Crimewatch: Penn Terrorized, Assaulted by Roving Gangs of 9 Year Olds

by Sam Jackson | July 18, 2007 at 12:24 pm

RIP jack wildThe University of Pennsylvania appears helpless to stop a surge in assaults and robberies by several bands of tweens on campus in the last month. WPVI ABC local news tells us “the hunt is on” for a group of children as young as 9 years of age “terrorizing residents, on and around the University of Pennsylvania campus.” The kids are “targeting Penn students and staff” and that there have been as many as ten incidents around the campus in the last few weeks.

They strike in groups of three to eight, according to a Penn security alert, and some may be up to 13 years old (gasp!). Luckily, the Philadelphia Daily News reports that patrols have been stepped up, including covert operations, while security cameras and footage are being monitored. Can someone explain what these “covert ops” might be? Are they sending grade schoolers to infiltrate these vicious gangs? Undercover officers dressed as students intended to lure them out of hiding?

Two boys have been arrested so far, but the remaining groups are still at large. Good to know the sharp team of police and University security officers can handle themselves against some tough West Philadelphia criminals.

In a related tots-on-trikes robbery story, two nights ago a pair of 14-16 year olds on bicycles robbed a Yale graduate student at gunpoint. On the bizarre summer crime meter, I give one point to Yale for David Smith’s weapon stash and one to Penn for the munchkin gangs. With a good heat wave, Penn could easily pull ahead, but where are the other ivies?

If you have more information about these dangerous criminals, or any tips in general, send them in to ivygate.guest@gmail.com

 –SAM JACKSON

 
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  • Paul
    Wow, "please slash & burn all of mantua" what an awesome yet unsurprising 'tude from from the drex/penn crowd!

    However, the fact that the city-o-god style youth crime phenomenon has breached unto the abercrombie/american apparel clad, driving daddy's mini crowd is a super sign.

    Perhaps this rash of prepubesc. crime - which has been terrorizing the general w. philly community for at least 2yrs + - has finally broke through the fog of obliviousness that pervades the penn community. Maybe now that that money is affected, the greater w. philly/ucity community will see some action. Or then again, considering how ineffectual Penn has been thus far at acting in partnership with it's community to address serious issues, perhaps we'll all just have to wait for Michael Nutter.
  • When My Parents...
    For the record, when *my* parents went to Wharton, my mom used to hitchhike to class from 44th street.

    It's amazing how absolutely nothing has changed in the last 30 years to make a comparison between the area surrounding Penn in 1974 and 2004 completely ludicrous. Oh wait...
  • Penn '08
    I saw them last week on Spruce in between 40th and 41st being talked to by about five carloads of cops. There were four of them, none of whom looked to be under about 5'10". I'm going to go ahead and say the lot of them could beat at least two Pottruck-going, vigilante types to death with little to no problem.
  • Drexel '07
    P.S: Please slash and burn all of Mantua.
  • Drexel '07
    Those things, the children, are annoying. They ride their bicycles on the sidewalk, and yell "get the fuck out of my way" to any pedestrians that happen to be on the path.

    Then, if you happen to have any bags that are hanging at your side, they try to take them as they bike past.

    If gentrification moves these problem father away from University City, I have no problems with it.
  • ViolentQuaker
    I, on the other hand, would spray every 9-13 year old within spraying range. Probably go at them with a bat, too.

    Collective punishment worked for Stalin, right?
  • p07
    just to clarify i wouldn't spray all 9-13 year olds, just the ones trying to terrorize/rob someone
  • p07
    @ scared - that's awesome, and if i remember correctly he was later accepted into Princeton. :)

    I don't go to either penn or yale but I think people are underestimating 9-13 year olds. I mean, are you imagining the types of kids you went to summer camp with? I can totally believe that a 13 year old boy can not only be taller than most girls, but equal in height to a lot of guys. And if they're robbing you, it's pretty likely they have a lot less fear than you do. I'd carry some strong pepper spray and spray them all.
  • atwork
    @ scared ha ha funny

    to whoever said walking around at 3 am alone and under the stars ...

    i dont care where you are thats just stupid. i read a lot of notices about people getting harrassed or robbed around cambridge, and then i read the time they were out, walking alone - 2, 3, 4 am, and i say, please - use common sense.
  • News Flash
    In a startling announcement today, officials at the University of Pennsylvania unveiled plans to move the university from its centuries-old home in Philadelphia.

