Academia Erotica Formulaica
"Congratulations, you have a sex column! Here's a number where you can commission a photographer and web designer, and here's a thesaurus for the male genitalia. You can start making eye contact with your father again in four to six years!"
When you sign up to be a sex columnist, is there one centralized madam who hands out a one-size-fits-all publicity kit? We just came across the web site of one Jessica Gold Haralson, Penn's resident "sex-positive feminist" and "intellectual pervert" (okay, we kinda like that), and it's a clone of almost every other Carrie Bradshaw wannabe's. Below, compare pale Haralson to embattled Datskovsky and their esteemed colleague, the Washingtonienne:
Yes, that actually does read "Ivy League-r. Out of yours."
Subtle:
What do you think, should we redesign our site too?
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November 2nd, 2006 at 3:59 pm
Miriam is gorgeous, as that striking-yet-subtle photo makes clear. By the way, you’d need a “vanity site” too if NPR, New York Magazine, The New York Daily News, etc. were constantly Googling your name to get your digits.
–A biased Columbian
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:23 pm
Oh man! I have no idea where this is going. You guys are craaaazy!
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:26 pm
“Miriam is gorgeous”
Who are you people? Miriam is what an uglier, older Kim Catrall might have been if she had been raised by Oompa Loompas and photographed by American Apparel’s nepotistically hired summer intern. Shave your fucking armpits.
Why do these sex columnists have to be so incredibly un-sexy?
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:25 pm
Mmmm, Oompa Loompas.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:19 pm
I keep saying you lot could use a digital facelift, and it keeps being true.
November 3rd, 2006 at 12:25 am
I’m curious as to why you don’t mention lena’s website… she’s definitely guilty of posting images of herself in various states of undress. It’s one thing to write about sex, it’s another to have your website up simply to fish for compliments about your breasts.
Or do you not talk about sexandtheivy because you guys are *friends*, and god forbid you let your “hard-hitting” reporting cross the lines of personal, no strike that, internet relationships.
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:03 am
Hey Daniel, good question. Lena was in a draft, but we left her out just because the top image at her site wasn’t quite similar enough to these. (Plus, we’re much better friends with M.D. than L.C., although she’s nice too. J.G.H. we haven’t met yet.)
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:41 am
so… is some poor sex columnist at Cornell being left to wallow in obscurity?
November 3rd, 2006 at 5:28 pm
you’re totally missing the main point of any of these blogs — they’re PERSONAL sites. and on those kinds of sites, it usually includes a photograph to like, you know, tell the readers who they are. so if that’s solipsistic or whatevs, well, then the only thing you’ve managed to do is meet your post quota for the day. at least cutler & haralson class up their header images, unlike datskovsky, whose photo looks like a rejected “myspace slut of the month”.
November 3rd, 2006 at 6:03 pm
Check out ivygateblog.com. Its identicle to thousands of other layouts that use the three colubm CSS ‘holy grail’ layout. Their sites dont really resemble each other anyway. And in answer to your question, if you think they should redesign their sites then yours needs a redesign. Bad. Real bad. I woudldnt do it though because its fine how it is, it just happens to resemble a lot of sites. Who cares? All we care about is the content, as long as its readable
November 4th, 2006 at 11:04 am
sign me up for the big ten. *gag* nobody wants to read sex blogs from fuglies.
November 4th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
These hos are NOT gorgeous. Gorgeous women do not have time to blog. The story you dudes need to chase down the worm hole is Ivy Prostitution… more than you know.
November 4th, 2006 at 1:06 pm
Of course we have time to blog! We have rich boyfriends paying our bills for us.
November 5th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
I think that college sex columnists can seem surprisingly nice and humble because we’re expecting clueless, walking grandiose delusions, which they’d have to be at least half the time in order to take themselves so seriously in such an obnoxious, oversaturated field.
I know one of the columnists above, though not very well – and more importantly, I know her exasperated friends – so I have a feeling that the ad hominem attacks might stem from a connection between personality and absurd writing. I’ve also read enough Miriam and J.G.H. to not be sure who I’d dislike more over cocktails.
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