Penn Home to Longest Band-Related Phallus in World
Apparently Penn had some kind of big football game against Yale last weekend, (something about coming home?) but my understanding of sports is so rudimentary that I am unable to decipher how it went. But I do know that the University of Pennsylvania Marching Band totally schooled the Harvard University Marching Band when it comes to Guinness World Record baton-measuring contests. Video, pictures, and baton creation story after the jump.
From the blog of Penn band alum Brian Greenberg:
It all started, as most things do these days, with an e-mail.
The Harvard University Marching Band has set a Guinness World Record in October, 2006 by creating a baton measuring more than twelve feet long and using it to conduct the band during their halftime show.
As a proud alumnus of the University of Pennsylvania Band, I sent an e-mail to the band's director, R. Greer Cheeseman III and it's Assistant Director, Dr. Kushol Gupta, suggesting we show Harvard who's boss by shattering the record at our homecoming game the following year.
What ensued was a coordinated four month effort by more than a dozen members of the Penn Band (including several engineers) to build the baton, issue a press release, and throw a kick-ass party after the game to celebrate (complete with actual batons for the kids and other cool souvenirs!).
Said press release notes,
Band Director Greer Cheeseman will lead the band using the oversized, nearly 10-pound baton. Its more than 15 times the size of an ordinary baton, which weighs several ounces and is 12 to 16 inches long.
But a side-by-side baton comparison reveals that, though larger than Harvard's baton, Penn's baton appears to be the product of significantly shoddier craftsmanship. Note the fine wood grain and elegantly tapered tip of Harvard's baton (at left). It must have taken an entire tree and at least six elephant tusks to build that! By contrast, Penn's baton (at right) appears to be wrapped in brown paper and held together with masking tape.
It's also a little flaccid and not very smooth:
But at least it gives us the chance to post surreal videos like this one.
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October 24th, 2007 at 4:22 am
I would expect this elementary behavior from Harvard students, Penn, not so much. What’s the *purpose* of this thing, exactly?
October 24th, 2007 at 8:26 am
Oh wow! Congrats Penn Band on your accomplishment! You edged out Harvard in a contest to determine what exactly?
October 24th, 2007 at 8:29 am
The purpose of this thing is to show Harvard who’s boss. Plus, it’s sweet being in the Guinness Book Of World Records.
October 24th, 2007 at 8:44 am
Ugh. Seriously Penn’s baton looks awful, they shouldn’t really have counted that rolled up brown paper as a baton. If anything, Harvard (as always) beats you hands-down at quality.
October 24th, 2007 at 8:47 am
Wow, UPenn State tries to imitate the best, and fails yet again! Well, at least you guys still have your fake US News ranking.
October 24th, 2007 at 8:58 am
As one of the principal builders of this baton, I agree that our craftsmanship wasn’t the best, but for good reason. We didn’t have the most time in the world to craft this thing, which still set a world record, due to things like midterms and fall break, which made it hard to actually get attendence at building sessions. Built out of wood and given a white veneer, I think we did a pretty good job. Harvard’s looks like the shaft is just a PVC pipe (which I wouldn’t doubt and is against the rules, might I add, because you have to use the same materials that the smaller version would be constructed with) and the handle looks like they just stole the base off of an old lamp and lacquered the hell out of it. Ours is rustic, and there is nothing wrong with that. The base was hand crafted (well, hand, glue, hammer, and nails crafted…) and assuredly made from the elements of a real baton. It is hard to get a type of wood that doesn’t bend when it is a 15 foot long span… Also, the handle isn’t brown paper. We ordered cork to wrap around it and used an epoxy to make it look more similar to the baton that we used as a model. When all is said and done, our baton may have looked less refined than theirs, but what else did you expect out of Harvard? They made theirs look all nice-nice, but ours was over a meter longer. They just weren’t up to snuff. Ours did the job, and that is all that matters.
October 24th, 2007 at 9:27 am
Penn, please, we understand that you want to beat Harvard at something because it makes you feel ever so cool, but really, that crappy baton? I would have expected a well-decorated carbon-fiber construction…not such crap. I think it’s safe to say that you did indeed prove yourselves to be inferior.
October 24th, 2007 at 9:43 am
the harvard baton has no pvc pipe (all wood), just to clarify
October 24th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Perhaps next time you can enlist the help of your geeky Drexel neighbors to engineer a quality baton – maybe with lights! That said, I understand that Harvard didn’t need MIT to construct what amounts to a big, straight stick.
October 24th, 2007 at 9:50 am
actually, our baton was crafted in the wood shop of Mather House and was created from the same materials as the baton that our student conductor used. So, penn bando, how about you get your facts straight.
I applaud your creativity. really. nothing like having an alum contact your band director and demand that you mimic Harvard. I mean, whats next? will you be changing your school colors from Crayola to Crimson?
and, btw, way to have your director wield your flaccid baton–I guess none of the guys in the Penn band could handle something so big.
–H bandie fan, ‘08
PS–the scoreboard in the background says it all…how was the Dartmouth game btw? I know what you’re thinking–thank God for Georgetown…
October 24th, 2007 at 10:31 am
Nice one, Penn. Funny how it took you four months to build that piece of crap, when ours was done in a concerted effort of about two weeks. XD
Get your own ideas next time. True originality is the mark of excellence, not an excellent mimicry. And even your mimicry could have been better. Sorry about your luck.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:14 am
this argument is retarded
October 24th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
If I’m not mistaken, this is a contest between certain Penn students and certain Harvard students to demonstrate which of them will, over the course of their lifetimes, get laid less frequently.
That’s an Ivy League rivalry for you.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
I’m a little disappointed that the lovable oafs of the Penn Band would lower themselves to prop comedy like those Crimson Tops in the Harvard Band. Let’s keep all the giant tools in Cambridge.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I’m a little disappointed that the lovable oafs of the Penn Band would lower themselves to prop comedy like those Crimson Tops in the Harvard Band. Let’s keep all the giant tools in Cambridge.
October 24th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Actually, Penn’s band promoted it as beating Harvard, cause Yale couldn’t (…). I thought it was funnier than Harvard doing it, because who honestly thinks spontaneously building a giant baton is cool or funny? Doing it purely to spite a rival school is comedy gold, however, and isn’t petty undercutting of one’s competitors what homecoming is all about?!
Whatev, I’ll just sit here and laugh quietly every time I catch glimpse of my “99 problems but a bitch ain’t one” T-shirt.
October 24th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
first off…stunt comedy is what ivy bands do. It’s all good fun. If you don’t get it, you don’t get ivy league bands (minus cornell, but is cornell even count?)
Second, I think the show concept was solid. I like to think the harvard band laid it down as a challenge, penn made an effort , and it lends itself to some natural jokes, so way to go. Plus imitation is the highest form of flattery
October 24th, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Sounds about right to me:
Harvard: Well-polished, rich in resources, focused on appearance.
Penn: Practical, not as pretty, but gets the job done.
hubbandman’s got it right – the ivy league bands are all about the friendly rivalry (and the mutual disgust with Cornell’s marching Q-tip heads). If this gives everyone something more to joke about, then good for them.
October 24th, 2007 at 10:27 pm
yale’s show was much better anyway.
October 24th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
yale’s show was much better anyway.
October 25th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Congrats Penn, I was pleased to see your massive baton in action on Saturday. I think the Penn band knows they don’t need a baton to prove they are better than Harvard, they were just having some fun.
October 26th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
I, for one, am glad that Penn finally was able to show Harvard, once and for all, that Penn is far better than Harvard is all aspects. Congrats!
January 31st, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Great boys
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