    "We brought in some consultants who basically said 'Move away from there. California's the place you want to be.' " ...
  • scared
    people, please stop joking about this. I remember when one of my friends was attacked by a group of these young hoodlums. See, he was from West Philadelphia, born and raised, and was on the playground where he spent most of his days, Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool and all shootin some b-ball outside of the school. When two guys who were up to no good, started making trouble in his neighborhood, it took one little fight and his mom got scared and told him that he would move with his auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
  • @y07
    Not the poetry lady. This was a homeless guy near Columbia. But still not what I'd classify as threatening enough to affect a major decision.
  • Y '05
    That was one of the benefits of being a black male at Yale... none of the kids on bikes ever messed with me.

    The kids who are afraid of Yale, Columbia, Penn, etc because of "safety" and "security" need to generally man up, not everywhere in the world is a leafy suburb.
  • BigRed
    @ex cap: Or just come to Cornell like I did. The worst we got are hippies. And rednecks.
  • ex cap
    Come on folks - I have lived in West Philadelphia (remember Powelton Avenue?), Washington, D.C. and New Haven, C.T. and I never witnessed anything more threatening than what I saw outside the only 7-11 in beautiful Peddlers Village, PA. If the Shakespeare lady scares you away from an education at Yale, perhaps you should be homeschooled in your planned community, far far away from the scary world.
  • y07
    An aggressive panhandler?

    I guarantee you that was the poetry lady at Yale. Am I right?
  • @Penn
    Don't disagree. IMHO, you find the school with a culture and academic combo that will allow you to get the best education. Sometimes, that might mean a shitty nabe; but, Penn, Columbia, Yale, Johns Hopkins, and Chicago are excellent institutions despite their surroundings.

    One friend who decided against Columbia, Penn, and Yale did so under pressure from his parents (uptight elitist closet racists). An aggressive panhandler even turned them off to one school. Sad, but true.
  • Penn '07
    Oh dear God, Penn '11, stay the hell away from my school. "OOOO what now?" Now please go away.


    In any case, in my four years at Penn, I never felt unsafe. As long as you're not totally oblivious, there's usually nothing to worry about. So comments about how much better Cornell and Dartmouth are are pretty unwarranted... until this, of course. This does seem pretty serious, moreso than the minor annual summer crime wave we hear about. Under normal circumstances, Penn is really quite safe, and I'm sure it will be again once DPS manages to get their act together and protect campus from the marauding bands of teenagers. I just hope it happens soon.
  • Penn11
    Wow. I think that next year if I get assaulted by 2nd graders I'll just start cracking skulls... Even if there are 3 of them, I'm 5'4" and have a black belt, so hopefully I'll survive the attack...



    BADASS prefrosh just posted a comment! OOOO what now?
  • Fresh air addict
    Environment/neighborhood was a major factor for me in sending in my acceptance. Being a country girl, I couldn't quite make peace with the idea of New Haven - hello Hanover! Strolling alone (and maybe barefoot) under bright stars at 3 am in the place you love - it's priceless. Actually, I think now's a good time to go swim in the river....
  • Penn
    I can't believe someone would actually not apply to Columbia or Penn based off of the reputations of their neighborhoods. Going to Penn now, and having done a summer program at Columbia, I can say with certainty that I feel (and felt) safe the vast majority of the time.

