Shower Stalls Are For Showering
Being the master of an undergraduate college at Yale is normally a cushy appointment. You get to host master's teas with Philip Seymour Hoffman and other celebs/talented people; liberally fund nude pictorial calendars; and generally be the "cool professor" who has lots of personal interaction with students.
Sometimes, though, you have to be the law. A Yale tipster shares this bulletin from Prof. Jon Holloway, master of Calhoun College:
From: Jonathan Holloway
To: All Calhoun Students
Sent: Tuesday, January 30, 2007 9:10 AM
Subject: Showers Stalls are for ShoweringOK, well THIS is the most awkward college-wide e-mail I've ever had to send....
The college showers are to be used by individuals for hygenic purposes only. They are not to be used by couples engaged in intimate activity--especially that kind of activity that leaves the showers in a decidedly less hygenic state.
Several times since the start of the spring term some Hounies have come across a couple having the time of their lives in a shower stall. Last night the shower flooded and the bathroom could not be used for over 90 minutes. To the as yet unidentified couple, this may be pleasureable and exciting for you but it is a violation of community standards. Please stop.
I really don't want to explore this matter any further as I respect your individual privacy. But such continued brazen public displays of affection will only invite public embarrassment. I beg of you, let's not go there.
JH
This is obvs our favorite reader tip in a long, long time. The fact that a man with a Ph.D. has to police students doing the excitement in the hall shower -- wait, scratch that, is threatening indiscreet students with public embarrassment ... we're betting this didn't come up when Yale offered Holloway the job.
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January 31st, 2007 at 11:51 am
My friends who graduated a couple years ago said the same thing happened here (at Brown), except I think the offenders were by themselves….
January 31st, 2007 at 12:37 pm
This obviously happens. What I like about this e-mail is that Holloway sounds awesome.
January 31st, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I’ve walked in on similar situations at Princeton. And, um, was once part of one in a semi-private bathroom (shared by two rooms).
January 31st, 2007 at 1:42 pm
ah the perks of being a housemaster. i need to rethink my career goals to include sending housewide emails regarding personal time in the showers.
January 31st, 2007 at 1:46 pm
This email is made better by the well known hotness of Jonathan Holloway.
January 31st, 2007 at 3:51 pm
upcampus: your faux-coy internet bragging is really impressing the shit out of me and all the other iLadies
January 31st, 2007 at 7:00 pm
dear hellodolly,
“your faux-coy internet bragging is really impressing the shit out of me and all the other iLadies” = greatest comment ev-er.
love,
okokokjeez
January 31st, 2007 at 7:13 pm
you don’t say! Horny men and women living in the same building. bathrooms in said building?? It’s not much of a stretch to put the men and women together in the same bathroom. I do like the memo though.
January 31st, 2007 at 7:15 pm
is anyone really surprised by these activities? it is college after all. men’s and women’s bathrooms were often unisex at my (state) school. some of the students didn’t like it.
January 31st, 2007 at 7:19 pm
“obvs”? come on, guys.
there’s a letter on college humor from a residential college custodial manager telling students not to jack off in the showers, as it gums up the drains.
January 31st, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Lol. That letter on collegehumor was a joke by a group of farnam students last spring. It was hilarious and well-done. it was at least 2 days later before people found out it was a joke
January 31st, 2007 at 10:02 pm
The showers at Yale are the best I ever had.
January 31st, 2007 at 11:14 pm
happened at Mount Holyoke, too…and some of it was girl-on-girl action. For real. My ears are still burning.
February 1st, 2007 at 12:54 am
Damn, I do miss college.
February 1st, 2007 at 1:13 am
maybe more
February 1st, 2007 at 11:19 am
ok seriously, who hasn’t done this?
February 1st, 2007 at 11:34 pm
As a friend recently reminded me, another similarly awkward email went out from the senior tutor at Leverett House when I was there. Simply put: “Whoever shat in the stairwell, seek help.” I miss college.
February 2nd, 2007 at 11:25 am
I have to point out – Holloway (the hottest master ever) is Master of the same college in which that psycho-Vayner used to reside.
February 2nd, 2007 at 5:16 pm
The point is that the facilities are shared.
I don’t want to shower in someone else’s toilet.
February 2nd, 2007 at 7:45 pm
“I don’t want to shower in someone else’s toilet.”
I’m puzzled by this comment. Do you do a lot of fucking in the toilet?
February 3rd, 2007 at 5:42 am
Yes. What of it?
February 3rd, 2007 at 8:41 am
The couple in question is two young males.
February 3rd, 2007 at 9:11 am
Now read and repeat real slowly (esp. ivygirl):toilet=shitting; shower=bathing; bedroom=sleeping/fucking given SHARED facilities. That’s part of the social contract. And as a 54 year old man I apologize for my generation bringing you youngsters up awash in so much media erotica. But finally, GOD i wish that was ME with some hot blonde coed!!
