Goodness Gracious (UPDATED)
Here’s a trend story lead for ya: Adolescent males are increasingly whipping out their junk and molding them, origami-like, into various entertaining shapes. If you’re a dude and you’ve come of age in the past decade or so, you’ve probably seen the “helicopter,” the “chicken heart,” or — most horrifically — the “bat wing.” (You know it when you see it.) Confused, ladies? Google at your retinas’ peril, and just take our word that this is pandemic.
And continue after the NSFW jump, if you have the … um … if you have the … stomach for the logical next step. Right now, at Cornell University, some brave, brave souls — and their junk — are upping the ante with a pyrotechnic feat so daring it would make David Blaine — and his junk — weep. The student in this video toys with life and death, albeit that of his future children. It’s also the most creative use of Axe body spray we’ve ever seen.
NSFW!
UPDATE 12:30 a.m.: YouTube, in its puritanical wisdom, has deleted the video. Luckily, we were good little bloggers and downloaded the video for re-hosting just in case something like this happened; it’s back up, after the jump.
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April 2nd, 2007 at 10:23 am
It’s a shame he didn’t keep them immolated for a bit longer.
April 2nd, 2007 at 11:33 am
how long until youtube finds this…
April 2nd, 2007 at 11:43 am
It is unsurprising that state school antics should take place at Cornell.
April 2nd, 2007 at 2:53 pm
our state school antics keep you guys entertained…not to mention… simply put…. Columbians are a bunch of silly hat wearing fanny bandits
April 2nd, 2007 at 3:02 pm
As Pablog over at the Crimson’s website has already noted, Harvard’s next men’s basketball coach will likely be black.
April 2nd, 2007 at 3:34 pm
don’t hate on state school antics. and fyi, that kid made 70 bucks to light his balls on fire. guess us state schoolers need all the help we can get
April 2nd, 2007 at 4:21 pm
not finding hits in google. how about some links?
April 2nd, 2007 at 5:21 pm
But I like my silly hat…
April 2nd, 2007 at 7:58 pm
I know. “State school” is awful. We have no fun (as proven by this video). I wish I went to a snot school like Columbia….
April 2nd, 2007 at 8:16 pm
Actually, Columbia kinda sucks, so you have a point. Come to Dartmouth, it’s where people flock to after visiting the morbid NYC school.
April 2nd, 2007 at 8:18 pm
deleted.
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:08 am
Would have been much better if he had used gasoline. I’m pulling for a repeat performance, per suggestion.
April 3rd, 2007 at 2:29 am
I would guess that’s one way to remove hair thats there though. Hmm… might have to try this one
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:07 am
C’08, it probably horrifies you when you see another human being who isn’t an emaciated wannabe hipster with questionable fashion sense, or who isn’t some Kentucky yokel who fancies herself a cosmopolitan public intellectual after two-and-a-half years of undergraduate study, but you should know that this is funny shit.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:24 am
Well, it may not exactly be natural selection, but at least you’re helping to deepen the gene pool.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:37 am
I’m really curious to see what’s the “helicopter,” the “chicken heart,” and the “bat wing.” I googled it but didn’t find anything, anyone know where I could find this? I’m too curious.. lol
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:33 am
Julz, just go to urbandictionary.com
It has pretty good definitions of all of these.
April 3rd, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Nothing like another IvyGate comment thread turning into school bashing. Time to jump on the bandwagon!
New flash: Going to school in the boonies sucks. Wait, you mean beer pong isn’t a skill I can market after college? Drats! Living in a diverse social setting and learning to converse with people in a casual setting (ie a bar) who aren’t other college kids IS a useful skill? Double drats!
PS – This was satire. Who cares what school you go to anyway?
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:39 pm
You can also try “puppetry of the penis.” Plenty of suggestions there.
April 4th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Can girls do bat wings?
April 5th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
Try the movie “Waiting” with dane cook for some excellent demos of the batwing, the goat, and i think the chicken wing or something like that.
April 6th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
the video demonstrates an alternative to shaving, i suppose.
April 7th, 2007 at 1:30 am
He should have let it burn. Too bad he will probably be breeding if he hasn’t already.
April 8th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
70 bucks for this old stunt? thats weak. I knew a guy that would light his wang on fire 3 years ago with axe just for shits and giggles.
April 9th, 2007 at 11:46 am
Kentucky yokel who fancies herself a cosmopolitan public intellectual after two-and-a-half years of undergraduate study, but you should know that this is funny shit.
ouch
April 9th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
If this guy is single, you think I can get his number? His balls are *really* hot.
April 9th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
If this guy is single, you think I can get his number? His balls are *really* hot.
May 11th, 2007 at 11:48 am
hilarious. this is why i picked cornell.
June 16th, 2007 at 9:55 pm
The only way this could be better would be for it to fade out with him moaning “It burns, it burns!”
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