“Noooo!” my cry of horror echoed through the Brown Hall courtyard, Princeton NJ, across the state limits and to New Haven, CT where Victoria Marshman, Yale ’09, is likely receiving condolences from her extensive fan base of body dysmorphic 13-year-old girls. Tory, the Ivy League’s Great Hot Hope, has been eliminated from America’s Next Top Model! Tyra Banks, I am going to smother you in your sleep with one of your hideous wigs.
Dressed as a cactus for a plant-themed shoot, Tory proved too “prickly” for the Top Model judges’ taste (photos coming ASAP!). Despite high-quality pictures in episodes 2 and 3, Tory’s bad attitude and sass at the judge’s table was our leggy friend’s downfall. She’ll just have to settle for “the top history program at Yale.” The above picture is from the anti-smoking campaign of episode 2. See the dead fetus doll in her arms? That’s what smoke-induced stillbirth looks like. Which is to say, HOT.