Penn Newspaper Lines Its Pockets with Death Money

by Jim Newell | July 30, 2007 at 3:14 pm

Penn Newspaper Lines Its Pockets with Death MoneyWorking at an independent student newspaper like the Daily Pennsylvanian, as I did for three or four years, entails a lot of grown-up stress. The school endorses you as a worthwhile educational opportunity but laughs at the thought of giving you even a farthing’s worth of money.

That’s right you 19-year-old editors, earn your own bread. Sell advertising or cease to exist. And if worrying about a corporation’s fiscal standing isn’t enough, sweat it over about Jane from Psych 1. She’ll never go to the frat semi-formal with you, because she likes Tad, a Wharton man, even though he likes Ashley, but she’s a ho and everyone knows it. I mean did you see her at Alpha Chi Ho-mega last week?

Oh right, newspapers. Turns out the DP kids are alright after all, because they’re now inappropriately rich, at least by Dr. Evil’s standards. According to a New York Daily News report, the recently deceased gossip columnist, TV personality and Hamptons flaneur Claudia Cohen (Penn ‘72) left some special happiness for her old fish wrapper:

‘In a will filed in Manhattan Surrogate’s Court, Cohen gave $10 million to the Spence School on the upper East Side, $5 million to the Alzheimer’s Association and $1 million to the University of Pennsylvania’s the Daily Pennsylvanian, “which meant so much to me and my career.”‘

My first reaction after reading this was a simple “Good Lord.” Every thought since has been “Good Lord.” I mean, that money could have gone to a socially responsible cause, like anywhere else.

This Cohen is rarely mentioned among famous DP alums. (Actually the only famous DP alum anyone ever mentions is the single worst college newspaper alum imaginable: Hayden Christensen. I mean Stephen Glass. Life as a House?) Yet here she drops the ad man’s wet dream’s worth of skrilla. But can the DP use that money to buy better voiceovers?

–JIM NEWELL

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One Response to “Penn Newspaper Lines Its Pockets with Death Money”

  1. Comments the sheriff Says:
    July 30th, 2007 at 5:53 pm

    its quite amazing (-ly wonderful) how you managed to include a link to a Stephen Morse production in just your very first post as guest editor.