IvyGate Flip-Flops: We Endorse Frances Martel For Harvard UC President!!!
That's right: we've done a complete 180. After thinking about things overnight (and reading this cogent analysis of the race),we've realized that Frances is actually pretty great and will stick it to the toolish establishmentarians of student government, questionable theological assertions and all.
Some reasons that Frances is awesome:
- Despite being a member of the Harvard College Republicans, Frances unanimously lost their endorsement.
- Her batshit crazy dad's blog reads like that of a right-wing Christiananarchisti.
- She wants to "destroy" The Crimson.
- She wants HBO in every dorm so that everyone can watch boxing.
- She writes for Ringtalk, some sort of boxing site.
- This excerpt from an email sent to Chris Lacaria, the current head of the Harvard Republicans and apparently Frances' sworn enemy.
The only thing I'm "reeling in disappointment" about is that humanity has to deal with your existence, and that because you go to this school there's a chance your tripe will be propagated to the masses. Oh, and I've never "casually lobbed" an insult at you that didn't come from the bottom of my heart, Mr. Lacaria."
- And then of course there's the whole fascist thing.
Note: this is not a joke. It's an actual endorsement. Please join her Facebook group here.
After the jump: the email exchange between Frances and Chris Lacaria, the jefe of the Harvard Republicans who declined to endorse her. It gives new meaning to the word "arch-nemesis."
Chris Lacaria:
Mr. Willey, while a Democrat, is a reliable conservative in the best understanding of the term, and several Republicans are working for his campaign. Mr. Sundquist, while ostensibly a "Republican," last year -- to the best of my memory -- agreed that religious organizations that required their officiers to be Christian were too exclusive to receive UC funding. I remember Mr. Kwong grilling Sundquist with a question about that topic, when the HRC president was personally supporting the Ali Zaidi ticket.
Also, ranking Frances Martel #2 won't matter at all, since the race will come down to Willey and Sundquist. If you select either of those tickets as first, you need not bother casting a vote for any other ticket since it will not mater.
Frances:
'Mr. Willey, while a Democrat, is a reliable conservative in the best understanding of the term.' In other words, Mr. Willey is rich and Anglo-Saxon (I refuse to use the term white to describe a group of which I am not a part). This is the most disgusting sentence I have read in, well, since the last time I read one of your articles. It's a real shame for Roy that he has such a revolting excuse for a human being as you on his side. And it's a shame that Jeff Kwong is out of office for one week and the HRC degenerates into what it was my freshman year (in many other occasions I have expanded upon what I found myself facing as a non-WASP republican freshman in fall 2005).
Also, unless you have some sort of inside info in the UC that no one else has, claiming that you know what the election will "come down to" is ridiculous. You never know who will take it, and I don't want to actively promote myself in any email or ask for support, but with enough people that care about student government and have a sense of humor behind us, it's possible that we take it. But I guess this is just run-of-the-mill gossip from you.
Sometimes I find you comical in the saddest of ways, Mr. Lacaria- the tragic hero that sacrificed himself for a corrupted noble cause. Other times, I pray to God to enlighten me on why He allows people like you to exist. This is not one of those times, and I'd rather not go into detail about what I wish towards you at the moment, for fear of "mouthing off embarrassingly" or whatever you claimed it is I am prone to do.
Chris:
Miss Martel, I am sure you are just reeling from disappointment after the Executive Board did not endorse you earlier -- in their unanimous endorsement of Mr. Willey -- and do not mean the insults you have casually lobbed at me and the HRC executives.
Frances:
The only thing I'm "reeling in disappointment" about is that humanity has to deal with your existence, and that because you go to this school there's a chance your tripe will be propagated to the masses. Oh, and I've never "casually lobbed" an insult at you that didn't come from the bottom of my heart, Mr. Lacaria.
