An Extremely Douchey Craigslist Posting
Removed from craigslist:
Harvard senior seeking female companion – 22
Date: 2007-09-17, 3:37PM EDTMy final club has a reunion this fall, and my relationship of two years ended disastrously earlier this summer. I have an invitation for myself plus one, and am willing to show you a great time. It is a private party, in an extremely classy setting. There is no real way to describe how ornate the club is, but I guarantee that it will be the most upscale experience of your life. Think back to your high school prom, take away the terrible music, and multiply the experience by ten.
You must be white, 5′6″ – 5′9″, young, blonde, attractive, and intelligent. You must be in school, preferably Tufts or Wellesley but BU and BC are acceptable (definitely not MIT).
You should be able to hold a conversation, know when to be quiet, and polite in all your behavior. I have seen unruly guests embarrass members before, and I hope this won’t be a problem. This event is black-tie, and I am willing to procure an evening gown for you.
I hate to sound so harsh, but I have expectations to live up to. No Asian, overweight, or unattractive women please. Ages 18-22 only.Picture required.
See now I hate to sound so harsh, but believe me when I say you have already lived up to our wildest expectations.
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September 18th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
“definitely not MIT” — LOL
September 18th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
well yeah, he wouldn’t want to wind up with a girl who’s smarter than he is.
September 18th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
That is awesome AND disgusting!
September 18th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
There is nothing I can say but damn.
September 18th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Definitely not MIT? So then he must be a completely self-absorbed moron, because smart people usually enjoy the company of other smart people. If you have to look for a date on craigslist… damn, you must look like SHIT/be totally undateable. But who am I to judge, I’m from MIT.
September 18th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Definitely not MIT? So then he must be a completely self-absorbed moron, because smart people usually enjoy the company of other smart people. If you have to look for a date on craigslist… damn, you must look like SHIT/be totally undateable. But who am I to judge, I’m from MIT.
September 18th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I can see why his previous relationship ended. He’s going to be lonely for a looong time.
“the most upscale experience of your life”… Wow.
September 18th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
I hope whoever he ends up with gives him herpes.
September 18th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
“extremely classy setting”? “upscale experience”?
This is the level of sophistication of a Harvard finals club member? Sounds more like a brochure for a second-rate hotel in the midwest.
Posers.
September 18th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
so what does the lucky blond get? “I…am willing to show you a great time.” Really? Willing are you? Doesn’t seem as though the pleasure of this kid’s company will be quite enough to make the evening bearable.
September 18th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
the original posting, which i read yesterday, included things like “no black chicks” along with the asian… unfortunately i cannot confirm, because the actual listing (http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/m4w/424875291.html) has been flagged for removal.
but yea, what a douche.
September 18th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
As a Midwesterner, I can vouch that a second-rate motel in the Midwest might say these things — but the experience would be more enjoyable and far less pompous than an evening with this schmuck. Rehabbing a motel might take a year; fixing this guy could take a lifetime.
September 18th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
“I…am willing to show you a great time.” “I am willing to procure an evening gown for you.” How white of you. Thanks.
September 18th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
“As a Midwesterner, I can vouch that a second-rate motel in the Midwest might say these things — but the experience would be more enjoyable and far less pompous than an evening with this schmuck. Rehabbing a motel might take a year; fixing this guy could take a lifetime.”
Not at all intended to offend the Midwest–In fact, writing from Michigan at this moment and loving it! But let’s face it: This guy is a disgrace to all regions of America!
September 18th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
No offense taken. I’ve never been to Bloomfield Hills, but even in Greenwich or Kenilworth this guy would be a little extreme.
September 18th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Yup. Definitely Harvard.
September 18th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Stay classy, finals clubs.
So, can we figure out which club this is? Do they all have reunions this fall?
September 18th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Willing to bet that after this IvyGate expose he’ll get a ton of fake replies with pictures of models ripped from the web.
Would serve him right for being such a douche if he got burned/stood up by a prankster.
September 18th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Willing to bet that after this IvyGate expose he’ll get a ton of fake replies with pictures of models ripped from the web.
Would serve him right for being such a douche if he got burned/stood up by a prankster.
September 18th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
There are country clubs all over Southeast Michigan where this guy would be right at home. I’d just like to see him spend a day in downtown Ithaca– it’d be like a bad sitcom.
September 18th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Well, if he is worth half the membership fee of a final club, he would have gotten himself an escort. Any final club guys knows he can afford 400 dollars an hour for ‘classy’ arm candy.
September 18th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
h’alum, that’s not classy either. if he can’t find a woman he knows who is willing to be with him, he shouldn’t be there.
September 18th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
Yes! I love being a tipster. :-p
September 18th, 2007 at 9:55 pm
Dear Penn’09,
many people submitted this :-)
September 18th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
reminds me of SAE champagne
September 18th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
What do all you people have nothing better to do than browse the Boston cragslist? Especially you Penn’09?! Already got through all of the Penn cragslist, I presume.
September 19th, 2007 at 9:05 am
P.S. If you are ever in New Haven, I give blowjobs in the last men’s stall at Toads on Thurs and Alchemy on Fri and Sat nights. Even for you, Penn’09!
September 20th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
Take it from this Ivy League woman, the Harvard Club is not that impressive and a likely possible reason he’s dumping on MIT is because he didn’t have the Daddy legacy to get in!
I would send him an e-mail just to give him what he deserves!
September 21st, 2007 at 1:23 pm
@d10: yeah, if people were running around swigging andre out of the bottle, booting in the brother-only room and playing strip pong downstairs. . .
September 21st, 2007 at 1:24 pm
@d10: yeah, if people were running around swigging andre out of the bottle, booting in the brothers-only room and playing strip pong in the basement. . .
September 21st, 2007 at 7:35 pm
This is obviously a joke. This shouldn’t be new to you.
September 22nd, 2007 at 1:34 am
why are you being such douchebags about providing attribution to http://www.sexandtheivy.com where you clearly sourced this from. sorry guys i cant say im a big fan of hers but she clearly points out that you are in the wrong on this one.
October 2nd, 2007 at 5:11 am
why don’t the editors delete all the spam in the comments?
January 3rd, 2009 at 5:55 pm
There are 5 houses in five different colors
In each house lives a different nationality.
These 5 owners drink a certain beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar and keep a certain pet.
No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same beverage.
The CLUES:
The Brit lives in the Red house.
The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
The Dane Drinks tea.
The Green House is on the left of the White House.
The Green House’s owner drinks coffee.
The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
The man in the center house drinks milk.
The Norwegian lives in the first house.
The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats
The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
The German smokes Prince.
The Norwegian lives next to the Blue House.
The man who smokes Blends has a neighbor who drinks water.
The QUESTION:
Who owns the fish?
May 30th, 2009 at 1:11 am
Uh, yeah. I recommend deleting the Russian porn spam above me.
October 15th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Um, Ivygate, you may want to implement CAPTCHA. Because, no offense intended to @Hydrolyze, but there’s no real human who honestly believes he’s going to “learn some good stuff here.”