February 3rd, 2007 at 9:21 am
Only Yalies could screw up shower sex by clogging the drain.
February 3rd, 2007 at 10:47 am
Are we even sure Master Holloway sent this, and that it’s NOT just another masturbatory shower-clogging prank? It’s possible on Yale e-mail–although I haven’t done it myself–to mask the sending address with a fake one. It’s how frats can send our mass e-mails with funny, non-functioning returns. I don’t know how it’s done, just that it’s possible.
February 3rd, 2007 at 11:38 am
It’s definitely Holloway. I emailed with him. Fun guy.
February 3rd, 2007 at 12:51 pm
The parts of this that no one’s mentioned: First, showers in Calhoun and pretty much any other college are disgusting. Second, how the hell do you flood a shower while having sex? Were they lying on the floor? Third, Holloway is the father of two young children who live in the college in the Master’s House. Best environment ever to grow up in
February 3rd, 2007 at 1:56 pm
hey that’s a great question: how DID they clog the shower? did they leave a condom in the drain or something?
February 3rd, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Apparently, the Associated Press deemed the story important enough to put its on its newsreels:
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-Yale-Shower-Sex.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
This is kind of sad. In addition, the story also reportedly appeared on the front page of New Haven register. One would think that the press would have better things to write about. Oh my god, college students are having sex! In the showers! I guess we are all destined to burn in hell.
February 3rd, 2007 at 5:31 pm
y07: If you’ve been going to Yale for four years, surely you know by now that journalists will jump on any story about elite colleges and sex. You’re too young to remember the hoopla about Natalie Krinsky or Porn n Chicken, but surely there have been similar stories in the past four years?
February 3rd, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Sorry for the cross-post, but I wanted ppl to know that middle-aged fuddy-duddies aren’t always…
My comments on Mr. Gelernter’s blog are equally apt here:
The continued descent into moral degradation is a bit over the top–this sort of thing has been going on since at least, oh, 1969 (and, I have NO doubt, prior).
And I can *personally* guarantee that it occurred in the mid 80s. Yes, in the showers, on the rooftops, and, yes, in the middle of a midnight courtyard. Let’s see, where else–the language lab, the stacks, the print shop, the annex, the dining hall (sorry, diners), the college (unnamed, but NOT TD) library, the elevator, the women’s room outside the dining hall, East Rock, West Rock, and I’m sure a few other places that I have forgotten…
Ah, college.
Oh, by the way, I *am* a conservative, solidly married for many years now (with children!) to my cohort in many of these premarital “crimes.” While we no longer cavort about the rooftops, we still make time (as we can) for moral degradation.
Thanks for the laugh, Dan!
February 3rd, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Sorry for the cross-post, but I wanted ppl to know that middle-aged fuddy-duddies aren’t always…
My comments on Mr. Gelernter’s blog are equally apt here:
The continued descent into moral degradation is a bit over the top–this sort of thing has been going on since at least, oh, 1969 (and, I have NO doubt, prior).
And I can *personally* guarantee that it occurred in the mid 80s. Yes, in the showers, on the rooftops, and, yes, in the middle of a midnight courtyard. Let’s see, where else–the language lab, the stacks, the print shop, the annex, the dining hall (sorry, diners), the college (unnamed, but NOT TD) library, the elevator, the women’s room outside the dining hall, East Rock, West Rock, and I’m sure a few other places that I have forgotten…
Ah, college.
Oh, by the way, I *am* a conservative, solidly married for many years now (with children!) to my cohort in many of these premarital “crimes.” While we no longer cavort about the rooftops, we still make time (as we can) for moral degradation.
Thanks for the laugh, Dan!
February 5th, 2007 at 7:36 am
Nice to see times haven’t changed. Got brought before the dean of students at an uptight little college in 1980 for same thing – except I was an RA and the Hussie who seduced poor freshman boy… He, of course, was not faulted a bit, as everyone knows, boys will be boys.
February 16th, 2007 at 4:10 pm
Hey, at least it’s getting Hounies to bathe somewhat.
August 25th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Seems all your respondents were in college in the ’80s. You should have been there in tht ’60s! BORING!!!! LORD, I wish I was 18 again (ibid. George Burns)
September 15th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Does anybody know the details of the “Calhoun Suzy” affair of the late 1950’s. “Suzy” was an underaged townie who specialized in blow jobs for jocks at Calhoun. Eventually the police intervened and some Yalies were kicked out. Rumor had it that Suzy went to Harvard (Radcliff) several years later. Anybody out there know more details or a different version?
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