That said, it's my mistake to lump the decent folk that run this club, that I have sincere affection for, together with the likes of you. The HRC execs, or at least the ones I am fortunate enough to know and consider friends, are wonderful people and do have the best for the club in mind, and they have to take care of their own kind, and that's understandable. I hope none of you good people misinterpret my- I believe- understandable rage at certain statements sent out through this list, that has nothing to do with any of you.
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December 6th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
The only possible reason to endorse Martel would be out of a sincere and deep-seated loathing of Harvard as an institution.
Vote Frances!
December 6th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
It’s good to see that Harvard has a healthy political spectrum spanning from “republican” to “conservative”
December 6th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/12/03/lone_boy_on_campus/
“I like to believe I’m curious.” D ‘10 @ Wellesley
December 6th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
Christiananarchist hasn’t appeared yet…I wonder when (s)he/it will show up. (Notice I haven’t applied any labels that could indicate my inherent gender bias).
December 6th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
And Wellesley isn’t Ivy.
December 6th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
I wish to point out that Mr.Lacaria is not head of the Harvard Republicans. His views are not endorsed by the Executive Team of the HRC, nor did Chris have any part in the HRC’s decision to endorse the Willey-Snow ticket.
December 6th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
In fact, I’ve heard a rumor that Chris Lacaria doesn’t really exist! (Note, for example, that he appears to live in four houses simultaneously, and that he holds political beliefs that were unanimously abandoned hundreds of years ago.)
December 6th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
why the fuck are these idiots referring to each other as Miss Martel and Mr. Lacaria? I feel like I’m stuck in some awful 50’s romance movie where Miss Martel will eventually be caught sloppily making out with Mr. Lacaria on his 50 foot yacht while they throw poor people to the sharks for entertainment.
and, as d10 said, a vote for frances is a vote against harvard- maybe this one will be on a publicly-accessible server too!
December 6th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
because, as normal, they were scooped by gawker: http://gawker.com/news/the-only-living-boy-in-wellesley/wellesley-girls-experiment-with-heterosexuality-330214.php
also, @poisonivylee: the guy is from dartmouth. expect to see a post on it here in about three days.
December 6th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
I like how most of the people who commented anonymously don’t go to Harvard.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
Ooooooh fascists, yummy. While my grandfather was awarded medals fighting the nazis, the rockefellers and standard oil, duponts, prescott bush, remington, jp morgan chase and other americans were paying for the nazis to battle the United Kingdom and the Commonwealth, providing them with gasoline and chemical secrets, funding the political support for adolf hitler, assisting them in the media campaigns, while henry ford was accepting the golden cross from adolf hitler for being such a consummate anti-semite. Am I supposed to want to be your neighbor or am I supposed to want you evil genocidal profiteers dead ? You weren’t the heros of WWII, you paid for it, sacrificed many of your own soldiers, but won the world. You sacked the Queen and Commonwealth, sacked Europe, sacked Asia, sacked Central America, set up South American dictators, supported Chinese revolutionaries trying to overthrow China while it was battling with Japan. You gave this band of supposed Chinese freedom fighters or terrorists their own fucking air force complete with the parts and technicians and logistics to use them. america won the world through war, blue chip mass murder and torture. You children have an interesting recollection of revisionist history yet to be accounted for. I pray to GOD to release us from the evil american death grip that starves a billion people a day every day. america will go down in history as the sickest group of satan worshipping frauds the world will ever know, petri dish procreating pinnochios plutocratic fascist naziesque orwellian roveianlly infanticidal caligulesque mengelesque smiley faced sadistic self medicating sociopathic infantile lemming parmecium shit with grandiose desires of beastiality.Not nearly nuff said.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
FINALLY!
