Even When Not Drinking, Dartmouth Is Drinking
It's common knowledge that Dartmouth students drink beer like water. (Exhibit A, exhibit B.) What we didn't know is that they drink water like beer.
Check out this e-mail sent out by Dartmouth community director and fun cop Kristin "What Is Her" Deal, excerpted below:
Hey Everyone!
It has come to my attention through damage and clean-up reports that some of you are playing water pong [emphasis added] in the basement lounges/Choates Common areas. I thought it would be a good idea to answer some of the frequently asked questions about the residence halls and water pong, before any clean-up charges were assessed to you.
*Am I allowed to play water pong in the residence halls?
The answer to this is no. I know that finding a table in one of the fraternity basements is difficult and with it being so cold outside, it is easier to stay in and emulate beer pong by playing water pong in the basements. However, there are reasons that this policy exists (to be discussed as answers to the next questions). ...
*What is the harm? We are not underage drinking?:
I know that this seems like a good balance between the Dartmouth drinking culture and just trying to have fun. However, water pong can be just as dangerous if not more so. When playing beer pong you begin to feel the effects of the alcohol on your body, where as you might not be able to assess the effects of water intoxication the same way. Water intoxication is a reality and can cause damage to your body including death. A woman in California died about two weeks ago from water intox. You can read about her story here: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/13/water.intox.ap/index.html ...
Thanks and Good Luck in this time of Midterms!
Kristin
While Deal's concern about water binging is legit (we don't know why we know this, but it's called hyponatremia and it's real), it seems pretty unlikely students will H2O.D. during beer pong practice. Let's all say that together now: beer pong practice. One freshman explained it to us this way:
Kids who are very good at pong here generally are more socially accepted, get more girls, etc. Pong tables are not easy to come by in a frat basement because of the high demand, and the winner will always stay on, so there is a high incentive to win. Since Dartmouth social life is largely based around playing pong, if you suck your night will just be spent watching people play pong, which is boring and lame.
[K]ids actually want to play real pong, since it is so ingrained in our social life, but because we are freshmen it is hard to land a table (unless you're a hot chick) so they want to play here in our dorm. But, since all freshmen dorms are technically sub-free and one can get in serious trouble for actually possessing alcohol, water pong is the best available substitute.
And that's how we know we're in the presence of masters: even when they're not drinking, they're practicing so as to maximize any future drinking experience. We would expect nothing less from the Abner Doubledays of the sport.
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February 1st, 2007 at 12:49 pm
As a Dartmouth student, I take great offense at the picture in this article. We play real pong at Dartmouth
see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dartmouth_pong
February 1st, 2007 at 1:02 pm
I’m an alum and I agree with the first comment. My first thought when reading the post was that the logo was cool but not at all representative of the pong being played at Dartmouth.
February 1st, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Agreed. Beirut is a degenerate relative to the sport we play here.
February 1st, 2007 at 1:23 pm
At exactly how much water you need to drink before you hurt yourself. The woman mentioned was also not peeing, and I don’t know the specifics of Dartmouth Pong, but if peeing isn’t allowed I want no part of it. Sounds like the admins just want a lame excuse to stomp out part of a drinking culture no matter how pathetic practicing beer pong may be.
February 1st, 2007 at 1:36 pm
A beirut picture? How sad. The email is obviously from a ‘10, but seriously, being the “happiest” students that we are, there’s tons to do besides pong (like pre-game before a French drill session!)
February 1st, 2007 at 1:40 pm
How dare you! It’s pong. Why did “I think I’m going to throw a ball in a cup” EVER catch on?! It requires skill, we leave beirut to state schools.
February 1st, 2007 at 1:42 pm
that beirut logo looks funny. something about the trajectory of the ball relative to the position of his hand strikes me as being a bit off.
February 1st, 2007 at 1:42 pm
The CD’s point is sorta true, except for the fact that you don’t really HAVE to drink your water when the ball sinks in your cup. Mandatory beer consumption is understandable, but in all honesty, no one will say “DRINK YOUR WATER! DRINK, DRINK, DRINK!”
February 1st, 2007 at 1:45 pm
As a resident of the Choates, I received this email. No one was drinking the damn water. You pour it out.
Kristen Deal could have had some credibility from this email if she had just claimed the games were causing water damages, but this ridiculous warning makes it pretty clear she just wanted to be a bitch.
February 1st, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Playing water pong is just a way to practice. In frat basements or out of it, most people actually don’t drink the water anyway; it just serves as a free & convenient way to mark the score and simulate the real game. In my opinion, the administration is misguided on the fact that people would actually suffer from water intoxication.
Pong is just a social activity; I know a few people who don’t even drink alcohol & still go out and have a good time and dominate a pong table (though some might argue it’s cause they’re sober). From my own personal experience and from conversations with friends, there is no pressure to drink here. It’s your choice, and people almost always respect that. If you don’t want to drink but your partner does (or if you two just don’t want to drink that much, because you’re trying not to get too drunk — or too much drunker), it’s socially acceptable to play half- or full-water. Not everybody drinks at Dartmouth and not everybody drinks till the point of blacking out. It’s a bad stereotype that keeps getting perpetuated.
