BREAKING NEWS: Gawker/Dealbreaker Uncover Huge Ivy League Douchebag

BREAKING NEWS: Gawker/Dealbreaker Uncover Huge Ivy League Douchebag

Gawker and Dealbreaker are writing about the sad saga of John Fitzgerald Page, Wharton ’88 and Ivy League douchebag extraordinaire. This is usually our territory, so we feel a bit jealous/remiss in bringing you sloppy seconds.

As it were, these are excellent sloppy seconds. Here is an excerpt from an email Page sent to a potential Match.com date:

So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead of trying to turn it around, just get to the gym! I will even give you one free training session, so you don’t blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel’s Best dressed, etc. Oh, that is right, there aren’t any more of those!” 

The 36-year-old Wharton graduate currently lives in Atlanta, where, if his website is to be believed, he banks/models/personal trains/acts/beats Vayner’s records for personal development etc.

Our favorite part is the Napoleon Dynamite-like “Skills” section, in which Page describes some other things he’s incredible at:

Soccer (State Championship Game), Bowling & Archery (State Championship Match), Baseball, Skiing, Swimming, Weightlifting (Bench & Leg Press/Squat over 1200 lbs. combined), Golf (Hole in One), Volleyball, Football, Billiards, Softball

DIALECTS & ACCENTS: English, Southern, New Yorker, Aristocrat, British, Irish, Australian, French, Indian.”

Our only consolation in getting scooped by Gawker on our own beat is knowing that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of Ivy League douchebags we have yet to reveal!

  • I call bullshit

    I looked at a condo in his purportedly exclusive highrise (the Concorde). Let’s just say you can get a two-bedroom, two-bath on the 19th floor (he’s apparently on the 15th) for around $200K. Oh, and also the building is next to a retirement community.

  • I call bullshit

    I looked at a condo in his purportedly exclusive highrise (the Concorde). Let’s just say you can get a two-bedroom, two-bath on the 19th floor (he’s apparently on the 15th) for around $200K. Oh, and also the building is next to a retirement community.

  • Katherine Schieffelin

    For the record, John went to Penn’s College of Arts and Sciences (Class of 90) where he majored in Economics not to Wharton. I don’t think his website purports to be a Wharton alum — get your facts right Ivy Gate.

  • Katherine Schieffelin

    For the record, John went to Penn’s College of Arts and Sciences (Class of 90) where he majored in Economics not to Wharton. I don’t think his website purports to be a Wharton alum — get your facts right Ivy Gate.

  • Larry Bernard

    Their is an old resume online

    His classes in Wharton he claimed were in accounting and criminology

    so he took 2 classes at Wharton

    I am an undergraduate at a non ivy and i’ve taken one graduate class and am taking one now. I’d not say that I took grad school classes at USF EVEN IF I went to a a worse Grad School (I’m looking at you Ohio State.. for giving this guy a Business degree)

  • Larry Bernard

    Their is an old resume online

    His classes in Wharton he claimed were in accounting and criminology

    so he took 2 classes at Wharton

    I am an undergraduate at a non ivy and i’ve taken one graduate class and am taking one now. I’d not say that I took grad school classes at USF EVEN IF I went to a a worse Grad School (I’m looking at you Ohio State.. for giving this guy a Business degree)

  • Beck

    I think when you purposely email this person repeatedly because you think it is funny to be a jerk to someone whom you feel has been a jerk, then you are just as bad as them, if not worse. If everyone in this country acted with such ignorance and immaturity we would all be at war with one another and this would be no great country to brag about. Thank goodness we don’t all act like that. Shame on the ones with children, what a lousy example you set for your children, for any children on how to respond to someone who is innapropriate and rude. You are just like him to think you are better even though you show the same immature behavior. Seriously, look at yourself. Is this how you want to be remembered by others? Is this the example you want to send to others?… Little ones who may be looking up to you?

  • Beck

    I think when you purposely email this person repeatedly because you think it is funny to be a jerk to someone whom you feel has been a jerk, then you are just as bad as them, if not worse. If everyone in this country acted with such ignorance and immaturity we would all be at war with one another and this would be no great country to brag about. Thank goodness we don’t all act like that. Shame on the ones with children, what a lousy example you set for your children, for any children on how to respond to someone who is innapropriate and rude. You are just like him to think you are better even though you show the same immature behavior. Seriously, look at yourself. Is this how you want to be remembered by others? Is this the example you want to send to others?… Little ones who may be looking up to you?

