WANTED: Thoughtless Taskmasters Seek Masochist Intern For Menial Chores, No Pay
Journalism interns may be the most exploited group in the American economy* — unpredictable hours, menial tasks, no pay. (But endless college credit!) It’s the biggest scam since yearbook photos. And we want in.
WANTED: An IvyGate intern. We put out feelers during (cough) an interview with the Crimson, but we want to open it up to the whole world, non-Ivies included. Are you bursting with rage beneath a sassy veneer? Want to get banned from your campus daily? How about getting punched/laid/ignored at parties? We guarantee one of the three!
Please get in touch (orphans only; no Irish) if you’re interested and we’ll tell you what’s next. Basically, we’re looking for a current undergrad to find items and update the site when we’re unavailable. Must give good blog; Movable Type and HTML nerdery a plus; borderline alcoholism encouraged. Note that we already have stringers here and there chipping in items — the point of the intern role is to be available all the time, help with site upkeep, and generally be kicked around by everyone. Either this sounds awful or great; you know who you are. Applicants enclosing resumes will be rejected unseen.
(*Aside from, um, the people who really are exploited.)
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November 11th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
No but since your daddy paid some friends of mine $ 2000 to eat a plate of my friends feces, since your daddy paid $ 1000 to drink a mug full of piss of another co worker, since your daddy paid another to sew the end of his penis shut with a needle and thread regularly, since her wall in her red light district room has a better collection of dildo’s for men than any sex shop on broadway, since they played the assault with drugs to attempt to murder, since they dropped $ 2500 in my pocket to watch me have sex while he paid two fine females $ 2000 for a pricy oral argument on him while he watched my $ 5000 femme fatal provide a show with me and my bigger than his unit, since they found out they really picked the wrong man for their little king herod wanna be plan, I have a nice size book documenting your daddy’s efforts to play anti Christ that’s going to provide an incredible platform to spew the truth about your daddies. Now just like you americans did in WWII I am looking for american plutocrats to invest in their own destruction and the intern format is the platform I have already created content for. As I looked over venture capitalists and angel investors the media has been working hard to keep me in a ” pickle jar/zip lock bag ” strategy. Some of the best Grammy Award winning musicians know, some actors , tons of media ,thousands of people, your daddy, your uncle, and every person they could possibly motivate and enrage. I am still alive after an attempt in the year 2000 that left me bleeding internally for weeks, incapacitated and instantly withered. You will have a hard time imagining why they refuse to kill me now. They found what they feared. I will be keeping more than just the ivy league involved in dialogue and I just need some quick seed capital to exploit it for a year, pay them back a nyc return and wave goodbye while I finish the story.
Love
christianarchisti
November 11th, 2006 at 3:37 pm
Hey how come my great intern resume was yanked off your site? You put my name up there as well, naughty naughty of y’all now. Your know what happens in this game now, look up and pray. I thought i was actually rather nice. Is somebody hiding from the truth? My name included, you actually put my name up you liars, oh well it really would have helped with marketing. Nothing like you ivy league cowards to run from a fair fight. You kknow I’ll get you eventually.
Love
christianarchisti
November 12th, 2006 at 12:43 am
dude…what???
November 12th, 2006 at 1:39 pm
I think you should have Aleksey join your staff. It would be poetic justice.
November 12th, 2006 at 10:52 pm
hey, what the hell is up with this bradley hiley douche? wtf? dude, you need to calm down and take some xanax and step away from the blog…
November 13th, 2006 at 2:07 am
Don’t you need to be doing “journalism” in order to hire a “journalism intern?” You should be looking for a “smearing intern.”
November 13th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
Back in your cage forthwith, anon!
November 14th, 2006 at 2:09 am
Reality is harsh, just like the new bold large type format, to bad you’re not bold. I can’t write my commentary as easily in this format. This is after all psychology. The cia considers it psychological terror. I was hoping those 1600 sat’s had more than this as far as commentary.
Love
christianarchisti
P.S. oh and by the way there’s an email account set up for the not so bold to respond personally at christianarchisti@gmail.com or whatever the google free mail is. I never use it.
November 14th, 2006 at 9:14 pm
I am disappointed that there have been no responders, the experiment thus far is rather muted.