And I have to clarify the sentence “they’re practicing so as to maximize any future drinking experience”. If by ‘future drinking experience’ you mean being social, having a good time, and picking up romantic interests, then yes. But if by ‘future drinking experience’ you literally mean maximizing the amount of alcohol you will drink, then no. The fact that you win — and the point of practicing to get better — is so that you *don’t* drink. If you’re losing, you drink more. (Forgive me if I’m just misreading that sentence, though.)
February 1st, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Losing one game equates to drinking about 3 beers, if you are playing with a partner who drinks half. Winning ten games in a row equates to drinking around 20 beers, if you are really good. Therefore, by practicing with water pong you are, in a sense, maximizing the alcohol you will intake in future drinking experiences. D’09, keep practicing. IvyGate, keep posting. Nobody rages anymore.
February 1st, 2007 at 2:14 pm
the water is there simply to keep the cups from moving. have you ever tried playing beirut with empty cups? it’s fucking impossible. one rim shot can cause the cups to scatter.
February 1st, 2007 at 2:33 pm
World hunder, racism, sexism, and people are troubling themselves over whether or not they get to practice pong.
February 1st, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Clearly the guy in the logo isn’t following-through with its shot. It’s a beginner’s mistake and they put it on the logo! Jerry West would be rolling over in his grave if he were dead.
February 1st, 2007 at 3:12 pm
the only person who finds this post and all attached comments the funniest thing ever? quoth D09 in his elaborate defense of dartmouth’s non-drinking culture: “Playing water pong is just a way to practice.”
but here’s the thing: you’re practicing beer pong. i.e. you don’t have anything better to do. at most schools, playing beirut is a relatively entertaining way to get drunk. at dartmouth, if I’m to believe D09, it’s the center of social life.
I’m still laughing about this.
February 1st, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Playing with water is pure anathema. If you don’t want to drink the beer off the table, you should have the decency to pour it on your head… and then end yourself.
February 1st, 2007 at 3:27 pm
chester chafes us chester chafes us all the time all the time
February 1st, 2007 at 4:42 pm
pong at dartmouth is not beirut.
February 1st, 2007 at 6:05 pm
All of these comments (and the wikipedia article linked from the first post) make me really glad I didn’t go to Dartmouth.
February 1st, 2007 at 6:47 pm
You’re right, Yale’s better, except for the strikes. And the fact that profs don’t give shit about you (if you’re lucky to get them in the first place). And the hellhole that is New Haven. I’d take the undergrad education at Dartmouth anyday–and it doesn’t hurt that they’re always listed at the top of the quality of life lists.
February 1st, 2007 at 8:07 pm
You are all wrong. The CD is only doing her job and trying to protect you sorry people. Maybe you should stop bashing the messenger who has good advise and look at yourselves. Grow up and take responsiblity for your actions.
February 1st, 2007 at 8:59 pm
“Grow up and take responsiblity for your actions.”
That’s probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. Have you not been reading the above comments? Nobody drinks the water when playing, so the CD’s concern is noble, but unnecessary. As for the “grow up…” part, well…only an idiot Cornellian would fail to see that responsibility has nothing to do with this.
February 1st, 2007 at 9:11 pm
and honestly, if this article makes you glad you don’t go to dartmouth, then we’re glad you don’t go to dartmouth.
February 1st, 2007 at 9:46 pm
I admit, Y’ 03 just got owned.
February 1st, 2007 at 9:51 pm
So…I know every square foot of Dartmouth-owned land is wireless, but you Dartmouth students really love to pounce on Dartmouth-related posts.
February 1st, 2007 at 11:19 pm
The pricks who are out to crucify anyone who doesn’t let them destroy the dorms we all live in forgot to include the rest of the email, which has to do with the real problem with water pong: the losers who weren’t cleaning up after themselves. I’m sure that if they were smart about how they were playing, no one would’ve cared about how they chose to live their sorry-ass excuse for a social life. As it is, the CD was just keeping my tuition down by reducing the amount of furniture the college will have to replace.
——-
Other parts of the email:
*What are the policies surrounding water pong in the residence halls: (all policies are outlined in Welcome Home)
1) Damage Policy: Residents may be held liable for any damage and/or loss to a room, its furnishings, or any other part of the residence hall or its environs. Simply put, when using study tables in the lounges for water pong you might cause damage to the table, walls, room, etc. that will be assessed to your hall mates. Also, the basement lounges have been left a mess, which will result in a clean-up charge.
2)Room furnishings: Ping-Pong tables, pool tables, video arcade games and other large game tables (by use or function) are not permitted due to limited room space and potential disruption to other students.
…
These are just a few policies to begin with. If you want to read the rest, I would direct you to your Welcome Home handbook or look it up online at: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~orl/documents/welcome-home-06-07.pdf
February 2nd, 2007 at 1:20 am
Growing up and responsibility has everything to do with it. Does someone have to end up in the hospital or worse because of a stupid college game. Maybe you all need to find something better to do with your time, like studing. But that of course would mean acting like mature adults.