  • Beck

    I think when you purposely email this person repeatedly because you think it is funny to be a jerk to someone whom you feel has been a jerk, then you are just as bad as them, if not worse. If everyone in this country acted with such ignorance and immaturity we would all be at war with one another and this would be no great country to brag about. Thank goodness we don’t all act like that. Shame on the ones with children, what a lousy example you set for your children, for any children on how to respond to someone who is innapropriate and rude. You are just like him to think you are better even though you show the same immature behavior. Seriously, look at yourself. Is this how you want to be remembered by others? Is this the example you want to send to others?… Little ones who may be looking up to you?

  • Beck

    I think when you purposely email this person repeatedly because you think it is funny to be a jerk to someone whom you feel has been a jerk, then you are just as bad as them, if not worse. If everyone in this country acted with such ignorance and immaturity we would all be at war with one another and this would be no great country to brag about. Thank goodness we don’t all act like that. Shame on the ones with children, what a lousy example you set for your children, for any children on how to respond to someone who is innapropriate and rude. You are just like him to think you are better even though you show the same immature behavior. Seriously, look at yourself. Is this how you want to be remembered by others? Is this the example you want to send to others?… Little ones who may be looking up to you?

  • tboneum

    ha ha. met this guy last night. not that cool. definitely no rich arrogant world beater to be envied or hated….not at all. My man is just a scared poor boy done well who just can’t shake the insecurities and fear of his humble beginnings and instead just enjoy what he has done so well to accomplish. Bro…if you’re out there…you need to calm the fuck down. Before I even realized who you were, I honestly thought you were one of the most insecure people I’d been around in present memory. Here’s a hint…if you’re trying to portay yourself as the real deal understand that the real deal never does their own marketing. Real deals don’t judge those not blessed with the same talents, skills or opportunities. The more you tell people how effectively you’re bringing it the more obvious people realize that you’re probably only trying to convince yourself.

  • tboneum

    ha ha. met this guy last night. not that cool. definitely no rich arrogant world beater to be envied or hated….not at all. My man is just a scared poor boy done well who just can’t shake the insecurities and fear of his humble beginnings and instead just enjoy what he has done so well to accomplish. Bro…if you’re out there…you need to calm the fuck down. Before I even realized who you were, I honestly thought you were one of the most insecure people I’d been around in present memory. Here’s a hint…if you’re trying to portay yourself as the real deal understand that the real deal never does their own marketing. Real deals don’t judge those not blessed with the same talents, skills or opportunities. The more you tell people how effectively you’re bringing it the more obvious people realize that you’re probably only trying to convince yourself.

  • Tbone

    overheard him refer to people last night as “randoms” and “riff raff”. Didn’t realize who he was but turned around and sarcastically yet aggressively asked him how terrible that the “randoms” and “riff raff” make things so tedious. Was definitely trying him and everyone around knew it. Felt kind of like a bully though…I’m just under 6’2″ which is not huge but I was TOWERING over our boy. I felt like I was about to bitch slap a japanese fourth grader. Say this about him…he can probably run some numbers and he can definitely pick up on the potential danger of passive aggressive sarcasm used as a tool of provocation.

  • Tbone

    overheard him refer to people last night as “randoms” and “riff raff”. Didn’t realize who he was but turned around and sarcastically yet aggressively asked him how terrible that the “randoms” and “riff raff” make things so tedious. Was definitely trying him and everyone around knew it. Felt kind of like a bully though…I’m just under 6’2″ which is not huge but I was TOWERING over our boy. I felt like I was about to bitch slap a japanese fourth grader. Say this about him…he can probably run some numbers and he can definitely pick up on the potential danger of passive aggressive sarcasm used as a tool of provocation.

  • Anonymous

    This guy has “serial killer” written all over him. A search of his basement is probably in order.

  • Anonymous

    This guy has “serial killer” written all over him. A search of his basement is probably in order.

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  • Waesrdt

    call him
    404-783-3464