John Fitzgerald Page to World: “I am not Aleksey Vayner”
John Fitzgerald Page, latest internet celebrity douchebag, has written a note for his not-so-adoring public. What does it say?
First, Page tells us in no uncertain terms that he is not like Hitler or Osama. Then things get a little weird:
I cannot fight an overwhelming army of bloggers. My future grandkids will be able to read about this on the internet 50 years from now."
Touché! We can only dream that Page's "future" grandkids - as opposed to the tykes he has running around now - will be looking at IvyGate in half a century, marveling at our wit and wisdom. This is assuming, of course, that he actually finds someone on Match.com willing to impregnate herself with his Grade-D semen.
Then comes our favorite part, the "I'm-not-as-bad-as-Vayner" excuse:
All of the facts on this website are true. I am not Alexsey Vayner, there are no videos on here of me hitting tennis balls at 200 mph!"
Maybe we're going soft, but we sort of feel just a little bit bad for the guy.
(Note: the original file name for the above picture - taken directly from the "Fitness" section of Page's website - is "Howyalikemenow500.jpg." It seems he's a douche even in his more private, file-naming moments.)
After the jump: the note in full.
A note from "THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD".
Stalin. Hitler. Bin Laden. John Fitzgerald Page. Somehow, I am ranked at #1. My crime - murder? treason? pedophilia? rape? No, worse. A woman winked at me on the internet. I sent her an introdutory email. She tried to rescind her initial wink by saying we weren't a "personality" match . She ascertained that from my first email without ever speaking to me. Here is my crime. Instead of just letting her float away, I let her know that I feel that if you approach me, you should meet my standards and listed facts about myself.
She took this personal email, sent to her only, and sent it out to everyone in America. In turn, every blog in America has villified me. I am being threatened with bodily harm, told to kill and neuter myself, that I am a douchebag, etc. My phone rings and email hums day and night, even the New York Times has called (Is this really an noteworthy news story)?. People feel it is okay to post my phone number, address and personal email in attack blogs.
Let me ask you this? Which friend would you rather have - a straight shooter who doesn't waste your time, or someone who can take any PRIVATE email, phone call or letter and put it out there to the world if you cross them? Anyone of you could be in my shoes overnight. Do you feel you have any expectation of privacy when you talk on the phone, send someone an email or a letter? I do. I did not threaten her in any way.
Let me give you a tip about internet dating. Men lie about their height. Women lie about their weight. If a person has nothing but pictures of their head, they are not height/weight proportional. It is a cold reality. I have standards, as we all do. Typically, you approach people above your standards. I am looking for someone who is educated and who takes care of themselves. That is all.
All of the facts on this website are true. I am not Alexsey Vayner, there are no videos on here of me hitting tennis balls at 200 mph! Just because you can't find it, haven't heard about it, can't see it or don't know about it doesn't mean it did not happen. This is a website for my SIDE career, acting/modeling. I know I am not Brad Pitt. But Mr. Whipple gets work too! All types are needed, and I am struggling like any other person in this business. I like to be on the movie set, meeting the stars, learning how movies are made, and especially eating all the craft service! In my real career, all I need is a resume and a degree. In this world, you are a piece of meat. Current pictures of body and face are needed (I have done casting). They need to know what you have done in the past. This website allows me to showcase all of my work in one place and is used to get jobs in this field.
I graduated from Penn. I took my name out of the database to avoid donation solicitations. It is the oldest UNIVERSITY, not college in the country. I am not gay, although I do try to dress nicely. This is, unfortunately, my real hair. My statistics are just that - facts about me. If I said I drove a Pinto, went to community college and worked as a bag boy, would everone be so upset? I am not jealous of others. All of my friends have something better than I do, they are smarter, more educated, more cultured, etc. I try to take the best of others and learn from people that are doing better than I am.
I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I have no emotional I.Q. I am not much of a decorater. I am an orphan. I went to a mediocre public high school in Ohio. I weighed 140 lbs. in high school. I come from a loving family - my dad (who died when I was 10) did 3 tours of 'Nam, received 2 Purple Hearts and a Silver Star during 19 years in the Army. My mom (she just died 2 years ago) worked the same job for 30 years. I have no siblings or grandparents and have been on my own since 17. I have no one to fall back on, so I have to be aggressive and go for my deams - I can't rely on anyone else. We all have that instintual survival mechanism. I can't love anyone else if I don't love myself first.
