So Long, Last Vestiges of Fun at Columbia
The lovelies at Columbia’s Bwog have been following their University’s “War on Fun” this past week-ish. And as the situation on the ground gets worse, the casualties continue to mount (Umm… sorry if this is the wrong day for such wordplay.)
The Boss Tweeds running the school set a precedent for antifun last spring by de facto fucking over some frat’s annual, glitzy “Hot Jazz” party. Students lived through the forfeiture of such a luxury, but the crackdown continued into the new semester. In the first couple of weeks, security guards have been breaking up millions of dorm parties. Students claim they hear these snivelling rat-cops hatching plans for funlessness over their two-ways.
Still, dorm parties were never the essence. Columbia is about getting fake IDs from that place on the Lower East Side with the costumes no later than 48 hours after move-in. Then, bars.
But now, according to Bwog, McLovin probably will have an easier time getting served in the Village than your average Columbia minor will around campus:
A bouncer at one of the area bars that Bwog frequents tells us that all bars around campus are getting ID scanners within the next two weeks. Furthermore, according to the buzz: Columbia’s footing the bill. They must really hate us…
D’you think the freshmen who saw Clipse perform on campus a week or two ago knew it would be the last fun thing ever to happen there? And if they can’t have fun on campus, what the hell else are Columbians supposed to do in boooooriiiiiing New York City?
