It looks like all those Ethics classes at Wharton haven’t exactly been rubbing off. In what will likely turn into an Ivy League Bonnie and Clyde courtroom drama/saga, Edward Anderton (Penn ’05) and Jocelyn Kirsch (Drexel ’06) stand accused of massive identity theft. After burglarizing their neighbors’ apartments, Anderton and Kirsch established credit cards in their neighbors’ names. They then spent a whole lot of money that wasn’t theirs and basically wreaked havoc until Friday, when they were arrested and charged with about a zillion crimes.
According to the Philadelphia Daily News, “Kirsch’s walk-in closet was bursting with so many designer clothes, shoes and handbags that cops couldn’t step inside.”
The couple weren’t exactly Robin Hoods, either. When one of their stolen checks bounced, well, they turned up the heat.
Someone at the salon tried to contact Kirsch by phone, then with a text message, to which Kirsch allegedly replied: “Hello. You don’t know my name, but I know yours. I also know your nice place on . . . Street and how you get home at night. You’re the one who should be worried.”
After searching their Rittenhouse Square apartment, police found $17,500 in cash, dozens of credit cards and fake drivers’ licenses, and keys to unlock many of their neighbors’ apartments and mailboxes.”
Needless to say, this puts regular collegiate douchebaggery in perspective.
All year we’ve been going on and on about how dangerous Penn’s West Philadelphia neighborhood is. We’re sort of reconsidering that. With panty-stealers, wife-murderers, pederast professors, malicious hackers, and now burglarizing identity thieves, it seems that Penn is the problem, not the neighborhood. Someone really needs to protect West Philly from the criminals at the University of Pennsylvania.
After the jump: the cops speak out, and the detective work begins.
In a classic cop-show police – officer – summarizing – what – we – all – already – know moment, Detective Terry Sweeney came up with these inspiring words.
They were two young people that were given many gifts in life. And the very best thing they could do was victimize other people.”
From a different article:
We have trips to London, Paris, Hawaii, Turks and Caicos, and Montreal, Canada.” As for Serpico / Sweeney’s editorial comment? A striking screenwriter couldn’t have put it better: “It’s really nice to go on trips when you’re not paying for them.”
This guy likes to talk. Another one:
“They were like a parasite that infected that building.”
Let’s see what crime Penn students can commit next. Any suggestions?