I understand the pyschology is to be angry at me. But when you think about it, do you want every single PRIVATE thing you write or say to be put out to the universe? That would be a scary, P.C. world. Pyschology is something I really don't understand. A girl I am interested in will approach me on a dating site, and we will have a pleasant exchange. A girl who I am not interested in will approach, then when she doesn't hear back from me, will delete me in a day or so. Why? To make herself feel better. I apologize for not having the emotional intelligence to understand this.
Every single piece of my life has been put up for scrutiny. I only ask this - do you feel the punishment is worth the crime? An overnight internet pariah for sending a girl a personal email? Everything I have ever worked for in my life has been sullied in one day, by one person. Before you cast the next stone - would you like your life ruined over anything you have ever said or written? My reputation is all I have. It has been severly damaged and can never be repaired. I cannot fight an overwhelming army of bloggers. My future grandkids wil be able to read about this on the internet 50 years from now. This is the time when my true friends will step forward.
Inside, I am a good person. I am generous with my friends. I am friendly, outgoing and funny. I take people on face value. I can be abrasive and obnoxious at times - I admit that. Animals and children love me (maybe because I don't have any). I am constantly using my connections to help others. I don't smoke or do drugs. I basically leave people be, as I do not believe life is a zero sum game.
The public hanging of me is making many of you happy. The catch-22 for you is that no publicity is bad publicity. I am getting offers for things - movies, books, TV shows. I have turned down every request. This is not a joke. Don't let this happen to you. Anything you ever write or say can be used against you and can turn your life from normal into a living hell. I think all of this venom should be saved for terrrorist, rapists, murderers etc. All I ask is that you put my "crime" in proper perspective. I sent a not very nice private email to someone. That is all.
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October 12th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
very well written letter. of course he is correct on everything he says. hey media – give the guy some privacy
October 12th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
I’ll add one more thing – the truest thing he says is this:
“Which friend would you rather have – a straight shooter who doesn’t waste your time, or someone who can take any PRIVATE email, phone call or letter and put it out there to the world if you cross them?”
the girl who did this is an evil b*tch
October 12th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
I’ll add one more thing – the truest thing he says is this:
“Which friend would you rather have – a straight shooter who doesn’t waste your time, or someone who can take any PRIVATE email, phone call or letter and put it out there to the world if you cross them?”
the girl who did this is pretty selfish and evil – I hope she gets hers in due course
October 12th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
Why in the hell is he turning down movie book and TV offers now???? Dude, are you listening: are you also a complete moron?! Seriously. God. Hollywood is filled with douchey jerks just like you, you will not be a pariah if you exploited this instant notoriety…quite the opposite, you fool, this could be the break you have been searching for. Milk it, you arrogant twit, milk it! PS I’m totally serious.
October 12th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
oh, and btw little kiddies… here’s some unsolicited advice from an elder: emails are NOT private communications! The only remaining form of private communication in this world is the spoken word, and even that is only private when words are spoken, well…privately! I’ve seen too many people lose their cool, and subsequently their reputations, by getting emotional in email. Kiddies: whenever you type your cute little retorts, imagine it being copied to every damn person in the country, and your family, and whoever else. Cuz that’s life these days kiddies, like it or leave it.
October 12th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
No kidding, y’96. I thought everyone knew that by now.
October 12th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
Very well written letter, he doesn’t seem like a jerk really…his site is a little silly, but give him a break
October 12th, 2007 at 10:54 pm
BlitzMail = private email.
October 12th, 2007 at 11:30 pm
yeah, I like this guy now after reading that email, you guys should really lay off him. Creating this sort of drama just hurts peoples lives and isn’t really called for. Shame on you Gawker/IvyGate
October 12th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
Add in a confidentiality statement at the bottom of the email and you’re covered. That’s standard business practice now. Certainly a lesson well learned.
October 13th, 2007 at 12:05 am
i feel sorry for this guy. he really went through a lot for a stupid e-mail, and while it was douchey, the amount of pain we anonymously inflict on others online is disproportionate. he is an ass, but we shouldn’t have made him a laughingstock based on one piece of evidence. it’s not ivygate’s fault cause the story was already broken, but whatever i’m leaving this shit alone.