Thanks, christianarchisti, that really hit the spot…
December 6th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
Go fuck yourself. If you had read the article, you’d see that the SUBJECT goes to Dartmouth. Fuckhead. You probably go to harvard and are jealous because at Wellesley, professors actually TEACH students.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:40 pm
When you think about it, christianarchisti really isn’t too far off, actually. I can’t believe that I’m agreeing with him. But I do have to admit that I often view my peers as “petri dish procreating pinnochios plutocratic fascist naziesque orwellian roveianlly infanticidal caligulesque mengelesque smiley faced sadistic self medicating sociopathic infantile lemming parmecium shit with grandiose desires of beastiality.” Haven’t you? Let’s be honest.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
stop hating on harvard. and also… no one at harvard is jealous of wellesley. trust me. no one.
something seriously went awry here.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Much obliged, IvyGate
December 6th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
you forgot machiavellian
December 6th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
Yes, jealousy is a bitch.
And I think christiananalrapisti hit the nail on the head; I aspire to bestiality. Paramecium shit. I think I’m getting hard.
December 6th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
It appears I took it a bit too far. Whatever.
December 7th, 2007 at 12:09 am
“In other words, Mr. Willey is rich and Anglo-Saxon (I refuse to use the term white to describe a group of which I am not a part).”
STUPIDEST LINE EVERY. SHE/HE/IT SHOULD BE SHOT.
December 7th, 2007 at 12:28 am
I wonder if christianarchisti posts everywhere on the web, or just on ivygate? I wonder if he/she is an ivy league student? Isn’t it funny to think of him/her in your English class? Calling Shakespeare a “pus-spewing patriarchal capitalist misogynist imperialist who masturbates to dead babies”?
Seriously, Ivygate, find out who christianarchisti is and do an interview. I won’t eat until you do.
Then endorse him for Harvard UC president.
December 7th, 2007 at 1:17 am
christianarchisti made a whole lot of sense in the post here today. he’s basically right.
December 7th, 2007 at 1:53 am
@ d10: are you REALLY that stupid? JUST GOOGLE THE NAME: christianarchisti …. my goodness, how did you ever get into this school? you fail me.
December 7th, 2007 at 1:59 am
“evil american death grip that starves a billion people a day every day”
I’VE got an idea: SHUT THE FUCK UP. We should deport you.
December 7th, 2007 at 10:40 am
I agree with christiananarchisti on that one: American colonialism is pretty miserable. I hate people that label any criticism of our beloved US of A as unpatriotic. They should deport themselves because they are the ones who bring this country down.
December 7th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
I was a little disappointed by christiananarchisti’s comments. This is the guy who brought us “shit plate” and I, for one, do not want to return to those simple and censored days, post-transgression, of naive commenting where people aren’t eating shit off of plates. What’s with this primetime PG-13 censored bullshit? Is it possible that someone has a special lady in his life?
December 7th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
er… pre-transgression
December 7th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
i am not now, nor have i ever been, a part of ivygate.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
Chris Lacaria is NOT the head of the HRC. Fact check, please!
December 7th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
“American colonialism is pretty miserable” YOU can fuck yourself too. CAN WE PLEASE JUST KICK ALL THE columbia LIBS OFF HERE?! America is known for not taking land like the Brits once did. Go die.
December 7th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
@@good point: you’re an idiot. What do you call the east of the Appalachians? Hawaii? How many countries do we have troops in, by the way? One hundred and thirty, I think. Go fuck yourself, you moron.
December 8th, 2007 at 4:42 am
You know, whenever anyone asks me what a “troll” is, I think I’ll just tell them to google christianarchisti.
December 8th, 2007 at 5:33 am
No, YOU, can go fuck yourself. There were no other countries established in present-day America when we expanded east. What a fucking idiot, you don’t even know what “colonialism” is. Troops in other countries isn’t colonialism, retard. Colonialism means expanding US civilian residents in those “colonies” in an attempt to gain full control of it. This is why ignorant women/gender studies (bullshit major) majors need not get into debates about politics.
December 8th, 2007 at 5:38 am
Expanded *west*. It’s 5:30am so leave that one the fuck alone.
