8th Graders v. 9th Graders: It’s On (UPDATED)
We've been fascinated lately by the idea of Facebook as art form. If Leonardo da Vinci were around now, he'd probably spend all day assembling elaborately captioned galleries of Facebook photos, too. Proust would spend all day in his dorm room bed, diddling on his MacBook, crafting reams of annoying Notes that his friends wouldn't even read. Rembrandt would be the guy with a hundred Facebook groups about himself, of which he is the only member. And after seeing what Facebook members have done with the group we're about to describe, we're convinced students have found the greatest medium of self-expression since tempura tempera [Ed.: We regret the typo, although we are not ruling out the possibility the great masters painted with deep-fried seafood.]
It started back in February, when a student at The Brearley School in New Jersey New York City started a Facebook group called "8th Graders need to back off 9th grade guys especially other peoples BF'S." The group's mission statement couldn't have been clearer:
For all of those 8th graders who think they are entitled to hang out flirt w/ 9th grade guys, and can wheedle themselves into HIGHSCHOOL parties, im sry u r in eighth grade..um soo stop. DONT think we hate you tho
Harmless enough. But then came the commenters. At first there were only high schoolers. But at some point -- it's hard to say exactly when -- the joke turned on them, the tipping point tipped. A Davidson student in early March became the first college person to weigh in on the issue, and then, as word leaked across campuses from NYU to Notre Dame to BC to Skidmore, la deluge:
OMG i h8 it when my 8th grade boi toi is mackin on 7th graderzzzz. That's totally how he got the clap.
Yo stop being skeets 8th graders
By early April, the board was getting dozens of comments a day, in pitch-perfect imitations of high-school-speak (that would, incidentally, make Don Imus proud):
baby 8th graderz are lyke so0o0o0o0 much better than you NYU gurlz. that's why i've been hangin around @ PS 144 after micro orgo chem every T and H. so it izn't our fault and it sure as he** iz'nt theirz: itz urs.
who the fuck do the 8th graders think they are? god better back up for i break it off like rihanna.
4 realz dis one 8th grade bitch wuz all up on my man and i wuz like oh no u didnt bitch. shez a ho and my 9th grade boi dont want no 8th grade skank
Well, maybe if these 9th grade girls maintained that fine middle school figure, they wouldn't face so much competition. Really now, who should bear the blame here?
nimble skanky assed 8th grade hos be all up in my grill and im all $TEP OFF BETCH STOP PUTTIN UR CAREBEARS LUNCHBOX NEXT 2 MY JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE BACKPACK
Fo real, hoes jealous of my pokemon collection. If you're in junior high that shit just ain't balla to me.
I lost my fiance to an 8th grade girl. Bitch ruined my life.
I'm so glad someone finally created a facebook group for this problem. I thought I was the only one who cared.
And so on. The group currently has 5,742 members, 900-plus wall posts, and in the photo gallery, there's 8th grade "hoez" "mackin" on 9th graders by the "snak macheeenz." Does this have anything to do with the Ivy League? No. We just wanted you to see it.
Update 4:07 p.m.: Oh no! The group's creator has taken it down! What gives? Doesn't she know that's like spray painting over the Sistine Chapel? Luckily, we saved a copy of the group's front page here. Now that the group is dead, feel free to leave your own rantz in our comments section.
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April 26th, 2007 at 11:29 am
Actually, it’s from The Brealey School, an incredibly prestigious private school in NYC.
April 26th, 2007 at 11:30 am
Actually, it’s from The Brearley School, an incredibly prestigious private school in NYC.
April 26th, 2007 at 11:41 am
how many dupes u think gonna happen?
April 26th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Slow news day, huh? Also, you forgot to link to the group in your post.
April 26th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
So, what you’re saying is that Rembrandt = Nate Dern?
April 26th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
You really just wanted to post that picture of Lohan, didn’t you? Stick to the Ivy, please.
April 26th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I don’t mind that this news is non-Ivy; It is hilarious.
April 26th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
This shit is hilarious.
April 26th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Creator’s brother is Columbia ‘10.
April 26th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Hurry up, people! The creator says we have until 12 midnight to vacate the group or else she will “delete it.” Kind of a strange order. She’s also deleting the hilarious wall posts.
April 26th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Someone want to post a link to the group?
April 26th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
she deleted the group, but not before i got my comment in there…
lyke, l00k, i kn0e 8th gradas be b0ard sumtymez, but y0, dey need t0 lyke b0unce up 0ff my w0man!!! dat girl lykes MY skeet skeet, aint n0budy elses!!! ya dig?? lawd y’all!
h0lla.