October 13th, 2007 at 11:20 am
I am shocked by the sympathy that this guy is receiving from you people. Aske yourself these questions: 1)Do you read this and relate to this guy? 2) Have you read the original email and thought “She deserved it”? 3) Have you perused his many websites and thought “Wow, this guy has really got his life together”?
If you answered yes to ANY of these questions then congratulations, you are an arrogant self-absorbed douche bag as well. Please do the world a favor and suck on the business end of shotgun.
October 13th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
The guy is a douche not a murderer. Gawker hyenas should cut him some slack. “Dingos ate your baby”
October 13th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
So now I feel sort of bad for my previous comment. ::thinking about it some more:: Wait, no I don’t. Get over it! You’re making it worse for yourself by writing a god damn life story in this attempt at social redemption. Ooops. Ya failed. Miserably.
October 13th, 2007 at 6:03 pm
From many of these comments it looks like Mr. Page may have been in kindred company in the Ivy League. Why you would defend him is beyond me.
He was certainly happy with the benefits the internet was giving him before it turned on him. I could use the “Would you want this man dating your sister” approach, but I have a feeling it would be a lost cause.
So, you’ll pardon me if I give this guy the amount of slack and forgiveness that he has shown to many, many women and people in general.
October 14th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
He claims to be an “avid traveler” on his website, but cites only St. Thomas & St. John, Aruba, and Zurich as evidence. Wow, dude, you went on a couple of vacations to the Carribean? You’ve been to Europe? Man, what a fucking jet setter.
October 15th, 2007 at 1:14 am
So after reading his post, its only confirmed for the millionth time that while most ivy league grads may have a decent amount of douchebaggishness in their personality, its really the leeches at pathetic rags like ivygate/gawker/etc who are the tools.
What’s amazing, is that if i’d just met this guy at random he’s be pretty low on my totem pole of cool people, but now i don’t even think to badly of him and he’s automatically above the pseudo journalist/leechish gossip rag writers
then again, i guess its my fault for giving the online versions of the sun more hits
October 15th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
he totally responds to personal emails. i recommend setting up an email account just so you can work in some quality douche-harassing time as a study break.
October 16th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
I live in Atlanta. I know the guy. He is the narcissistic and self-absorbed person he appears to be.
October 16th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Isn’t this guy gay?
October 16th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
“Pyschology is something I really don’t understand. A girl I am interested in will approach me on a dating site, and we will have a pleasant exchange. A girl who I am not interested in will approach, then when she doesn’t hear back from me, will delete me in a day or so. Why? To make herself feel better. I apologize for not having the emotional intelligence to understand this.”
Seriously??? This man’s a D with a capital D.
Clearly, women must delete you after you express no interest because they need to make themselves feel better… obviously, it couldn’t be that they want to unclutter their page so they can find a match (who’s looking for a match on match.com anyway?)… if only there were a psycologist out there somewhere who could explain this to us!
October 17th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
A guy finally getting what he deserves. Penn should revoke his diploma (if it’s not a Kinko’s copy) for muddying their good name. A true sociopath and the only one I’ve ever met in person. Karma is a beautiful thing.
October 25th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Look, this is not the first time this guy has send such an e-mail- he’s done it to tons of women, including to me FOUR YEARS ago, only I didn’t think to forward it around. He told me that I must be fat because I’m not a size 2 at the height of 5′6″, and that I was hopelessly out of his league…yeah, right, buddy. I’m now married, and he is still a loser douche 4 years later.
October 26th, 2007 at 1:43 am
This guy is a moron. He is getting everything he deserves. You do NOT treat a woman like that…matter of fact, you don’t treat anyone like that. He should be able to figure that out after 6 years of college. He sucks.
October 26th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
I like how he posted the first couple comments here by defending himself in the third person. and he probably got his friends to do the same as well. i highly doubt he has done anything he has listed on his site, due to his listing of “c” level movie stars, his one group lunch at the white house, and how he constantly brings up that he’s in mensa and went to an ivy league school. he’s an extra on movie sets. people really do try to make mountains out of mole hills… seriously, this sick guy needs help before he goes on to Catch a Predator or on some serial roofie streak.
October 26th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
and another thing.
It was not a well-written letter. How many cars have I seen with Ivy League stickers on them that look all beat up; just because you went to an “Ivy” League school doesn’t mean you’ll automatically be rich. What a joke.
October 26th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
and another thing.
It was not a well-written letter. How many cars have I seen with Ivy League stickers on them that look all beat up; just because you went to an “Ivy” League school doesn’t mean you’ll automatically be rich. What a joke.
