Ah, the smell of hot ink on carbon! The whiff of glue, fusing together page after page of freshly minted words, sheared even and sheathed in cloth for posterity. Yes folks, it’s another book deal — only this time, the hilarity, we hope, is intentional.
This round’s contestant: Simon Rich, Harvard ’06, Lampoon ex-prez, fruit of Frank’s loins, blockmate of Nick McDonell ’06, and all-round exuder of precociousness. “Ant Farm: And Other Desperate Situations,” due out in April, collects 57 writings from his ‘Poon days and since (he’s taking time off). Galleys are apparently flying around, but we haven’t netted one yet, so consider judgment suspended.
What we do know (beyond the Crimson’s initial report last year) is what this goofy piece from the Virginian-Pilot tells us: that one of the book’s fictional stories features an 11-year-old boy and his profligate mother, who is busy boinking her way through a local minor-league hockey team, the Norfolk Admirals. The kicker, though, is that the five players she brings home, one by one — Marty Wilford, Jason Morgan, Igor Radulov, Michal Barinka and Steve Passmore — are actual former players for the Admirals.
According to the piece, the players seem more baffled than angry:
He has never been in a situation such as that described in the story, Wilford said, but is “not really” bothered by the use of his name.
Admirals general manager Al MacIsaac had much the same reaction: He found the story odd, he said, but not upsetting “because it’s fiction.”
That’s evident to anyone who knew the players involved, MacIsaac said , explaining: “Marty Wilford and Jason Morgan wouldn’t have been sleeping with the same type of woman.”
The publisher claims the names of the players and the team will be changed in the final version. Frankly, we’re disappointed. Casting fiction as fact carries all sorts of ethical baggage — hey Jimbo! — but absorbing fact into fiction? Fair game! Well, maybe not legally. But something about a random hockey player going down in Google Book Search history as the guy who slept with some kid’s mom is, by our lights, comedy gold.