Just a Little Amuse-Bouche to Get Us In the Mood For Duke (aka The Inevitable Lacrosse Post)
We’re off, we’re off to Duke! Bright and early tomorrow! (Odds we miss the 7:55 a.m. flight: 2:1.) It’s feeling like a serendipitous weekend. The first men’s lacrosse game since The Business is at 12:30, it’s sunny, and we can’t wait to blow through as much of the university’s cash as possible. Wooo!
We asked our Duke correspondent for a fare-thee-well — let’s listen in!
What the hell are you two talking about? People: When these idiots cross the Mason-Dixon line tomorrow, they’re in for some fun toxic culture shock. But they will also see a lacrosse game — and all the of the attendant fatuousness that comes with the “healing” of an institution. While lots of people (esp the flagrantly unethical prosecutor Mike Nifong) have misbehaved since that awful party went wrong in March 2006, the worst are the “Group of 88″ – faculty members who are genuinely disappointed that a rape didn’t occur, and some of whose number just today published another column in the Duke Chronicle.
Given their appalling assumption of guilt way past when it was defensible, it’s hard to seriously listen to this long list of empty academic platitudes. But let’s give it a whirl, because you smiley guys seriously have no idea what you’re getting yourselves into. The following list of “facts” represent such a smug departure from reality as to cause one to file a transfer application:
Whatever happened at the lacrosse party last spring, three facts remain undisputed: racial epithets were used; a Duke student group hired two female strippers for the entertainment of young men; and underage drinking was encouraged.
Oh, those are the three undisputed facts? Not that three students were indicted for crimes that, the nation now agrees, so obviously did not occur? Not that the name of an institution was dragged through the dirt by overzealous media? Not that Duke’s own faculty are still, one year later, trying to trash several students who have been all but exonerated by the accuser herself?
So what I suspect our pair of Ivy League ink-slingers will find this weekend is a student body sick of the sanctimony of its own faculty. Whatever happens, tomorrow’s lax game will be one hell of a circus show. But what you won’t see or hear much about is the latest woefully under-reported tidbit. Oh, you didn’t know there was a new rape allegation? Thanks to Nifong, God knows what the truth is here, or in the future. Have a great time, guys!! XOXO, write me!
Us again. Well, now we’re in the mood!! Seriously though, we have a big weekend planned. If you’re at Duke and you want to show us around, get in touch. Everybody else, we’ll see you lateish Monday.
11 Comments | 
| 
Print This Post
Read more: Duke, field trip
Email – 
Search
About
Follow us on Twitter
Report a bug
Archives
RSS Feed
February 24th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
How could you not mention Dartmouth, the Ivy League opponent? I thought this was IvyGate, not “DirtySouthGate.”
February 24th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
duke really raped them today
February 24th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Thanks for that, EML ‘10. Just couldn’t let that one pass by, eh? Couldn’t read the article and let the world be without your little piece of wit? Reading the last few words of the article, the muse moved you to express your soul through the written word. Like Shakespeare, Byron, and Joyce, you put pen to paper (ish) and showed the world a new way of thinking.
What if your Mom had been raped, jackass? Would you be quite so quick on the draw with that joke then?
I understand that the Duke lacrosse players are innocent of rape, but that doesn’t mean that rape isn’t real.
God damn, I sound like a bull-dyke feminist, but I’m a guy and a former lacrosse player. Just don’t make comments that are that stupid, and everything’s cool, right?
February 24th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
What the hell is EML anyway?
February 25th, 2007 at 1:24 am
but seriously, the duke lacrosse players are about as innocent as oj.
February 26th, 2007 at 1:12 am
that dartmouth isnt even mentioned in this post is exactly the same as the tv coverage of the game. they didnt even say dartmouth was playing until faceoff
February 26th, 2007 at 9:16 am
Freshmen, chill.
February 26th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
these guys definitely did not rape anyone. wait, i mean they definitely did not not rape anyone. yeah, there we go.
February 26th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Planning on posting anything today? Or is IvyGate going the way of 02138?
February 26th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
i believe they’re on a posting break while they’re at duke so they can have time to enjoy southern “culture.”
February 27th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
I just want to say that the “IvyGate” on the window of this bus reminds me of the good old days when it was the masthead for the green, centered layout.