem. Make sure you price with Angle and Ballerslev’s GORCH volatilities. I’ll give Vayner FIVE large ripe oranges to shut up already.
January 7th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Does anyone find it strange that, considering all the press Vayner has gotten, no one has really dug up any information about his actual pre-Yale life?
January 7th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
best thing: one of the links at the bottom is about how to lose 32lbs in 29 days. arbitrary numbers much?
January 8th, 2008 at 10:54 am
according to the website info, he lives next door to me!!!
January 8th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
why is everyone spending so much time examining the economic theory he supposedly developed? all this new site proves is that vayner is mentally ill and has found a way to reconcile last year’s shaming with his unbelievably inflated (and delusional) self image.
January 8th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
and how has no one extensively commented on his TERRIBLE grammar? furthermore, it says that he is a “pending Certified Financial Analyst”. To get your CFA, it takes 3 years of rigorous study and 1 test per year. If you are enrolled in the program, it isn’t “pending”. Plus, there is no way he could have gotten his CFA while also studying at Yale. I don’t even think he actually graduated, I’m pretty sure he took a leave of absence.
January 8th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
He did graduate, though also took a leave of absence after his freshman year.
January 8th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
This douche ought to hire John Fitzgerald Page as his PR guy.
January 8th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
The whole webpage looks like a hoax/parody. The biography is unmistakably sarcastic.
January 8th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
If y’all could report on Larry David’s visit to Dartmouth, it would be appreciated.
January 8th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
david
January 9th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Vayner should try scientology
January 10th, 2008 at 9:22 am
or heaven’s gate
January 10th, 2008 at 11:36 am
How often do you want to kill a co-worker?
Never. I’m as calm as a Hindu cow.
More than twice a week
Every workday
???????????????????????? whaaaat…
January 10th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
I think my eyes are bleeding from the grammar.
January 11th, 2008 at 3:37 am
This is clearly a joke…
For the whois info … you can put anything you want, they don’t go to your address and make sure you actually live there. So long as the hosting company its own field for the credit card info, you can enter something different into the whois database.
Do a google search for that email address: shoaib@digitallinx.com — you get this website:
http://shoaib.digitallinx.com/
which is also linked to from this one
http://forum.swsoft.com/member.php?u=10714
Apparently the guy’s name is Shoaib Raiz, he’s 25, and from Pakistan. So this doesn’t look like Aleksy to me.
Hokay, back to finals…
January 11th, 2008 at 3:45 am
Sorry for some reason i ended up posting that twice… so now i will spam you more by apologizing
January 13th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
In Ireland studying my accounting exams. Watching his video CV has me all laughed out. I might use his expertise in medicine to realign my funny bone. How the hell did he get in to Yale???
January 13th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
I got into Princeton based on plaigarized essays and glowing teacher recommendations I wrote myself (“…in my 30 years of teaching I have never encountered a student with such potential as Rick…”), so with his clinical mania he could have probably come up with even better.
January 17th, 2008 at 10:11 am
I say put this guy on The Apprentice for another public flogging. He makes Omarosa look ‘with it’.
January 17th, 2008 at 10:23 am
I spent the last few minutes perusing Vayner information and trying to decide if I should apologize for posting twice. Sorry!
February 6th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Hey “old guy”, he can’t be in violation of the CFA trademark because there’s no such thing as a Certified Financial Analyst. Now, if he said CHARTERED Financial Analyst…
February 6th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Hey “old guy”, he can’t be in violation of the CFA trademark because there’s no such thing as a Certified Financial Analyst. Now, if he said CHARTERED Financial Analyst…
February 17th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Robert Hamburger strikes again! :D
This time he takes on the wannabe bigwigs ^^
February 17th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Robert Hamburger strikes again! :D
This time he takes on the wannabe bigwigs ^^
April 15th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
He’s a winner at computer security too. Download the .zip and you can see that he keeps his mysql database password in /includes/conn.php
April 17th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Aleksey and that fake abortion art broad should get married. On the other hand, if she ever carried anything to term it would probably be the Anti-Christ.
April 17th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Aleksey and that fake abortion art broad should get married. On the other hand, if she ever carried anything to term it would probably be the Anti-Christ.
April 23rd, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Err… not only DB login info can be found inside the zip file. Check doc/.
May 7th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Lol yes a lot of private information in doc format :) including tenchnorati passwords and stuff like that…
It’s funny :)
June 2nd, 2008 at 5:08 pm
I guess the site has not been renewed. All the links are dead :’( .
Oh well, perhaps he learned something.
April 4th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
The probable reason his book looks like T. Harv Eker’s is that they both used Private Label Rights. Basically, someone writes some content (articles/books/images/etc.) and sells it to a bunch of people to modify slightly and resell.
It’s basically a way to generate large amounts of spammy material.
June 2nd, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Does anyone know where he is now?
November 16th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Wow! what an Post ! What a blog ! where do you get all this info from.