Being the master of an undergraduate college at Yale is normally a cushy appointment. You get to host master’s teas with Philip Seymour Hoffman and other celebs/talented people; liberally fund nude pictorial calendars; and generally be the “cool professor” who has lots of personal interaction with students.
Sometimes, though, you have to be the law. A Yale tipster shares this bulletin from Prof. Jon Holloway, master of Calhoun College:
From: Jonathan Holloway
To: All Calhoun Students
Sent: Tuesday, January 30, 2007 9:10 AM
Subject: Showers Stalls are for Showering
OK, well THIS is the most awkward college-wide e-mail I’ve ever had to send….
The college showers are to be used by individuals for hygenic purposes only. They are not to be used by couples engaged in intimate activity–especially that kind of activity that leaves the showers in a decidedly less hygenic state.
Several times since the start of the spring term some Hounies have come across a couple having the time of their lives in a shower stall. Last night the shower flooded and the bathroom could not be used for over 90 minutes. To the as yet unidentified couple, this may be pleasureable and exciting for you but it is a violation of community standards. Please stop.
I really don’t want to explore this matter any further as I respect your individual privacy. But such continued brazen public displays of affection will only invite public embarrassment. I beg of you, let’s not go there.
This is obvs our favorite reader tip in a long, long time. The fact that a man with a Ph.D. has to police students doing the excitement in the hall shower — wait, scratch that, is threatening indiscreet students with public embarrassment … we’re betting this didn’t come up when Yale offered Holloway the job.