URGENT! WE NEED YOUR HELP! Michael Berube, This Means War
All right everyone. We don't usually ask much of you. But desperate times call for desperate blog posts. See the man/force of nature to the right? This is your enemy. Know his face. For if we don't act soon, that face will haunt your dreams and ours night after night, at least through winter break.
He is Michael Berube, our urgently new archnemesis. His blog, michaelberube.com, is currently leading IvyGate in the campaign for Best Educational Blog at the 2006 Weblog Awards by 80-odd votes. Clearly this cannot stand.
So here's the plan: Vote! Then make all your friends vote! Then vote again! Seriously, make voting part of your daily routine. The rules allow for a new ballot every 24 hours, and we fully expect your sedentary finals lifestyle to whisk us across the finish line in first place, nine days from now.
But as a precaution, our rapid response team is standing by, ready to loose Berube attack ads upon the electorate in the event that his lead surges into the triple digits. As such, Berube-related rumors, allegations and blackmail fodder of the flimsiest kind should be sent immediately to ivygate@gmail.com. Oh and did we mention, vote?
The 2006 Weblog Awards -- Best Education Blog [Click here to vote]
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December 9th, 2006 at 2:00 am
I think the Gate should stand down! I love you guys BUT… Berube is clearly and honestly in a BATTLE against the forces of evil that would change the calculus of the planet… Let him come out on top this time… and then later… u dudes can have it!
December 9th, 2006 at 2:10 am
Haha, screw you, IvyGate, I’m voting for Berube just to spite you douchebags.
December 9th, 2006 at 3:34 am
vote! vote, goddam all of you vote! for ivygate!
December 9th, 2006 at 6:39 am
you guys? lame. this berube guy? also lame. the very concept of weblog awards? again, pretty lame. i’m not voting at all.
December 9th, 2006 at 10:52 am
What’s all this about some kind of “weblog” competition? I’m just a mild-mannered pedagogue tryin’ to help some people, educational-wise.
And while I’m grading papers all week, forces over which I have no control have commandeered my humble blog. The timing is most unfortunate, but so be it: after all, helping people is our first priority. So if my independent research team digs up any rumors, allegations and blackmail fodder of the flimsiest kind about IvyGate, just remember, I had nothing to do with it.
Sincerely yours,
Michael Bérubé
Columbia ‘82 through no fault (or merit) of my own
December 9th, 2006 at 11:23 am
Lighten up, Michael. It’s all in good fun.
December 9th, 2006 at 11:31 am
But of course! I understood this post to be upping the banter ante, and a fine job it does, too.
Besides, the important thing is that IvyGate and I crush the homeschoolers.
December 9th, 2006 at 11:46 am
homeschoolers suck
December 9th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
Just a four-vote margin now.
December 9th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
I know his name is bérubé, but I keep reading it as ‘Bublé’. It’s very disturbing.
December 9th, 2006 at 5:41 pm
It’s not buberé?
December 9th, 2006 at 5:57 pm
another vote for berube. you guys are shameless.
December 9th, 2006 at 6:11 pm
This is the same level as Ivy student gov elections
December 9th, 2006 at 6:23 pm
leading by 50+
work it.
December 9th, 2006 at 6:55 pm
I’m now down by more than 60, so I have to unveil the new campaign slogan: vote for me and all your wildest dreams will come true.
December 9th, 2006 at 7:27 pm
Michael Berube has enemies like David Horowitz and Bill O’Reilly. And the enemy of my enemy won’t get fooled again. Or whatever. The point is, I’m voting for Berube.
December 9th, 2006 at 7:57 pm
Sorry Gaties, but he’s so much hotter than you- though do your female fans a favor- get rid of the beard…
December 10th, 2006 at 4:25 am
Wait’ll you see Bérubé do his Tiger Woods impersonation in The Land That Time Forgot. Fore!
December 10th, 2006 at 2:37 pm
Voted again. You keep turning out that vote, Ivygate!
December 10th, 2006 at 3:35 pm
me too, except berube is winning again. yikes!
December 10th, 2006 at 4:42 pm
A discussion on class and culture by Mr. Berube in competition for awards against homeschoolers and ivygates plutocratic fascist naziesque orwellian roveianlly infanticidal american youth, conscienless inantile lemmings headed for destruction as fast as they can pull train on Jesus wife. A side scenario of the american ” murder the messiah ” or ” kill Christ ” sanctioned strategy that your nyc banker buddies, politicians and sceretary of defense have paranoidly deployed round the world in a King Herod like search. Throw that into your discussion on American class and culture.
December 10th, 2006 at 7:03 pm
Someone should just go to a library or comp lab and hit up the computers there. I mean, we all have tons of public computers at our colleges.
December 10th, 2006 at 7:36 pm
We want a page update! You can’t use exams as an excuse for blowing off your obligations, so get to it.
I’d love to fill you in on Cornell’s happenings, but… you know.
December 10th, 2006 at 10:38 pm
“Someone should just go to a library or comp lab and hit up the computers there. I mean, we all have tons of public computers at our colleges.”
yoo hoo, Weblog Awards people! Invalidate their votes!
December 10th, 2006 at 10:51 pm
I disavow any knowledge of this “MB attack dog.” On the contrary, I think all computers everywhere should be devoted to ballot-stuffing for this one race. Also, I think christianarchisti makes a good point, and I will certainly incorporate it into my lectures.
December 11th, 2006 at 2:52 am
christianarchisti – you are a huge tool.
December 11th, 2006 at 8:54 am
michael buble,
love your starbucks commercials and silky smooth voice. you were born to sing christmas carols during halftime at the super bowl. also, you are a very good frank sinatra impersonator.
computers were not made to be devoted for frivilous acts such as ballot surfing.
they were made to go on the internet and to download and store porn (period).
the quality of this blog has now been taken down one notch, perhaps even two..
-james
December 11th, 2006 at 10:05 am
Scandal! Scandal!
Bérubé is not Bérubé or rather, he’s both of them. They’re twins, Doc and Stix. While Doc’s here desperately trying to save face, Stix has taken a journey to the netwebs underworld to Diebold the vote. And they’re shamelessly open about it, the foul miscreants:
http://www.michaelberube.com/index.php/weblog/comments/1117/
December 11th, 2006 at 10:31 am
Mr. Slivovitz has apparently imbibed too much of himself. As I stated quite clearly on Michael’s blog, the MoOaD of the WAAGNFNP does not condone any illegitimate ballot stuffing measures! Sir, I demand a retraction.
December 11th, 2006 at 11:37 am
Ah, the Retraction Action Faction of the WAAGNFNP.
December 12th, 2006 at 1:02 am
The spunkies are gaining fast. Work those computer labs, or abandon ship and support Michael!
December 12th, 2006 at 10:51 pm
3rd! Ivygate is third? Cmon, you can slither 700 votes out of somewhere. Right?