    But maybe I'm just a badass.
  • Nonetheless
    Griping about people laughing at this is beside the point. The real issue is that this is a big problem the Penn better get its hands on. I knew a number of people who didn't even apply to Penn and Columbia -- because they were concerned about safety. (Morningside Heights has gotten better; West Philly... meh.)
  • dshea
    At least i didn't have to go to school in some godforsaken, wretched neighborhood. Princeton is beautiful spring, summer, winter and fall. Not to mention everyone loves me here as exemplified by the 14 year olds that drop rose petals at my feet every time i walk up the path to ivy.
  • dshea
    At least i didn't have to go to school in some godforsaken, wretched neighborhood. Princeton is beautiful spring, summer, winter and fall. Not to mention everyone loves me here!
  • steve-o
    wow: mission accomplished.
    GORE 2008!
  • wow
    to steve-o: what your response lacked in humor and general coherence it more than made up for in vitriol. bravo, sir.
  • steve-o
    Listen up, sam jackson. You haven't even been to yale yet, so before you go hating on upenn remember that the average yale student pisses his pants in fear every time he has to walk outside his dorm. And did you ever pause to consider that david light kept a small arms cache nearby out of shear terror for what happens on the mean streets of new haven? The liberal, hippie, communists at yale would rather dream about cleaning week old food from between michael moore's multiple chins than feel safe at night. To summarize, get yourself a glock, sam jackson, because penn is the green zone to yale's baghdad.
  • @ elite
    it is good of you to share your story. i bet those eight-year olds really shook your father up.
  • p08
    god bless you, Elite Jones
  • Elite Jones
    When my mother was at Yale Law and my father at Harvard Business school they were both assaulted by eight year olds. Luckily, when I was Princeton undergrad I didn't run into any trouble. I can only hope my safe streak continues at Harvard Medical.
  • Kegger
    Agreed.
  • Tiger 09
    No, what's irritating is people who won't stop complaining about the guest editors. That's almost as bad as people who drop the fact that their parents went to Wharton.
  • Oli
    This post is irritating not just for its unearned "irony," but for being flatly uninformed. Security in West Philly is not remotely funny. When my parents were at Wharton, a friend of my parents was killed by a gang of kids right outside his apartment.

    You can only get away with being an asshole if you know what you're talking about.

    Why is IvyGate being edited by a prefrosh, anyway?
  • Penn 07
    Last year I witnessed 4 or 5 little roughneck children, none of whom couldve been older than 12, roll up on bikes to a woman who was all done up in business attire, right in the middle of Locust Walk-- probably coming from Huntsman-- and each one of them took a mouthful of water and blasted her in the face with spit water as they went by. She was outraged, but what are you going to do, push a 9 year old kid off his Huffy?
  • Ithaka
    @Quakers: And just think, you could be savoring a heavenly summer in Ithaca right now. Barbecues, naps on the Arts Quad, and skinny dipping in the gorges.
  • Anus
    well put Lena . . .

    But seriously, to those who are making fun: if you're a girl, many 13 year olds are your size already, and in a city with 223 murders already, it isn't inconceivable that some of the little bastards have knives or whatever.
  • Anus
    well put Lena . . .

    But seriously, to those who are making fun: if you're a girl, many 13 year olds are your size already, and in a city with 223 murders already, it isn't inconceivable that some of the little bastards have knives or whatever.
  • Anus
    well put Lena . . .

    But seriously, to those who are making fun: if you're a girl, many 13 year olds are your size already, and in a city with 223 murders already, it isn't inconceivable that some of the little bastards have knives or whatever.
  • yea
    it does seem really fun in print. come on penn '09 even high school students seem small to me now. as for tweens, that's like fighting off a flock of geese.
  • BigGreen
    I'm glad the only crime that happens at my school is public drunkenness.
  • columbia2010
    Hahaha. Afraid of tykes-on-bikes?
  • Penn '09
    Let me tell you something: I'm at Penn this summer. This seems really funny in print, but I'm scared to walk down Locust Walk right now.

    It's kinda sad.
  • at least...
    at least they're getting outside and taking advantage of the summer weather rather than sitting inside and playing video games!
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