Who We Are
Hi, Ivygate readers -
I'm Jacob, Princeton '06.
A little about me: I've spent much of my time since graduation sort of roaming around; I worked on a political campaign in Minnesota for a spell, then took off to the Holy Land to live off some fellowship money. It's the next best thing to a trust, I guess. Right now I'm in the Negev Desert working as a stock-boy in a kibbutz commissary store. What I've learned: Israelis love watermelon. They also do this weird thing where they put their shopping carts in line before they place anything in them.
Hal and I met during our respective tenures at the Nassau Weekly, where we wrote brilliant articles about brilliant things all the time. Like many friendships, ours is based on a number of shared dislikes: Ivy League daily newspapers, institutional hypocrisy, and Dartmouth - all of which the Ivy League supplies in spades, and about which Ivygate has so dutifully and irresponsibly reported. This is why we enjoy Ivygate so much; it's also the reason we're looking forward to our oh-too-short tenure with such intense anticipation. It's sort of like getting to plan high school prom, only better. So bear with us, please.
I'm Hal, Princeton '08
I don't know anything about journalism, the Internet, or even the Ivy League really. I am currently ensconced in Firestone library doing "research" towards my Senior Thesis on a philosopher -- Jacob may be interested to know -- with whom no self-respecting kibbutznik would shake hands (Hint: He was a onetime Nazi who shacked up with Hannah Arendt.)
I spend my days like most Princetonians -- playing pranks on the elderly, giving tourists false directions, and throwing rocks at children when they're not looking. I believe Ivygate is a natural extension of these things.
Fact: I once beat up Jacob Savage.
Please send us tips.
--HAL PARKER AND JACOB SAVAGE
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July 1st, 2007 at 7:02 pm
What the fuck’s wrong with Dartmouth, queers? Clearly you’re new to this blog.
July 1st, 2007 at 11:13 pm
“What the fuck’s wrong with Dartmouth, queers?”
oh you just answered your own question :-)
July 2nd, 2007 at 7:16 am
If the implication is that Princeton is somehow less close-minded, elitist, and bigoted as an institution, then, well, that’s funny. Oh, and Heidegger.
July 2nd, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Jake’s got a point. Don’t randomly pick Dartmouth to make fun of, you’re drawing away all the attention from our long history of Cornell bashing.
July 2nd, 2007 at 10:40 pm
fuck you Jacob Savage. I fucking hate you forever. for serious. it’s in a nice way, though, maybe.
July 3rd, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Which of you is Martin Laurence, and which is Tim Robbins?
July 6th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
hahaha Hal
February 15th, 2008 at 3:45 am
That’s very true about supermarkets in israel. i swear you look at the line in the cash register and except for maybe the first person at the cashier the rest of it is just partially filled shopping carts. And the ladies will be running back and forth from the shopping carts to the aisles. And dont even get me started on the rampant misuse of the 10 items or less lane.