Creepy Orwellian Trance of Aleksey Vayner Fails to Generate Fun
When Harvard’s Pforzheimer House announced it was throwing an official Aleksey Vayner-themed party last week, we assumed it would be a 495-lb. blast. People could come in karate robes, or Under Armour and dance pants; gently serve tennis balls at 140 miles an hour; there could even be a little table in the back for plagiarizing books about the Holocaust. Picture it: 2 a.m., hundreds of “Impossible is Nothing” acolytes swilling Aleksey Ale and Vayner Vodka Tonics, ballroom dancing to the beat of “Solamente Tu Amor” and “The Way of the Sword” — what could go wrong?
Alas, as the above photo shows, the event was rather under-attended. In fairness, it was up against Winthrop House’s “Country Clubbin’: A Harvard-Yale ‘Tea Partay’.” More depressing pics after the jump; either this means Alekseygate has officially gotten old (should we cancel our Christmas benefit gala for Youth Empowerment Strategies?), or it’s just the usual case of Harvard kids unable to have fun when it’s handed to them on a platter.
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November 20th, 2006 at 7:21 pm
I would have to say that this party (though brilliant in concept, especially on Harvard-Yale weekend) was wildly underpromoted by the parties involved. There was free beer and a giant aleksey vayner. What else could be asked for.
Meanwhile Dead Dog Night (in Quincy House) and the aforementioned Country Clubbin in Winthrop House were both OVER-populated. I’d chalk this up to the masters in the Quad restricting parties on Friday, forcing their students to plan to go elsewhere for fun. Once those plans were established to head to the river, it was impossible to hold on to that population.
That being said, there were about 450 people there over the course of the night. And there was a lot of free beer consumed, all without the problematic odor of Bulldog in the air. Except, of course, for the watchful eye of Aleksey, teaching us all life’s most important lessons.
November 20th, 2006 at 8:39 pm
You know what’s funny? How shitty harvard parties are. The only beer 99% of yalies had that night was brought up from the have. You know why? Harvard failed to have any party worth attending. Every house we went to, the harvard kids had beat us there and sucked the fun out already. HPD was gallantly breaking up any gathering having (gasp!) alcohol. bravo harvard, for telling us once again, you suck. oh, yeah, and fun czar? what a tool. seriously, just think about this. you are hired to find a way to make college students have fun. only at harvard is this difficult.
November 20th, 2006 at 9:14 pm
I guess it’s pretty terrible to have someone at your school whose job it is to care about students. Must be weird to think about if you’re from yale and your administration is as interested in you as we are in Cambridge.
Also, “the have?” please. Call it what it is “The tire-fire/crime capital of the Ivy League.”
November 20th, 2006 at 11:45 pm
haha, burn.
seriously though, most of the yalies were holed up at the river, and most of the quadlings made plans to go to the river beforehand. it only makes sense that pfoho was underpopulated
it was kinda sad going there and seeing no one though…
November 21st, 2006 at 12:30 am
DUDE! We brought our beer!!! From THE HAVE! BEER! Goddammit is THIS COLLEGE OR NURSERY SCHOOL. HARVARD PARTIES SUCK. AT YALE, YOU KNOW WHAT’S THERE? BEER. WHICH WE DRINK.
November 21st, 2006 at 3:23 am
As much as I would like to join in the H-bashing, the party I was at had hard liquor going till 1am or so, and didn’t end till 2ish, which is longer than parties at New Haven anyways. Music could’ve been better but overall really sweet. I think lots of places ran dry pretty quickly but just as many were still flowing.
November 21st, 2006 at 8:49 am
“…didn’t end till 2ish, which is longer than parties at New Haven anyways.”
not in my four years! college parties and cultural center parties eventually evolved to be pre-parties..most of the frats have the lights on pretty late, and house parties went until whenever…and toad’s doesn’t close until 2!
I MISS COLLEGE!!!!
November 21st, 2006 at 10:17 am
I can’t think of anything sadder than Yale and Harvard people arguing about who has more fun. What a totally fruitless endeavor.
November 21st, 2006 at 1:12 pm
If you want to party hard, come to prov, Brown parties harder than any other ivy in the nation.
November 21st, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Having a fun czar is pretty pathetic, you’re right about that. But we have to pretend that the College admin cares, so there you go.
November 21st, 2006 at 1:45 pm
please no more on this guy…
although he has the charm of a penis begging to be yanked, looking at his tired facade grows older than an unwashed ass.
also, guarenteed…anyone in attendance to “veynerfest” over at harvard…guarenteed, did not get laid that night.
in fact, im willing to bet half of the so called club-goers went home and played scrabble on yahoo that night.
the other half secretly pleasured themselves while reliving the experience of watching veyners mug on a 15 foot projection screen.
nothing is impossible
go harvard
ra ra ra!
November 22nd, 2006 at 3:56 am
You can’t have two identically endowed parties within a 2 minute walk in a convenient location and then have 1 party in a location in the middle of fucking no where (the quad, where I live). Of course it’s going to be empty.
There should have been Quad parties on thurs and another river party on Friday. This failure was so obvious I don’t know how the planners didn’t realize how stupid this compromise from the original HoCo ideas was. Guaranteed to be lame, and it was.
Anyone who went to pfoho just walked downstairs, down a couple of beers as quickly as possible and got the fuck out.
November 22nd, 2006 at 10:35 am
That was the plan, but since the Quad House Masters were being terrifically prude, we didn’t have much choice. We didn’t think it was in the best interest of campus to have zero parties in the quad. I live in the quad too (in pfoho) and we just wanted to spread the love. It just sucked that masters didn’t allow more parties and that Quad students chose to flee to the river.
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