At Brown eggs aren’t the only thing you might find sizzling in a dorm kitchen. And at Yale sometimes the showers aren’t so clean. At Dartmouth, however, they just piss in the laundry-room.

So we learn from an email sent out to, “residents of Ripley Woodward Smith,” containing news of a “serious health risk.” Apparently someone has urinated in a wastebacket in the laundry room. “More than once.”

Proietti writes, “it is difficult to believe the person doing this is one of those living in this community.” Is it? Maybe it’s that quiet kid? Some kind of fraternity deal? Or could it just be drunken coincidence?

After the jump — the email that started it all!

>Date: 05 Dec 2007 15:27:47 -0500
>From: Josiah S. Proietti
>Subject: Public Urination Notice
>To: (Recipient list suppressed)

Dear residents of Ripley Woodward Smith,

I hope this community health notice finds you all well during this busy time. It has been brought to our attention that there is a serious health risk in our building and it is important that it be addressed and corrected as soon as possible.

Urine has been found in one of the laundry room trash cans on a consistent basis over the past two weeks. Bodily fluids in any area other than a toilet becomes a health risk to everyone who encounters them.

Although it is difficult to believe the person doing this is one of those living in this community, if you know any helpful information that could contribute to the end of this behavior please share it with your UGA or CD.

Thanks for your help, good luck with finals!

Josiah Proietti
Community Director
Ripley/Woodward/Smith
Fayerweathers/Topliff