December 8th, 2007 at 8:16 am
“No, YOU, can go fuck yourself. There were no other countries established in present-day America when we expanded east.” Spoken like a true dumbass. What were those hundreds of thousands of brown people living in? Oh–that’s right, they didn’t have flags, armies, kings, or presidents, so they weren’t established countries. They lived like deer and the buffalo, so it was just fine to take their land–I mean, take whatever land they happened to be kind of not really using since they occupied some strange place between human and animal. Good point. “What a fucking idiot, you don’t even know what ‘colonialism’ is. Troops in other countries isn’t colonialism, retard. Colonialism means expanding US civilian residents in those ‘colonies’ in an attempt to gain full control of it.” Colonialism has a lot of different meanings–then again, anybody with the slightest bit of an education would know that. Where do you go, Harvard? What about all of those British, French, and Belgian colonies–you know, the ones that exemplify Real Colonialism(TM)–that had little more than a few administrators, a few businessmen and companies, and a whole lot of armed forces?
December 8th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
American liberalism is the opiate of the fools to blind them to the realities of The New World Order global imperialism. While factions of freedom progress like the Glorious Red Army, which never retreated until seduced by capitalist heroin and entreperneurial ecstaty, where defeating the facist menace, the American people were consuming nylon stockings and practicing genocidial internment of innoncent civilians by the civillians to further the illegal land-grab that is manifest destiny. Manifest inhumanity is the coin of an American empire that spreads poisonous tenatcles to all corners of the globe to strangle the people’s progress in the name of the Lord almighty dollar and Ivy league hegemony. Democracy is the dope show to distract the gulliable and co-opt the delusional into becoming a cog in the facist dollar-driven demagoguery you accept when you matriculate at your Facist-run prison training camps for future masters of the universe that will crumble when the oil wells will run dry as the empty thoughts pushed by patriarchial patrons of pomposity postulate their inanity. The world is soaked in Crimson in the endless pursuit of Green as your decaying ivory towers built on a foundation of buffalo bones totter and fall under the weight of their corruption and moral abgnegation. Know the ivy strangles and kills anything it grows like the parasitic “capitalism” practiced by its insane legions of privateers.
December 8th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
I stopped reading at “Glorious Red Army”, stupid commie. Go die. Also, @ dartmouth: I go to Dartmouth, get your head out of all the GLBTQABCD literature and wake up or kindly deport yourself.
December 8th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
@@ City on Statin Island: “I go to Dartmouth.” Congratulations. “get your head out of all the GLBTQABCD literature and wake up or kindly deport yourself.” I have never in my life attended a W&GST class–not that it should matter. All it takes to understand that the U.S. has engaged in imperialism is a fucking brain. I’m sorry that it makes you feel guilty.
December 8th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
@CityOnALandFill: 1. “world soaked in Crimson” an intentional poke at Harvard? If so, well done.
2. These alliterative allegories you smatter the site with are hilarious. Keep them coming.
December 8th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
And what is with all the anger towards the United States? Buffalo bones aside, it’s not like we have a tradition of mass slaughter. Why should I feel remotely guilty? Mao was an asshole. So was Stalin. Nobody could ever argue the United States has been responsible for murder on that scale, so enough with the bullshit. Yes we’re greedy, fat-cat, philandering philatelists, etc. But we need to be so we can play whack a mole with the despots who will inevitably pop up over the course of history. So I guess I’m basically trying to say fuck you.
December 11th, 2007 at 6:48 am
So, The United States of America came to international prominence through exploitation, murder and subterfuge, and now you’re here to, what, talk us to death? Put up or shut up Frenchie. This country can kill its way out of any problem that confronts it, including you. #1#1#1
December 15th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
“I won’t eat until you do.” lol Grand solution! You go to Columbia, d10? Go Frances and the wit ticket.
January 18th, 2008 at 5:33 am
The USA is not nearly as morally corrupt as Europe, despite European efforts to bury the past and focus on America’s present in discussions of this sort.