We kind of launch a new series around here every other day, some with more success than others. But we were pretty excited about IvyGate Galleries — basically, ivyTunes for art — when we announced it last month. There is some ludicrous slash good student art out there, and we were looking forward to dropping it bloodily into your commenting maw.

Alas, the submissions haven’t exactly poured in. Why the lack of interest? Maybe all the campus artists are too busy mainlining peyote and hurling their paint-lathered genitals against Chinese takeout menus — or whatever gets you an A in studio these days — to notice our solicitation. Maybe seeking publicity for your oeuvre reeks of commerce, man. Whatever the case, alert your fartsy friends that we’re looking, and in the meantime we’ll cheat a little with this initial salvo by Cornell’s Brad Wilson ’07.

Huge disclaimer: Half of us went to high school with Brad, and we actually appear in one of the images in the series (not pictured). It’s titled “Young Christian Soldiers,” and each frame reenacts a scene from the life of a Catholic saint; that’s St. Kevin above, whose caption reads: “Following his ordination as a priest, he lived as a hermit for seven years in his own filth in a cave at Glendalough.” More from the series are after the jump, but first we should probably sound a huge !WARNING! that there’s some nudity and sacrilegious stuff there.

St. Joan of Arc – She was put on trial by an ecclesiastical court, and burned at the stake as a heretic. In 1456 her case was re-tried, and Joan was acquitted (23 years too late).

St. Cyriacus – A worker in the baths of Diocletian in Rome, St. Cyriacus exorcised demons from the emperor’s daughter.

St. Agnes – Agnes was ordered to sacrifice to pagan gods and lose her virginity by rape. She was taken to a Roman temple, and then tortured when she refused to turn against her heavenly spouse, the ‘Lamb of God.’ She was beheaded.

St. Brandon – St. Brandon came upon a flock of birds. They sang so beautifully, that he prayed to God to know what these birds were saying. A bird flew over to him and said: “Sometime we were angels in heaven, but when our master Lucifer fell down into hell for his high pride, we fell with him for our offences, and because our trespass is but little, therefore our Lord hath set us here.”

St. Klaus – Upon hearing that a local man had fallen on such hard times that he was planning to sell his daughters into prostitution, Nicholas went by night to the man’s house and delivered a gift of gold, saving the girls from an evil life.

The patron saint of young lovers, St. Valentine was beheaded by Romans in 269AD.

St. Sebastian – Charged by the Roman government as a Christian, Sebastian was tied to a tree, shot with arrows, and left for dead. He survived, recovered, and returned to preach to Diocletian. The emperor then had him beaten to death.

St. Francis of Nagasaki – An adult convert to Catholicism by missionaries, he carried a set of rosary beads even before his conversion.