November 22nd, 2007 at 4:45 pm
This guy brags about being a member of NAMBLA?
February 12th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
We live in a free country, correct? I’m so happy none of you will ever be in a position to govern us!Hey Ace? Get a grip! Use both hands and show us how it’s done… please? Hey Ha? Where have you been? Hey Tammi? Please shut up! Hey CashMoney? Are you a moron? Hey mnmntDT? What have you done and what do you drive? To all the rest of you here… isn’t freedom of speech great?
February 12th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
We live in a free country, correct? I’m so happy none of you will ever be in a position to govern us!Hey Ace? Get a grip! Use both hands and show us how it’s done… please? Hey Ha? Where have you been? Hey Tammi? Please shut up! Hey CashMoney? Are you a moron? Hey mnmntDT? What have you done and what do you drive? To all the rest of you here… isn’t freedom of speech great?
April 11th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Hey azur, why are you defending an arrogant, rude butthead like John Page? Is he your boyfriend?
Yeah, we live in a free country – which means we have a right to point out what Douche this Page guy behaves like.
It all got started simply because a lady on a dating site who was not interested in him after seeing his initial reply used a generic ‘no thanks, not interested’ message response, and he replies by sending a rude, insulting note back to her.
Even though he has no idea what her weight is, he goes on to insult her further by assuming she must be overweight.
The very fact that Page focuses on weight as much as he does also reveals what a complete lack of proper priorities he has in life. You don’t choose a partner based solely -or even primarily- on his or her looks.
There’s nothing special about being in MENSA, living in a high rise, or driving a BMW when you (like John Page) have no heart, no compassion, no sense, and no humility.
Even after reading Page’s follow up comments, I still don’t feel sorry for him because at no time does he really seem to get it.
He doesn’t really apologize for having been rude to the lady and for being an overly judgmental, shallow creep.
(Sorry if this is a double post.)
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:07 pm
really guys… Don’t we all write rude or inappropriate things sometimes? That private e-mail exchange between him and the girl was unfortunate and makes for a good joke or two, but it should’ve remained private in the first place, and then it wasn’t the end of the world. He doesn’t apologize to the lady… Has she apologized for having made a private exchange public? I don’t think so. He dislikes overweight girls, big deal… A LOT of men do. A lot of people dislike overweight people, in fact. Let’s not be hypocrites for once. He’s blunt, he may be shallow, even quite tacky… But we all have our moments where we could be publicly and massively scorned. And last but not least, yeah he’s an arrogant douchebag… Just like everybody at some point and like a lot of people who have decided to needlessly prolong a rather cruel joke on a regular person.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:09 pm
really guys… Don’t we all write rude or inappropriate things sometimes? That private e-mail exchange between him and the girl was unfortunate and makes for a good joke or two, but it should’ve remained private in the first place, and then it wasn’t the end of the world. He doesn’t apologize to the lady… Has she apologized for having made a private exchange public? I don’t think so. He dislikes overweight girls, big deal… A LOT of men do. A lot of people dislike overweight people, in fact. Let’s not be hypocrites for once. He’s blunt, he may be shallow, even quite tacky… But we all have our moments where we could be publicly and massively scorned. And last but not least, yeah he’s an arrogant douchebag… Just like everybody at some point and like a lot of people who have decided to needlessly prolong a rather cruel joke on a regular person.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
really guys… Don’t we all write rude or inappropriate things sometimes? That private e-mail exchange between him and the girl was unfortunate and makes for a good joke or two, but it should’ve remained private in the first place, and then it wasn’t the end of the world. He doesn’t apologize to the lady… Has she apologized for having made a private exchange public? I don’t think so. He dislikes overweight girls, big deal… A LOT of men do. A lot of people dislike overweight people, in fact. Let’s not be hypocrites for once. He’s blunt, he may be shallow, even quite tacky… But we all have our moments where we could be publicly and massively scorned. And last but not least, yeah he’s an arrogant douchebag… Just like everybody at some point and like a lot of people who have decided to needlessly prolong a rather cruel joke on a regular person.
May 31st, 2008 at 11:45 am
He has not been alone since he was 17! I know this man! His dad was a drunk and killed himself! HE was never a soldier, or served in NAM. He has uncles, aunts, cousins, etc… they have all disowned him because he is disturbed!