April 26th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
so, there’s a total backlash on her… she can’t delete us all. that ho.
April 26th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
The biggest higher education news in recent memory is breaking (”MIT’s Admissions Dean Resigns For Falsifying Academic Degrees” – WSJ) and you’re sitting here gossping about 8th graders!!! Go get some real dirt Ivy Gate Blog.
April 27th, 2007 at 12:00 am
Save the group!! Poke her:
http://columbia.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2244715261
April 27th, 2007 at 12:04 am
Oops, I meant: http://columbia.facebook.com/poke.php?id=1380270208&pokeback=1
April 27th, 2007 at 2:09 am
junior high kids on social networking sites = intelligence, wit and wisdom: http://kaylars.blogspot.com/2007/04/my-little-brothers-girl-drama-as-seen.html
meh.
April 27th, 2007 at 10:55 am
FYI, IvyGate, you’re being quoted on the discussion board.
April 27th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Brearley isn’t that great. You don’t have to be smart to go there, just wealthy enough to pay the bill
April 27th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
surlygrad: you’re just jealous!
April 27th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
hey, surlygrad, you either attend(ed) or are confusing brearley with chapin, our two-blocks-away, famously waspy counterpart. brearley really is pretty fantastic.
April 27th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
OK kiddies, run along now. This site is strictly for Ivy Leaguers to whine about whose school is better.
April 27th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Hi all — if you didn’t notice, we took the last 1.5 days off. Back Monday.
April 27th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
nycallgirlsprivschools -might want to edit your name.
nyc all girls priv schools
ny call girls priv schools
I read it as the second one. I’m sure there were hookers who went to private school.
April 30th, 2007 at 8:54 am
IT’S MONDAY NOW!! RISE, SHINE, RUB THE F***ING CUDDLE-SLEEPY BEARS OUT OF YOUR EYES AND ENTERTAIN ME!!! I’VE GOT 5 FINALS AND I’M FAILING A COURSE; I’M IN NO MOOD FOR PREVARICATION FROM YOU, IVYGATE.
April 30th, 2007 at 9:27 am
ditto! waiting for my monday piece of ivy gossip!
April 30th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Yes, please. Some of us need an excuse to ignore clients. Now dance, IvyGate, dance!
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:15 pm
you guys are fags
May 4th, 2007 at 10:15 am
I demand another update! Maite Cubillete lives on!
http://rutgers.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2310139487
May 12th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Actually, Brearley is an amazingly good school. It’s not like other private schools where you just have to have enough money to go there, you actually have to be intelligent. That’s what it’s known for and what makes it different. Over half of the students are on some form of financial aid anyway.
June 22nd, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Man I love the comments as much as the posts… One can almost definitively make out who went to an elite NYC private school, those that didn’t and clearly don’t knwo anything about each school’s reputation, and those that are just plain jealous. Oh, and those that don’t realize that this gossip is totally within the realms of Ivy Gate (where do you think Ivy leaguers are bred? Stuyvesant? ;))
July 8th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
wow you guys take facebook seriously, don’t you? :)
October 7th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
um.. im in maite’s class at brearley.. its funny that you guys care so much.. expecially because nobody in her own class takes her at all this seriously..
October 7th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
um.. im in maite’s class at brearley.. its funny that you guys care so much.. expecially because nobody in her own class takes her at all this seriously..
November 4th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
omg I used to work at Coleman’s right near Brearley, and I just moved back to IL, wherein I discovered this group…and the picture of 4 of my friends as the default picture. Just thought it was really funny – but yeah, Chapin is a really shitty school. Brearley is an awesome school. They’re within two or three blocks of each other, and get confused sometimes.
December 4th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Oh the times they are a-changin’.
March 25th, 2008 at 7:10 am
vitapathy returf telengiscope underbearing aerometry dioptrometer overpainful muddleheaded
http://cnn.com/2002/WEATHER/01/05/southern.snow.ap/index.html >Deep freeze brings slippery roads to snow-covered South
http://www.sbthp.org/presidio.htm
April 22nd, 2008 at 10:33 am
I definitely own that shirt…however, it was given to me as a gift by my male friend. I found it a bit odd, but often I do prefer my books over my girl friends…
October 13th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Wow this really is hilarious. I especially love this one: “Well, maybe if these 9th grade girls maintained that fine middle school figure, they wouldn’t face so much competition”