An Extremely Douchey Craigslist Posting

by | September 18, 2007 at 12:05 pm

Removed from craigslist:

Harvard senior seeking female companion – 22
Date: 2007-09-17, 3:37PM EDT

My final club has a reunion this fall, and my relationship of two years ended disastrously earlier this summer. I have an invitation for myself plus one, and am willing to show you a great time. It is a private party, in an extremely classy setting. There is no real way to describe how ornate the club is, but I guarantee that it will be the most upscale experience of your life. Think back to your high school prom, take away the terrible music, and multiply the experience by ten.

You must be white, 5′6″ – 5′9″, young, blonde, attractive, and intelligent. You must be in school, preferably Tufts or Wellesley but BU and BC are acceptable (definitely not MIT).

You should be able to hold a conversation, know when to be quiet, and polite in all your behavior. I have seen unruly guests embarrass members before, and I hope this won’t be a problem. This event is black-tie, and I am willing to procure an evening gown for you.
I hate to sound so harsh, but I have expectations to live up to. No Asian, overweight, or unattractive women please. Ages 18-22 only.

Picture required.

See now I hate to sound so harsh, but believe me when I say you have already lived up to our wildest expectations.

 
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  • yayaylie

    What do all you people have nothing better to do than browse the Boston cragslist? Especially you Penn’09?! Already got through all of the Penn cragslist, I presume.

  • yayaylie

    What do all you people have nothing better to do than browse the Boston cragslist? Especially you Penn’09?! Already got through all of the Penn cragslist, I presume.

  • yayaylie

    P.S. If you are ever in New Haven, I give blowjobs in the last men’s stall at Toads on Thurs and Alchemy on Fri and Sat nights. Even for you, Penn’09!

  • yayaylie

    P.S. If you are ever in New Haven, I give blowjobs in the last men’s stall at Toads on Thurs and Alchemy on Fri and Sat nights. Even for you, Penn’09!

  • Adorable Girlfriend

    Take it from this Ivy League woman, the Harvard Club is not that impressive and a likely possible reason he’s dumping on MIT is because he didn’t have the Daddy legacy to get in!

    I would send him an e-mail just to give him what he deserves!

  • Adorable Girlfriend

    Take it from this Ivy League woman, the Harvard Club is not that impressive and a likely possible reason he’s dumping on MIT is because he didn’t have the Daddy legacy to get in!

    I would send him an e-mail just to give him what he deserves!

  • d05

    @d10: yeah, if people were running around swigging andre out of the bottle, booting in the brother-only room and playing strip pong downstairs. . .

  • d05

    @d10: yeah, if people were running around swigging andre out of the bottle, booting in the brother-only room and playing strip pong downstairs. . .

  • d05

    @d10: yeah, if people were running around swigging andre out of the bottle, booting in the brothers-only room and playing strip pong in the basement. . .

  • d05

    @d10: yeah, if people were running around swigging andre out of the bottle, booting in the brothers-only room and playing strip pong in the basement. . .

  • abc

    This is obviously a joke. This shouldn’t be new to you.

  • abc

    This is obviously a joke. This shouldn’t be new to you.

  • Hvard

    why are you being such douchebags about providing attribution to http://www.sexandtheivy.com where you clearly sourced this from. sorry guys i cant say im a big fan of hers but she clearly points out that you are in the wrong on this one.

  • Hvard

    why are you being such douchebags about providing attribution to http://www.sexandtheivy.com where you clearly sourced this from. sorry guys i cant say im a big fan of hers but she clearly points out that you are in the wrong on this one.

  • inno

    why don’t the editors delete all the spam in the comments?

  • inno

    why don’t the editors delete all the spam in the comments?

  • MiffOvefOnese

    There are 5 houses in five different colors
    In each house lives a different nationality.
    These 5 owners drink a certain beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar and keep a certain pet.
    No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same beverage.

    The CLUES:

    The Brit lives in the Red house.
    The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
    The Dane Drinks tea.
    The Green House is on the left of the White House.
    The Green House’s owner drinks coffee.
    The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
    The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
    The man in the center house drinks milk.
    The Norwegian lives in the first house.
    The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats
    The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
    The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
    The German smokes Prince.
    The Norwegian lives next to the Blue House.
    The man who smokes Blends has a neighbor who drinks water.
    The QUESTION:

    Who owns the fish?

  • MiffOvefOnese

    There are 5 houses in five different colors
    In each house lives a different nationality.
    These 5 owners drink a certain beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar and keep a certain pet.
    No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same beverage.

    The CLUES:

    The Brit lives in the Red house.
    The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
    The Dane Drinks tea.
    The Green House is on the left of the White House.
    The Green House’s owner drinks coffee.
    The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
    The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
    The man in the center house drinks milk.
    The Norwegian lives in the first house.
    The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats
    The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
    The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
    The German smokes Prince.
    The Norwegian lives next to the Blue House.
    The man who smokes Blends has a neighbor who drinks water.
    The QUESTION:

    Who owns the fish?

  • KEGGY

    Uh, yeah. I recommend deleting the Russian porn spam above me.

  • KEGGY

    Uh, yeah. I recommend deleting the Russian porn spam above me.

  • COL’12

    Um, Ivygate, you may want to implement CAPTCHA. Because, no offense intended to @Hydrolyze, but there’s no real human who honestly believes he’s going to “learn some good stuff here.”

  • COL’12

    Um, Ivygate, you may want to implement CAPTCHA. Because, no offense intended to @Hydrolyze, but there’s no real human who honestly believes he’s going to “learn some good stuff here.”

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