February 2nd, 2007 at 1:32 am
78, learn to read. No one drinks the water. It’s used for keeping score and then it’s thrown out. While, I admit I have not seen all there is to see at Dartmouth, I have never seen a single person drink water while playing pong. It’s just used to keep score. As far as finding something better to do with our time, practicing pong is an excellent use of time. Pong is life, at least socially.
February 2nd, 2007 at 1:57 am
The pricks who are out to crucify anyone who doesn’t let them destroy the dorms we all live in forgot to include the rest of the email, which has to do with the real problem with water pong: the losers who weren’t cleaning up after themselves. I’m sure that if they were smart about how they were playing, no one would’ve cared about how they chose to live their sorry-ass excuse for a social life. As it is, the CD was just keeping my tuition down by reducing the amount of furniture the college will have to replace.
I agree. The CD’s just doing her job. Besides, I pay too damn much to go to this school to have you idiots increasing my tuition payments because of your inconsiderate behavior.
February 2nd, 2007 at 2:13 am
Here’s what this all boils down too. If you don’t like the school rules then go somewhere else. Quit whining and shut up.
February 2nd, 2007 at 3:16 am
Man, I’m sure glad I decided to go to school in a city where one can get a real drink in a bar and not have to stand around in a crowded frat-house basement to get their kicks. But then again, I write this from a library at 3:15 on a Thursday night, so whatevs.
February 2nd, 2007 at 5:09 am
You can mock New Haven, Yale and me as much as you like, but this is just classic:
“As far as finding something better to do with our time, practicing pong is an excellent use of time. Pong is life, at least socially.”
Hahahaaa
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:52 am
“and honestly, if this article makes you glad you don’t go to dartmouth, then we’re glad you don’t go to dartmouth.”
Well put d08. I couldn’t agree more.
February 2nd, 2007 at 9:40 am
i love the people who don’t go to dartmouth acting like they understand dartmouth and our frat-drinking culture. You obviously have never been on campus or you’d know what pong is, why its so fun, and why we play instead of “studying like mature adults”
February 2nd, 2007 at 9:47 am
can a dartmouth student please explain what dartmouth pong is and why it is so much better than beirut?
February 2nd, 2007 at 11:04 am
mch-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dartmouth_pong
wikipedia article is probably your best bet as far as rules go. To understand the level at which it is ingrained in the culture would probably require a trip to Dartmouth.
February 2nd, 2007 at 11:47 am
although I’ve only visited Dartmouth a couple of weekends, I can say that “Dartmouth pong” is pretty darn fun. The social scene seems to be dominated by frat houses, so it does feel very different from Yale. but I still liked it. it’s nice to visit a different college every once in a while and get a break from your usual routine.
February 2nd, 2007 at 12:00 pm
No other Ivy represents the motto, “study hard, play hard” like Dartmouth does. I must admit, people (like that ‘78 guy) who don’t make an effort to have fun in their college years (so you go to school in the city, have fun waiting until your senior year to drink at a bar) will be quite sad when they think back to all those nostalgic nights in the library.
February 2nd, 2007 at 2:12 pm
I totally understand a drinking culture coming from suburban NY (MHS #2 in the nation for underage drinking!), but to practice beer pong in order to get better when you actually play is pretty lame. I love pong, flip-cup, and quarters as much as anybody, but to take it to that level is pretty weird. Frat parties and bars are different and people have their preferences, but one isn’t absolutely better than the other. And D’07, at city schools there is a fake-ID culture, especially for the freshman in their first few weeks.
February 2nd, 2007 at 3:36 pm
I find it funny a lot of people are making comments on the game without ever have played it
Dartmouth pong is NOT beirut, and is fun
try it
February 2nd, 2007 at 7:27 pm
D09 is absolutely incorrect when he or she said “it’s socially acceptable to play half- or full-water. Not everybody drinks at Dartmouth and not everybody drinks till the point of blacking out. It’s a bad stereotype that keeps getting perpetuated.”
Drink your fucking beer.
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:59 pm
DRINK IT OR WEAR IT WHALESHITS
February 3rd, 2007 at 4:36 am
You’re not actually supposed to *drink* the water. Keep a pitcher under the table so you can empty/refill cups as necessary.
February 7th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
what d07 said. drink it or wear it. whaleshits.
February 22nd, 2007 at 1:19 am
Buy a sheet of plywood and play in your dorm room if its such a problem. and use beer. or not. or BYOB and play in a basement earlier in the evening. or play dice. By the way, not sure I’ve ever seen someone hook up with a girl that they wouldn’t have hooked up with anyway, by being good at pong. That said, I can imagine a scenario where it might help.
February 27th, 2007 at 3:24 am
I remember a particular summer where I was so bad at pong that some girl actually started playing strip pong with me where SHE would take off an article of clothing for every sink SHE made… Hooking up is never about how well you play pong, it is about how sketchy the chick is willing to be.